Alchemusica : Yeasayer

This is the album cover. I don't know what it means either.

Hi, I'm Alchemilla, and I'm going to review an album that came out in the distant past of 2007. Why? Because you haven't heard it, and that's a shame.

Yeasayer's All Hour Cymbals

Yeasayer is a trio, and they describe themselves as "Middle Eastern-psych-snap-gospel." I don't know what that means. Wikipedia categorizes them as "Experimental rock" and "Worldbeat." I don't know what that means either.

What I do know is that they have a single out right now that you might have heard- Madder Red. I heard this song on BBC6 (my go-to station when my iPod dies at work) and jotted it down to download later. I found it, and All Hour Cymbals for next to nothing, so I got it. The first notes kind of turned me off, so I didn't listen to the album for about a month.

Lucky for me, I stuck the iPod on shuffle, and realized about halfway through the one of the songs that it was amazing, so I took a look and realized that, yeah, I had downloaded this album and maybe I should give it a listen. And it was amazing.

The song that caught my attention is 2080, the third song on the album, and one of the two singles that came out of the album.

This song, man. It's got a beautiful groove to it, and really drives the vocals. The hook is sung in falsetto, which is delicately delivered and perfectly harmonized. The first time you listen to it (which you can do --> here <-- and I highly suggest you do) you will probably not catch the lyrics. That's okay. Just let the melody take you where it's going.

Now, I'm going to go into the meaning of the song, so forgive me if that's not your thing. The song is about being unhappy with the modern life, and dreaming of escaping to a more rural life. (The lyrics are here if you'd like to take a look.) At the start of the song, it's got a digital feel, modern, synthesized, but as the singer develops more of his ideas of escape ("grab at the chance to become handsome farmers") it becomes more organic, with wind instruments and acoustic guitar, and more singers. You can hear the cacophony of the singer's thoughts and his struggle to shout over the sounds of his life, and even at the end of the song, when the children are singing, you can still hear the background of digital noise, leaving you to wonder if escape is really possible.

I'm always willing to over analyze a song.

Anyway, this song is a treat. It's unusual and beautiful, and surprisingly deep.

There are a few other gems on the album, such as Wait for the Summer and  Sunrise. But, honestly, it works very well as a whole entity. I'm not sure I'd call it a concept album, as it doesn't tell an arching story over all the songs, but they do flow into one another beautifully, and make the whole experience an enjoyable (if somewhat melancholy) one.

If you'd like to give them a try without any commitment, travel to http://www.yeasayer.net/ and have a listen to their newest singles off of Odd Blood. Madder Red is weird but good, but O.N.E. and Ambling Alp are my favorites.

I'm not going to pretend like this music is for everyone, but if you like experimental, odd, thought provoking, and quirky music, I suggest you give it a try.

Sunday Rant

So I would feel bad if I failed to comment about the recent protest that have happened in Africa and Asia recently. But it's hard to since everything is up in the air.

What do we know? Several countries are experiencing protests. Egypt, Tunisia, Algeria, Libya, Yemen, Jordan Bahrain, Oman and Iran (along with minor protests in Saudi Arabia and Morocco) have happened or are happening. North Korea is even experiencing protests (although they are unrelated and mostly due to famine). Southern Sudan has broken away to form a new country. Aside from the vague statements much is hard to say.
In good news the president of Egypt was ousted with little bloodshed. In bad news Libya's protesters where fired upon.

So what caused this? Because really even last month protests in these countries would have seemed unlikely or isolated at best.Well it seems the protests stemmed from the realization that America was not as close of allies with the regions leaders as the populace thought. This was realized partially thanks to the Wikileaks scandal. 

So why did we hold these secrets for so long? Well in part, because change is scary. Who knows what will come from any or all of these protests. Unfortunately it seems America's intelligence community works on a system of "better the devil you know then the devil you don't". 

I hope that this all results in a better life for all, but all too often in times of unrest the bastards grab hold of power. America was born of protest and strife and it too could have ended badly many times over. I wish the best for those who would stand up to tyranny. History has taught us that it is never easy to flush out, but the rewards can be bountiful. 

Good luck.

Update: Article edited for better grammer.

A Geeks Guide to Sports: Upcoming Soccer

Since I'm always trying to get Americans to watch soccer, (whether they want to or not) I figured I'd provide you with some of the games and tournaments that will be coming up this Spring and Summer.

First off for North America
01-03 March - The Quarterfinals of CONCACAF's Champions League. (Winner goes to the 2011 Club World Cup)
15 March - The 2011 season of MLS starts.
05 June - CONCACAF Gold Cup (winner goes to the 2013 Confederations Cup.)

Europe
25,26, and 29th of March - qualification continues for Euro 2012. (Yeah when you have 53 countries competing in one tournament it takes a while to sort it all out.) (Winner goes to the 2013 Confederations Cup.)
8, 9th of March - Champions League Round of 16 marches on. (Winner goes on to play in the Supercup and in the 2011 Club World Cup.)
10 March - Round of 16 starts for Europa League. (Winner goes on to play in the Supercup.)
As well as every country having it's domestic league running almost every weekend until May.

