Games You Should Know About... Earth Defense Force 2017

It was only two days ago that people across America were celebrating... well, being American.  Granted, the Fourth of July commemorates the nation's independence from Britain after a hard fought war over 200 years ago, but we get along with the British, nowadays.  Besides, I don't think George Washington crossed the Delaware in deathly cold weather so we could go swimming, eat bratwurst (man, I could go for a bratwurst), and shoot off tiny, explosive charges into the sky.

It doesn't matter, though.  While I do live in America, I consider myself more a citizen of the world.  The US Armed Forces are nice, but they've got nothing on the Earth Defense Force: destroying mutated insects, giant robots, and an armada of alien invaders with all sorts of lasers, masers, and rocket launchers.  Those are the kind of fireworks I'm into.

I say this because Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon came out this week.  While I am interested in playing it, I do have my doubts.  This is the first title in the series not created by Sandlot, who made the other games in the Chikyuu Boueigun series (which is Japanese for Earth Defense Force) and the PS2 cult classic Robot Alchemic Drive.  Instead, Insect Armageddon was made by Vicious Cycle, who also created Robotech: Battlecry (which was good) and Robotech: Invasion (which was not).  Despite this, most reviews have been pretty favorable, so far, so I'll give the game a shot.  But I'm not talking about Insect Armageddon, today.  Nope, the game you guys should know about is its predecessor.  We're taking a look at Earth Defense Force 2017 for the XBOX 360.

Even though this is the first EDF title to reach US shores (unless you count Earth Defense Force for the Super Nintendo -- no relation), it's actually the third game in the Chikyuu Boueigun series.  The first two were released for the Playstation 2, but only in Japan and Europe.  EDF 2017 is also part of publisher D3's Simple series, which are low budget games that were inexpensive for the consumer (Agetec published a few of the Simple titles for the original Playstation in the States).  Think of them as the video game equivalent to B-movies.

In EDF 2017, you play as a member of Storm 1, one of the special units in the EDF Japan Division.  One day, a giant mothership appears over Japan just as hordes of giant insects, robots, cyborg dinosaurs, and spaceships attack all over the Earth.  It's up to you to destroy the alien menace and save the planet.  As you keep playing, you pick up armor upgrades (which increases your hit points) and new weapons (over 300 to collect).  There's also five different difficulty levels that give the game a high replay value: Easy, Normal, Hard, Hardest, and Inferno (which, strangely enough, is harder than Hardest).  Split screen co-op is also really fun and, probably, the best way to play this game (no online co-op -- just invite a friend over to your place, you lazy bum).

I won't say this is a highly polished game, though.  The enemies, whether they're ants, spiders, robots, or spaceships, only have one tactic: cluster-fuck you until you die.  Of course, there really isn't any strategy for you, either.  Just keep blasting them and retreat when the cluster-fuck gets to be too much.  There are vehicles to use, but they're practically useless; except for the helicopter, which is only available in a few levels.  Most of the levels take place in city landscapes, though there are countryside, beach, and the most annoying underground levels that are hard to navigate.  The dialogue is extremely cheesy, with teammates shouting, "Come this way, and I'll kill you," "How do you like the taste of my bullets?" and the team chanting a fan favorite, "E-D-F!  E-D-F! E-D-F!"  While the graphics aren't bad for a 360 game, it does suffer from some heavy slowdown, especially when the aforementioned cluster-fucks happen.  Fortunately, most of these idiosyncrasies actually add to the B-movie charm which makes this game so great.

If you're the kind of gamer that doesn't mind a shallow, cheesy plot and minor technical limitations, so long as you're having fun (personally, this is the only kind of gamer that matters), then you owe it to yourself to get EDF 2017.  You may have to do some searching to find this game at local game stores, but you can also download it onto your XBOX 360 for the bargain basement price of $19.99.  So what are you waiting for?  Celebrate your independence by wresting it from the clutches of evil aliens.

If you'll excuse me, I need to see if I can find an Earth Defense Force patch for sale online.  E-D-F!  E-D-F!

Here's the Japanese trailer for the game, because the American trailer makes the game look like a Michael Bay film, which is lame.