Well, February is halfway over. Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early end to winter, this year. Easter decorations and candy are being displayed in local stores everywhere. Today, the temperature is a pleasant 68 degrees. Spring is starting to stir from its lengthy slumber. What a perfect time for a barbecue. But we don't need no stinking Weber grill for the BBQ I have in mind. Forget the coleslaw and the corn on the cob. Today, we're going to sear the flesh off the bones of the undead, 'cause there ain't no BBQ like Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ.
This little vertical scrolling shmup (as in "shoot 'em up) was released in 2008 for the Nintendo DS and everything about it screams "ridiculously awesome." When I first saw this at a local GameStop, three things made me want to buy it immediately (which I did): the name, the price, and the boobs. First off, just look at the title; how can something called Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ be anything but fun? It tells you everything you need to know about the game.
Of course, you play as Little Red Riding Hood, but she's not the little girl you remember from the storybooks. For starters, just look at her bod. Seriously, I would dress up like a sick grandmother just to have her pay me a visit.
My, Red, what big, um... pigtails you have.
Yeah, that's it.
Red, however, is more than just some idle T&A -- she's packin' some serious heat. Her basket of "goodies" is loaded with enough machine guns, flamethrowers, shotguns, and grenades to take out a whole nation of undead. If you think she can't kick ass and chew bubble gum, just ask the Big Bad Wolf, if you can find all of his pieces and put him back together.
KABOOM, mothafucka!
To add some variety, you can also play as Momotaro (from Japanese folklore), who wields a shuriken launching machine gun. Let's be honest, though, Momotaro doesn't have a pair of ginormous knockers, sexy legs, or a great ass, so who cares?
You may ask, "What's the story behind this game? Why is Little Red Riding Hood shooting zombies?" Do you seriously need a reason? Your questions are frivolous and unecessary. ...Okay, fine, I'll tell you. Red fought in this climactic battle with the Big Bad Wolf and obliterated his ass to kingdom come. Such victory, however, comes with a price, as The Woodsman died in the battle. As Red paid her last respects to her mentor, millions of graves in Fairy Tale Land stirred. The dead rose from their eternal rest to wreak havoc on the living. It is up to Red and her new ally, Momotaro, to put an end to the undead chaos.
Gameplay-wise, this game has an interesting twist to your standard vertical shoot 'em up fare. At the bottom of the screen, there's a row of seven squares, which your character moves between. You use the D-pad (or the Y and A buttons, if you're left-handed) to move left or right. Everything else is done with the stylus: point your stylus at enemies to aim your fire, double-tap your target to launch a grenade, touch the weapon icons to change weapons, or touch a square on the movement row to dash to that square. You can even duck projectiles by touching your character. The level scrolls toward you as you decimate zombies and clear obstacles.
Each level is modeled after popular fairy tales, such as Hansel and Gretel and Pinocchio, and are typically divided into three areas. The third area has you pounding on undead bosses, such as Red's Grandmother (tied to her bed, Exorcist style) and Santa Claus. These bosses are actually pretty tough and take some trial and error to get their pattern down.
While this game is great fun, it's not without its drawbacks. The difficulty does get pretty high the further you go, but the biggest flaw is your own hand. As I said before, you use the stylus to do just about everything. As the game gets harder, you really need to have some serious stylus-fu. With your hand moving at breakneck speeds across the screen, it sometimes gets in the way of trying to see what you're doing. Also, I can only play this game in short spurts, as my hand starts cramping if I play for too long. It does suffer from some slowdown, as well, but only some pampered wuss would complain about that.
One of the guys who made Zombie BBQ created his own company, Akaoni, and made a spiritual successor to the title, Zombie Panic in Wonderland for WiiWare. While the game does have a similar premise and art style (Momotaro, Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and a very sexy Snow White, join forces to fight zombies) and plays a lot like the arcade classic Cabal, it does suffer from its short length, uneven difficulty, and really dumb story (a plague of amorous zombies are brought on by, get this, scented dwarves).
If you want to barbecue the dead, you can't go wrong with Little Red Riding Hood. Even though places like Amazon sell the game for $23 (the original retail price was $20 when it first came out, so this is bullshit), you can find it for cheaper. I remember finding about fifty copies available at WalMart for only $10 each. However, if you own a Nintendo DSi, buying the game is as easy as getting it from the DSiWare store for the low, low price of $8.
With an awesome title, a fun premise, and a cheap price, the only excuse you have not to get Zombie BBQ is that you don't like cool games. In that case, what the hell is wrong with you?
Each level is modeled after popular fairy tales, such as Hansel and Gretel and Pinocchio, and are typically divided into three areas. The third area has you pounding on undead bosses, such as Red's Grandmother (tied to her bed, Exorcist style) and Santa Claus. These bosses are actually pretty tough and take some trial and error to get their pattern down.
While this game is great fun, it's not without its drawbacks. The difficulty does get pretty high the further you go, but the biggest flaw is your own hand. As I said before, you use the stylus to do just about everything. As the game gets harder, you really need to have some serious stylus-fu. With your hand moving at breakneck speeds across the screen, it sometimes gets in the way of trying to see what you're doing. Also, I can only play this game in short spurts, as my hand starts cramping if I play for too long. It does suffer from some slowdown, as well, but only some pampered wuss would complain about that.
One of the guys who made Zombie BBQ created his own company, Akaoni, and made a spiritual successor to the title, Zombie Panic in Wonderland for WiiWare. While the game does have a similar premise and art style (Momotaro, Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and a very sexy Snow White, join forces to fight zombies) and plays a lot like the arcade classic Cabal, it does suffer from its short length, uneven difficulty, and really dumb story (a plague of amorous zombies are brought on by, get this, scented dwarves).
If you want to barbecue the dead, you can't go wrong with Little Red Riding Hood. Even though places like Amazon sell the game for $23 (the original retail price was $20 when it first came out, so this is bullshit), you can find it for cheaper. I remember finding about fifty copies available at WalMart for only $10 each. However, if you own a Nintendo DSi, buying the game is as easy as getting it from the DSiWare store for the low, low price of $8.
With an awesome title, a fun premise, and a cheap price, the only excuse you have not to get Zombie BBQ is that you don't like cool games. In that case, what the hell is wrong with you?
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