South America
02 March - The next round of games in the Copa Libertadores start up. (This is South America's Champions League.)
01 July - Copa America starts. (The national teams of South America play to see whose number 1 and also who will be going to the 2013 Confederations Cup.)

World
26 June - 2011 Women's World Cup.

It's amazing when you stand back and look at the interconnectivity of the leagues and the fact that this sport goes on in some form all year long. In closing I leave you with Vinny Jones former soccer player, currently an actor and all around scary man.
Warning: Vinny Jones played for teams that hate Manchester United so it would be unlikely to find him in the Feisty Goat if you go to England.

Flick Picks the Eigth, I am, I am.

EXPLOSIONS! Oh, and a story...

Hello Geek Streakers! Boog here with another Flick Pick. More Sci-Fi this week, and foreign Sci-Fi at that. This week, I was reminded of a little polish/japanese film I had previously seen once before, due to a review online I saw by another reviewer at another site. And while I enjoyed the review, I remembered the film very differently then he was presenting it. Frankly, I remembered it being terrible, and boring. So, I figured I would give it another chance, and take you along for the ride. Here is Avalon. And yes, SPOILERS!, and pictures too.
What to say? Upon viewing it again, I agree with my initial thought about the sparseness of the story, and the the rather unbelievable aspects of the story(which I'll get into in a bit), are hard to take. That is coupled with rather straight-forward, no-frills performances by most of the actors, no real strong points among them. That said, the film has some great parts, mainly the sets, music, and overall visual structure of the film.

Sad building is sad....

First the film portrays the world the characters live in the harsh, muted darkness, or constant sepia tones, making the 'real world' rather harsh and uninviting, while the 'game world' of Avalon is almost always presented in full color, making it look vibrant, healthy, and exciting. It isn't very subtle, but it definitely works, and brings you into the action quickly. It can backfire somewhat, by making the 'real world' segments of the film seem out of place, by slowing the pace of the film with dialogue and exposition sequences. Their are some parts with VO narration, as well, but again, the film has a very staggered, deliberate pacing that can throw you off if you aren't ready for it. Then there are the basic Sci-Fi elements you expect in a film like this. With the apparent downfall of society(we never see any police, and aside from one clinic, no infrastructure of any kind), the pastime of the masses has become the illegal virtual reality war program 'Avalon'.

Yep, even your last million searches for porn....

Despite the fact that it's illegal, it seems millions play it, mostly in what looks to be underground LAN hubs, and the best players actually convert their points in-game to real world cash, allowing them to make a living pwning N00Bs online. Access to the game, and to literally everything else in the real world, is controlled through a chip that acts like a credit card, being swiped at various terminals to act as payment, when cash isn't accepted, and it basically carries all important information about the person inside it. This becomes a niggling plot hole for me, for, despite the lack of a shown police force, it seems that an illegal game that uses the same access card as least one food dispensary, and one bookstore/library (not sure which) shown in the film, it would be quite easy to track players through their other card activities. It feels there is film missing, something that would have explained more of what's going on, and it does hurt the film somewhat.

10 Hrs?! For 1 Level? Talk about timewasting...

The game even has a few things that seem out of place. The first is the Game Master, an avatar of sorts that acts as a vocal interface for the players, showing their results at the end of the sessions, and giving them a basic rundown on levels before they enter. He doesn't seem completely necessary, and comes off rather creepy, considering that players mostly disrobe before entering the game. He's played by Wladyslaw Kowalski, which only means something to the readers who follow Polish TV. He only ever shows up on the one screen, and only talks to the heroine of the film, and in the end, I truly believe adds nothing to the film.

Hello, I'm Ash. Now you die.

Could have just used a voice instead, it would have done the same thing, without seeming like a creepy voyeur. We get introduced quickly to our heroine, a super badass solo player named Ash. We also get introduced to the concept of teams, as it seems that Ash was once in a team, called 'Wizard', that was known as the best, unbeatable team. Until, of course, they lost, causing the team to break apart. She is played by Malgorzata Foremniak, and is the second best performance of the film. She comes across as she is supposed to, strong, not very talkative, and very, very focused. Now Ash makes her living playing solo, because as a Warrior, she can do so easily. They talk about the class system a little more, but they don't go into what truly makes the classes different, as we find out that there are four classes :Warrior, Thief, Bishop, and Mage, and that a normal group consists of six players, one of each class, plus usually two extra warriors. Mages are only given a cursory mention towards the end of the film, Thieves are described as basically scouts and scavengers, and Warriors are obvious. We are told at one point that the most important skill of a Bishop is 'analyzing data', but we are never given an explanation as to how that works in game. Are they medics, as they name would suggest? They always seem to be team leaders, but of the three we see in the film, none of them show any skill or power that makes them any different than a Warrior. So, other than a plot point for the film, why have them? It's really irritating, and I'm sorry for ranting, but if you name a movie after a game you make up to be the center of a movie, the least you can do if give us a break down on the mechanics of the game, so we know what the hell is going on when we watch the sequences of the movie that are levels of the game. Okay, rant over. It's just that the movie feels unfinished, incomplete. The only mechanics of the film we are given, are the level system, and the plot point of a secret level hidden in the game, that everyone tries for, but the one that don't succeed become 'Unreturned', basically vegetables that require constant medical care, and are given such in a special clinic seemingly set aside for that purpose.

