B@tgirl told me she is not going to be able to post tonight, so I thought I'd fill in and let you all know about tomorrows amazing tournament. That's right the Presidents Day Massacre is upon us again. That sporting event where every dead president rises from the grave and engages in brutal combat until a champion is crowned. It's going to be pretty hard to top last year when Grover Cleveland who everyone thought was out of the event, having been shot by Teddy Roosevelt, rose again and knocked John Adams and Thomas Jefferson out at almost the same time.What could possibly happen this time? Will Andrew Jackson beat his record of 19 kills in a single event? Will William Henry Harrison make it out of the first round for once? Will Taft again kill someone by landing on them? Will Williams Jenning Bryant try to crash the event again?
But maybe you don't know about this awesome tournament. The rules are simple each president gets to bring one weapon in to the ring and the fight lasts until 37 men are sent back to the grave, and the new champion is crowned.
This years event will be held at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, Michigan, all the major networks will be covering it from CSPAN to ESPN, from Fox News to Spike. Not to mention ABC, CBS, and NBC.
So place your predictions in the comment section, because the person with the best explanation for their pick wins a secret prize. Warning: The prize is not the vice-presidency. Don't worry.
By the way you get awesome points if you get most of the references in this article.
I'm going to make my accusation. It was James K. Polk in the study with the lead pipe. Wait, I thought this was Clue: Online.
ReplyDeleteI'm still going with Polk who's bringing a P-51 Mustang to the fight. Does he know how to fly it? Of course not. He'll just crash it and kill the others -- then he'll die in the hospital three months after winning.
I'm going to have to put in my vote for Honest Abe. I mean honestly, look at this guy!
ReplyDeleteWell, Abe does have reach and strength with that axe of his, but we all know his experience lies in killing vampires, not zombies. So I'll go with Andrew Jackson as my pick. He holds the current kill record, so we know he's a tenacious competitor with loads of ambition. Also, if he's kept up with the times, he'll carry far better than his old dueling pistol. Something more akin to a Colt .45 Navy Revolver, and plenty of bullets.
ReplyDeleteThe Colt would Jackson's choice because it's American made, and it's dueling pedigree from the 1800s would be right up his alley. Plus, the increased caliber would make for excellent amounts of body damage, probably incapacitating a single zombie pres opponent with a single shot, or at least lowering their threat rating to a crawling mass. So yeah, Andrew Jackson For the win.