I am a Wi- I mean Dru- I mean Bishop.

Our introduction to the main character ends with an introductory shot on an enigmatic figure, revealed later to be a Bishop, one that plays solo, like Ash, and peaks her interest. He is a pretty simple character, played decently by Dariusz Biskupski, but he isn't given much more than to be a vague plot device by the script. The worst part of his plot arc comes at the end, when he explains that 'Unreturned' become like viruses to the system, and the final level is a one-time mission to remove one of them from the game, by force. Doing so gets you something really special: an Admin position within the game. Really? The end all plot point is give someone the power of the banhammer? WTF, Avalon? That really seems freaking stupid. Even with the explanation that this system of Admin selection was decided on by the original programmers, it- wait, that's even more stupid! If that's the case, how is this game still running? As Bishop is the only admin we see, if successful, Ash would be the second. Of a game played by thousands, if not millions of people, of which there are at least hundreds lying braindead in comas because they failed the Admin entrance exam! No wonder this game is illegal! And we are supposed to agree with the main character, who wants to get to this hidden level for the sake of the plot!

Hi, I'm what you call a throwaway character.

Speaking of plot, we get alot of it through exposition sequences in the real world, when Ash meets up with one of her former teammates, the Thief, Stunner, who has fallen on hard times since the team disbanded, as a Thief has a much harder time playing solo, which he has to because no one seems to want him on their team after the breakdown of Team Wizard. He is mostly played for comic relief, but most of his lines are just kinda sad, leaving you with genuine pity for this guy. His main function is provide Ash, and the audience, with just about every plot point in the film, then die so we can have a bit of emotion wrung out of the character. Sadly, I like his performance the best out of the characters in this film, but he does the least with a rather stock character. Here he is played by Bartlomiej Swiderski, and once again is mainly a Polish TV star.

If I were Ash, I wouldn't have bothered.

One of those plot points involves the 'Unreturned', which is apparently what the leader of Team Wizard, a Bishop named Murphy has become since disbanding the group. It seems he wanted to go for the hidden level, and failed. Ash visits him, giving us a rather chilling visual of the downsides of the game, but she continues looking for the level herself anyway, now believing Murphy to be trapped in the level, and wanting to rescue him. Most of this search involves learning about a Ghost, a young, mute girl, who only appears on a certain level, and only in the presence of a sufficiently high level Bishop. Ash, being a Warrior, has the levels required, but can't switch classes without losing half of her experience. So she starts seriously searching for the phantom Bishop, and is rewarded when he shows up on her doorstep. Which now means I mention one of the highlights of the film: The main character's dog, a basset hound. You see, the director, who owns a basset hound himself, absolutely loves the breed, and inserts one into every film he does. It's his trademark. I don't mind because basset hounds are just about the cutest dogs ever.

See? Cute! But damn I wish I had his meal...

His love of the animals also means that they generally eat better than most humans, a point that is commented on by one of the characters, and we get some rather pointless fluff shots involving close-ups of the animal, including a full 12 seconds devoted to the dog eating. Regardless, even the dog is rendered pointless, at one point it disappears, and other than a random cameo shot in the final sequence, which isn't real, we never see it again, or learn what happened to it. Makes me wonder why it's even here. Oh well. Ash learns of the Ghost, meets the Bishop, sets up a team to go through a mission with said Bishop to draw out the Ghost. Stunner comes along, sees the Ghost first, then gets shot and 'dies', while telling Ash what she needs to know to shoot the Ghost and enter the hidden level.

Admittedly, an extremely creepy, young girl, but...

Oh yeah, a plot point is the virtual murder of a virtual 11-13 year old girl. And we're supposed to be okay with this. Sick programming choice, that's all I'm saying. Ash tracks her down, shoots her(three times, I might add), and enters the hidden level called 'Class Real'. This is where the film truly goes off the deep end. Bishop explains the parameters of her new mission, tracking down an 'Unreturned' and 'removing' them from the system (unexplained if that returns them to their body, or just kills off the mental side of them, their 'soul' if you will), and then leaves. Ash changes, following various obvious clues to an Opera House where she runs into... Murphy. Anybody who didn't see this coming, take fifteen shots, because it was pretty obvious. Here we are given a rather quick character motivation, going with a 'reality is what you make it' message, basically telling Ash that he wanted to be on his own, in a reality he liked, and disbanded the team to do so. He then tries to shoot her. Ash shoots first, giving Murphy ample time to talk to Ash about letting her decide her destiny. blah, blah, blah, before disappearing like every other death in the game world, proving that whatever they are in, it isn't real, negating the whole point of the conversation. Except that Ash seems to suddenly have an epiphany, and decides that Murphy was right about how reality works, but we don't learn if that means she is staying in 'Class Real' , or going home to never play Avalon again, or what have you. All in All a confusing end to a lackluster and confusing story, played out by stock characters, against AMAZING backgrounds, visuals and music.

Great Visual Director. Little short on story here.

Director Mamoru Oshii, will be know to anime fans as the director behind Ghost in the Shell. And that's about it. He's directed other works, but most of it is anime that came out before 1990, so not that well known. While I will agree with most of the anime community that Ghost in the Shell is an extraordinary piece of work, I feel the reason why it works is because it's an anime series, and series of movies, allowing for a larger scale to play out gigantic storylines, with tons of characters and plot points to keep people interested. Avalon feels mostly like a rushed pilot for something on the scale of Ghost in the Shell, and that's a little disappointing. Especially considering the writer, Kazunori Ito. He worked with Mamoru on the Ghost in the Shell movies, and every .hack game, film, and TV show, ever. So he's used to writing stories involving a cyberworld existing within a real one, but it feels like a beta version here. Haphazard, incomplete. Like a dry run for something better. The main thing I can definitely praise here is the music. Kenji Kawaii does very well here, playing tunes like his GitS work, operatic and classical in nature, driven by strings and choral vocals, giving a sense of epic scale to the proceedings. And Kenji happens the most accomplished of the anime crew here, having worked on GitS (of course), as well as all of the Death Note films, and two of my old favorites in the world of anime: Vampire Princess Miyu, and Project A-Ko. So in closing, an exceptional soundtrack driving some impressive visual work, are used as the wrappings of a story and characters that just don't quite deliver. If you're a diehard Sci-Fi fan, go ahead and check it out, you'll probably enjoy it. Otherwise, I'd steer clear. Now to go find something exciting, more like a thriller....

Ginger, on fun time wasting stuff

I just wanted to share this awesome fan video with you guys, kinda finish up my Avatar stuff with style. It's pretty cool. The creator did really well with the timing/dubbing. I hope you like it!



Sokka cracks me up. Gotta love that guy.

RUSH: Beyond the Lighted Stage

There is no reason why I should not like Rush.  The guys in this power trio are consummate musicians, staunch individualists, honest, intelligent, and far enough from the mainstream to be unaffected by the tide of commercial music.  More than just that, Rush was a huge inspiration for me growing up.  The music and lyrics meant something significant to me.  Supposedly, a lot of people feel the same way, because Rush has been considered the world's largest cult band.

With that said, it's kind of strange that their entire story hasn't been told until now.  Last year, a documentary came out, Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage, that goes in depth with the history, dynamics, influence, trials, tribulations, and musical evolution of the group.  It's a thoughtful and well-crafted film that gives the band its due time in the limelight (pun intended).

For Rush fans, it's a smorgasbord of footage, especially old footage that featured founding drummer John Rutsey, which has never before been seen by most people.  Along with the band reminiscing their career, there's a lot of interviews with other rock stars, solidifying the fact that Rush is one of the most influential bands to other musicians.

While there is a lot for the Rush fan to love, there really is something that even those who aren't so attuned to Rush's music can appreciate.  Whether or not you're a Rush geek, this movie will give you a newfound respect for the guys in the band, as individuals and musicians.  If you're a Rush fan and you don't own this, get this movie, now.



Next week, I'm doing a video (gasp).  Yeah, I know, you get to see how homely I am, you unfortunate bastards.  I'm gonna showcase my new toy, the Retron3, and give you my impressions.

Ginger, on the martial arts behind Firebending

Today is the fourth and final post in my mini series, the martial arts Behind Avatar: The Last Airbender. I started this because I wanted to know more about the martial arts used to create the different bending styles in the Avatar cartoon. (Creaters Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Koniezko brought in martial arts specialist Sifu Kisu to ensure authenticity.) To recap a little: I posted about Airbending first because Aang was the title character and it wouldn't be fair to start without him. Next I posted about Waterbending because Katara is really the first person to join team avatar in the series. After that, it just seamed right to post about Earthbending since Toph was next A-Team member outside of the water tribe peeps. So, last but not least, we come to Firebending and Prince Zuko - outcast turned traitor turned ... hero? Yeah, that's about right.

Firebender Zuko (Source: Kirk Quilaquil)

When we talk about Firebending, Zuko is probably the first person to come to mind. Hot-headed and high strung, Zuko is exactly what you'd expect for a person who's inner element is fire. His story is probably the most realistic of all the characters. Though the course of the series, he struggles between what he thinks he needs to do and what he thinks he should do and then again later between the person he thinks he should be and he person he's actually become. In short, trying not to spoiling anything, I think Zuko is very brave and weird as it sounds, his character is the one I'm most proud of by the end.

The movements in Firebending itself are based on the Chinese martial art style Northern Shaolin. In its broadest sense, Northern Shaolin refers to the external (as opposed to internal) martial arts of Northern China referring to those styles from the Northern Shaolin Monastery. At its most specific, Northern Shaolin refers to a style called Fist taught at the gates of Northern Shaolin, disseminated by Gu Ruzhang.

Some history: the original Shaolin Monastery is located in Henan. Here the monks began to practice military weapons sometime around the Tang Dynasty and became famous for aiding the future Emperor,Li Shimin, in struggles against rebellious forces. The monks were primarily known for their spear and staff techniques until the Ming-Qing transition when they began to specialize in unarmed combat. As the reputation of the Shaolin martial arts grew during the following centuries, its name became synonymous with martial arts, regardless of whether an individual art traced its origins to the Shaolin Monastery in Henan or not. As a result, the "Shaolin" moniker was applied to other Buddhist temples with strong reputations for martial arts. The characteristics of the martial arts taught at each temple were so different from each other that they became identified with their place of origin.

Uncle Iroh (Source: Josh Duncan)

The Northern Shaolin style associated with Gu Ruzhang was first taught to a layman disciple, the celebrated 18th century master Gan Fengchi of Jiangsu Province, by a Shaolin monk named Zhao Yuan (born Zhu Fu) who was actually a member of the Ming royal family who joined the sangha after the Ming was overthrown by the Qing in 1644. (Gan is also remembered for founding the martial art Huāquán, literally "flower fist", about which he wrote the book Introduction to Huāquán.) Gan in turn taught Wan Bangcai, who taught Yan Degong, who taught Yan Sansen, who taught Yan Jiwen, who *take a breath* taught his nephew Gu Ruzhang (1894–1952). Talk about a hand me down! (Yan Jiwen also taught Gu the skills of Iron Body and Iron Palm. On a famous occasion in 1931, Gu is said to have demonstrated the latter on a horse. (Poor horse right?)

Among the martial artists who gathered at the Central National Martial Arts Institute in Nanjing in 1928, Gu placed in the top fifteen and was included - alongside Fu Zhensong, Li Xianwu, Wan Laimin, Wan Laisheng, and Wong Shao Chou - in the Five Southbound Tigers, five masters of the Northern Chinese martial arts sent to Guangzhou to organize another National Martial Arts Institute. In Guangzhou, the name "Shaolin" was already associated with Hung Gar and other styles, so Gu's style came to be known by the name Northern Shaolin. (His style is also known by the names Bak Sil Lum in Cantonese and Bei Shaolin in Mandarin.Yay knowledge!)

A Shaolin Temple in Henan. Absolutely beautiful.

Currently, the Northern Shaolin style of kung fu is one of the most prominent traditional northern styles of Chinese martial arts. The northern styles of kung-fu generally emphasize long range techniques, quick advances and retreats, wide stances, kicking and leaping techniques, whirling circular blocks, quickness, agility, and aggressive attacks. The system teaches empty-hand techniques and weaponry through predetermined combinations, known as forms, routines, or movement of sets. The students learn the basics by practicing the routines until the movements in the routines can be executed naturally based on instinct. Then, two or multiple man sets are practiced to train responses and applications of techniques learned from the sets. The practice sets/routines are not only practical in applications but are also graceful and artistic in nature. The fluidness of the movements combined with acrobatic techniques are trademarks of the Northern Shaolin Kung-Fu sets. The Northern Shaolin style of Kung-Fu was made famous by the late Ku Yu Cheung. There are many legends of Ku; according to tales related by his close students, Ku's father was an accomplished exponent of the Tan Tui (Snapping Kicks) Kung-Fu form. When he was young, Ku traveled throughout Northern China to learn all the northern kung-fu systems. He was renowned for his Iron Palm techniques and the application of the long spear. He organized all his learnings into what is the Northern Shaolin Kung Fu today.

Of the four bending styles, the Northern Shaolin Firebending is probably the most ... attractive (?) style. It has a lot of flourishes that the other forms lack, but in a way I guess that kind of mimics fire. Fire itself is beautiful to look at; it's so many colors all rolled up together, it's constantly moving- almost like it's dancing. If you watch a fire in a controlled situation, you could forget what a destructive force it is. Maybe that's where the creators pulled Zuko from - the idea that if properly guided and controlled fire can be a creating force instead of a deathly one. You just have to come to terms with which one you want to be.

What Sifu Kisu has to say about it:


I hope you've had as much fun reading this series as I did writing it.
May the fun never end:

Dance Party! (Source: Johane Matte)

Alchemandate : Watch This Movie! Groove

Hello, Alchemilla here, and today I'd like to drop a little natsukashi bomb.

"What is Natsukashi?" I hear some of you ask. Well, dear reader, it is a Japanese word that has no direct english translation, but can be described as nostalgia for a past that never was.

I think we can all think of movies or shows that create this feeling within us, and I'm going to talk about one of mine today.

Groove, released in 2000, is a fairly low budget movie about a rave in an abandoned warehouse in San Francisco. Well, more specifically, it's about a bunch of people who are going to the rave. It follows several different people with somewhat interconnecting stories that are all tied together by a really great party.

Because of the tone of the movie, you feel like you've really been invited to the party, and there are several scenes where you get to enjoy what is great about a rave- the music and the energy of all the people around you. It's all interspersed with some great acting and some really sweet slice-of-life stories. You'll have a tough time leaving this movie without a smile on your face.

So, dear reader, if you were a raver, or if you weren't and want to know sort of what it felt like to go, I urge you to check this movie out if you can get a hold of it. It is available on Amazon, under $6 for a used DVD, or you can buy it Video-on-Demand for $10. It's also available on Netflix.

Alchememories : You Don't Know Jack!

As you will soon discover.

DELAYED VERY EXTRA SPECIAL VALENTINE'S DAY EPISODE!

Hi, Alchemilla here, and as today is Valentine's Day*, I'm going to talk a little about what my lovely husband, Anacronus, gave me as a valentine.

You may remember a little computer game that came out in 1995, called You Don't Know Jack. If you don't, let me fill you in. You Don't Know Jack (or, YDKJ) is a game show style game that combines traditional trivia with questions about pop culture and tricky mind bender type questions, all brought to you by a snarky host who takes great pleasure in making fun of you.

YDKJ originally came out in '95, but the games I'm most familiar with are Vol. 3 (released in '97) and The Ride (release in '98). My brother and I played endless hours of YDKJ on our first family computer; letting Cookie (the host) harass us and call us names. And it was glorious!

I was lucky enough to find a copy of YDKJ 3 for sale at my local Goodwill. You bet your butt that I picked that up. And, yes, it runs quite well on current editions of Windows.

YDKJ is formatted for quick game play. On the titles I mentioned above and the PS1 game (that Anacronus had), you could choose to play a 7 question or a 21 question game, both of which went quick. The questions are mostly multiple choice questions, and are often worded misleadingly, making it even more difficult to choose the correct answer within the short timer.

You are also given screws, which you can use to literally screw your fellow players - in 3, it just made them answer the question, but in The Ride, you'd pound on the S key of your keyboard to shoot screws at the screen, usually making the question unreadable, just to make your fellow players hate you a little more.

In addition to the basic questions, there were other types of questions sprinkled in. There is "Dis or Dat" in which you are given words or short phrases, and you have to indicate weather they are "dis" or "dat". For example, you may have to determine if the words provided are brands of adult diapers or names of bunny ranches in Nevada. (Yes, this is an actual example!) There are also Fill in the Blank questions (hard for me because spelling counts), Gibberish Questions, and my favorite, Impossible questions, which are basically questions about stuff that probably .0001% of the population would know.

Finally, the last question is always the Jack Attack- all the players are given the chance to buzz in matching 2 words or phrases together that make sense within the clue given. This is the best chance you have of pulling out a late game victory, or, if you're like me, getting twitchy and really screwing yourself by hitting wrong answers.

The trivia is fun, but what really makes YDKJ is the extra stuff. Every question has a jingle based on it's number, which are real earworms that'll stick with you forever. The hosts are acerbic gold, and there are commercials that play after the show is over that will have you rolling.

You may, at this point, be asking yourself what the heck computer games from the '90s have to do with this Valentine's Day.

Well, I'm happy to tell you, dear reader, that you no longer have to scour your local Goodwill for copies of these games. Yes, you can pick up the NEWEST YDKJ game on your favorite gaming console as of last week! Just in time for a (very) last minute gift for your own sweetie!

The new game has all of the awesome stuff I mentioned above (accept Fill in the Blank, yay!) plus all new jokes and references, including but not limited to: Facebook jokes, Jersey Shore mocking, Twitter references, and Slap Chop/Shammwow related questions! Plus, my very favorite host from the old games, Cookie, has graced us with his presence.

They haven't updated much anything other than the script, which, admittedly, is just what I wanted. The graphics for the old games were very very basic- just white text on a black screen. The new game keeps this clean aesthetic. The writing is as funny as ever, and the commercials do not disappoint. They've also added new stuff, like the "Wrong Answer of the Day" which, if you can find, will net you extra cash.

If you are at all interested (and you should be, plebe) you can  find more info and fun at www.youdontknowjack.com/.

*I was sick last week, and was unable to edit/post this, sorry about that!

A Geeks Guide to Presidents Day

B@tgirl told me she is not going to be able to post tonight, so I thought I'd fill in and let you all know about tomorrows amazing tournament. That's right the Presidents Day Massacre is upon us again. That sporting event where every dead president rises from the grave and engages in brutal combat until a champion is crowned. It's going to be pretty hard to top last year when Grover Cleveland who everyone thought was out of the event, having been shot by Teddy Roosevelt, rose again and knocked John Adams and Thomas Jefferson out at almost the same time.

What could possibly happen this time? Will Andrew Jackson beat his record of 19 kills in a single event? Will William Henry Harrison make it out of the first round for once? Will Taft again kill someone by landing on them? Will Williams Jenning Bryant try to crash the event again?

But maybe you don't know about this awesome tournament. The rules are simple each president gets to bring one weapon in to the ring and the fight lasts until 37 men are sent back to the grave, and the new champion is crowned.

This years event will be held at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, Michigan, all the major networks will be covering it from CSPAN to ESPN, from Fox News to Spike. Not to mention ABC, CBS, and NBC.

So place your predictions in the comment section, because the person with the best explanation for their pick wins a secret prize. Warning: The prize is not the vice-presidency. Don't worry.

By the way you get awesome points if you get most of the references in this article.

When will we end the feline on rodent
violence issue in this country?

When I was in college, one of my Professors found us watching Tom and Jerry  on one of the televisions that were in the hallways. (We were doing this while waiting for the classroom to open up.) He couldn't believe we were watching cartoons rather then doing something productive. So I told him that Tom and Jerry is just a metaphor for the immigration issues of the 19th century in America. He probably lost all respect for me there, but  I've made a game out of trying to give things a meaning much deeper then they are.

Today you get to see a part of this. I'm going to tell you about a movie, but I don't want to review them, you know in case Boog wants to do that later. So instead I'm going to tell you about a movie you've never seen and tell you about it's (pseudo-)hidden meaning.

Not this one...

Today I'm going to talk about Bandits...uh not the Bruce Willis movie of 2001, the German movie of the same name made in 1997. I have not seen the 2001 version, but I assume they are not the same movie. This movie was directed by someone you don't know and starring 4 people you don't know. I'm not trying to be rude but seriously here's the IMDB page for the movie. I doubt you know any of them. I've never seen them in anything else, and I watched more then my fair share of Germany's movies while stationed over there.

This one.

The Bandits we will be talking about is about 4 female prisoners in Germany who start a band in prison. They get a chance to play at a ball for the police and politicians, but break out instead. The movie then becomes a road trip movie. They later seek shelter in a bar, and decide the bar's band sucks enough that they take over the stage. When the cops show up, they take a hostage (one American that the bass player likes, he's named West of all things.) escape the cops, and keep going.
At one point they find out a record producer has put there music on the radio, (they sent a demo tape in while still in prison,) but he doesn't have their permission to do it, so they get him to pay the money, and keep going.

This movie has a server case of WTF going on sometimes in that scenes will sometimes become music videos. There's a scene where they are stuck in traffic on a bridge and one of their songs comes on the radio and a person in the next car notices them. A choreographed dance then breaks out on the bridge only to be interrupted when they get to the front of the traffic jam and find that the jam is to search every car for them. There are several music video-esque scenes in the movie, and most are not too jarring, but it does leave most people going wait what?

So what could the hidden message be according to me? I see the prison as being East Germany, they escape only to find that they really aren't used to this new world and they really can't get comfortable. The love interest being named West is what really does it for me, I think he's supposed to represent the promise of the West, pretty but flawed. He's played by a German male-model. I won't ruin why he's flawed in case anyone does want to see it. There are even times when some of the characters want to go back to prison. Even today there is a chunk of the German population who thinks things were better when the wall was up and want to return to that way of life.

As much as I poke fun of the weirdness of this movie, I really enjoy it the music is catchy, it's interesting, and you'll probably never see anything like it. So give it shot, surprisingly it's not hard to find. It's just pricey.

Flick Picks 7: Gulity Pleasure #1

First off, sorry for the lateness of my posting. I have been very sick recently, lots of nasty stuff you don't want know about coming out of me. Now that I have that particular mental image in your head(you welcome), it's time for a new Flick Picks, and a special one at that. This is the first Guilty Pleasure edition, and I've hit on a doozy. First, it's a cult classic, enjoyed the world over as a prime example of Roger Corman's work, being filled with cheese, blood, cheese, boobs, cheese, bad make-up, oh, and cheese. By that token, it is also a favorite of mine, which, over the years and with plenty of repeat viewings, have noticed it's evident flaws, including bad sound sync issues, terrible editing, bad effects, and obvious cost cutting set work, using abandoned buildings and matte paintings in place of something substantial. I'm talking of 1975's Death Race 2000. SPOILERS!!! Oh, and for the first time, PICTURES!
This film is plenty weird and offbeat, with action, blood, messy effects, and lovely 70s synth music. Very crappy 70s synth music. Seriously, it assaults your ears like a rabid daschund tearing into a badger den. Your ears will bleed. Profusely. And that's not as bad as the plot, or dialogue. The plot is a simple mess, making NASCAR the national sport, but only 5 racers per race, they get a concubine/navigator that rides with them, they race from coast to coast, and part of the race is scored by how many innocent pedestrians they can kill with their cars along the route. The scoring system is pretty basic, with the base being a male aged 21-40. From there are bonuses(from lowest to highest) based on being female, teenaged, toddler, elderly, pregnant female, pregnant teenager(because the child gets bonus points too). Here's an example from the film:

This is beyond dumb. First, we have to believe that among all the myriad sports, the entire population of America will get behind racing. Not saying that racing is bad, but what happened to football, soccer, hockey, basketball? Then, you get to combine the one believable bit of the setting(a global economy collapse), with the other crap(the entire telephone system is down, but we still have TV?), and you get a rather muddy mess. I still wonder how a script so evidently flawed got filmed. Then there are the good bits of tounge-in-cheek satire the script has for us, mainly coming from the fact that the ruling party of America is a religious one, with "Mr. President" being presented as a messiah figure:


I seriously get a 'worship me' vibe from this guy. Not a lot of screen time, but he's more of a plot and story impetus than a character here. The satire thing goes pretty far, and then some, with the media personalities covering the race, the most unapologetically bloodthirsty being Junior Bruce, played here by Don Steele, whom most of might remember as the the voice of 'Rockin' Ricky Rialto from Speilberg's 1984 Christmas gem Gremlins.

In case you were wondering what that voice looked like. The media personalities, Junior Bruce, and one other, a Grace Pander, are one-dimensional at best, Junior being bloodlust and violence happy, Grace being sycophantic, almost parasitic, in her attempts to remain the focus of attention. she was played by now dead actress Joyce Jameson, whose best picture came from an obituary article:

It's a shame, really, because I think her character really gets the point across about the decadence and evils inherent in the society of the future-past year 2000 alot better than any other, despite her small screen time. After this film, she guest starred on about every single TV show there was between the air date of the film, 1975, and her apparent(unconfirmed) retirement in 1984. She died three years later. The drivers, and their cars, are a lovely cheesy mix of 70s excess and the MTV show Pimp My Ride. Each of the five follow a specific theme, with a one-dimensional personality trait to match. There is Nero 'The Hero' who is narcissistic, and that's it. His car is made to look like a lion, oh he's played by Martin Kove. You know, Cobra Kai?
Then there's Matilda the Hun, the resident Nazi, 'Calamity Jane' Kelly, you guessed it, a cowgirl, 'Machine Gun' Joe Viturbo, a angry pinstriped mafioso, and Frakenstein, a monster of flesh and plastic and metal, with a personality to match. The two women racer are both prideful, and that's really the only thing they show. Joe is angry, and that's really all he shows. Frakenstein is obsessed with winning the race, and regardless of personal character revelations, that never changes. No real depth here, folks, move along.

Here's some examples of Matilda, plus her navigator:










And of Jane:








And of Joe. Did I mention he's played by Sylvester Stallone? I didn't? Well, he is, and another example of dumb carried into the costume. Who covers their helmet in pinstriped fabric?







And Frankenstein, here in all of his parachute gimp suit glory. Seriously, there are some deep seated issues here that need to be addressed by a professional. It should also be noted that Frankenstein is played by David 'Kung Fu' Carradine. This character is also probably the closest I've seen on film to his recent performance of Bill, of Kill Bill fame. The two characters, while, very different (one obsessed with the greater good, one obsessed with himself), both are marked with an unwavering determination to see there plans through, even if it kills them. Now, this is a 70s film, so there are a lot of breasts in this movie, and there is blood, if you count the comically lame, even by 70s standards, blood and injury effects. Their are some major editing issues as well, as there are points where it is obvious a stunt double is being used, some pretty obvious continuity errors, and some issues with sound sync in the race shots. But now we come to the major point of all this: I. Don't. Care. I love this film, I revel in it's 70s cheese, and while I HATE the music, I tolerate it for the sake of one of my favorite movies, hands down. This film, while quite flawed, has a great message about the coverage of violence in the media, and the part that such violence plays in our lives. Not to say that violence isn't necessary, if I didn't have my violent games and movies, I would be a very sad individual. But it does place an emphasis on how focusing on, and glorifying, any kind of violence, isn't the right route either. And on that note, I would say, if you like 70s cinema, if you like Roger Corman films, if you like cheesy dialogue wrapped in cheesy costumes and plot points, and peppered with synth music, then check out Death Race 2000. You won't regret it.

Games You Should Know About... Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ

Before I begin, here's another awesome game, though you may already know about it.  Hard Corps: Uprising came out today on XBOX Live.  It's the prequel to the classic Contra: Hard Corps on the Genesis.  It was created in a joint production between Konami and Arc System Works (the guys who made the Guilty Gear series, among other things).  If you love Contra and heavy metal run 'n' gun action, do not hesitate to pick this one up.

Well, February is halfway over.  Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early end to winter, this year.  Easter decorations and candy are being displayed in local stores everywhere.  Today, the temperature is a pleasant 68 degrees.  Spring is starting to stir from its lengthy slumber.  What a perfect time for a barbecue.  But we don't need no stinking Weber grill for the BBQ I have in mind.  Forget the coleslaw and the corn on the cob.  Today, we're going to sear the flesh off the bones of the undead, 'cause there ain't no BBQ like Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ.

This little vertical scrolling shmup (as in "shoot 'em up) was released in 2008 for the Nintendo DS and everything about it screams "ridiculously awesome."  When I first saw this at a local GameStop, three things made me want to buy it immediately (which I did): the name, the price, and the boobs.  First off, just look at the title; how can something called Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ be anything but fun?  It tells you everything you need to know about the game.

Of course, you play as Little Red Riding Hood, but she's not the little girl you remember from the storybooks.  For starters, just look at her bod.  Seriously, I would dress up like a sick grandmother just to have her pay me a visit.

My, Red, what big, um... pigtails you have.

Yeah, that's it.

Red, however, is more than just some idle T&A -- she's packin' some serious heat.  Her basket of "goodies" is loaded with enough machine guns, flamethrowers, shotguns, and grenades to take out a whole nation of undead.  If you think she can't kick ass and chew bubble gum, just ask the Big Bad Wolf, if you can find all of his pieces and put him back together.

KABOOM, mothafucka!

To add some variety, you can also play as Momotaro (from Japanese folklore), who wields a shuriken launching machine gun.  Let's be honest, though, Momotaro doesn't have a pair of ginormous knockers, sexy legs, or a great ass, so who cares?

You may ask, "What's the story behind this game?  Why is Little Red Riding Hood shooting zombies?"  Do you seriously need a reason?  Your questions are frivolous and unecessary.  ...Okay, fine, I'll tell you.  Red fought in this climactic battle with the Big Bad Wolf and obliterated his ass to kingdom come.  Such victory, however, comes with a price, as The Woodsman died in the battle.  As Red paid her last respects to her mentor, millions of graves in Fairy Tale Land stirred.  The dead rose from their eternal rest to wreak havoc on the living.  It is up to Red and her new ally, Momotaro, to put an end to the undead chaos.

Gameplay-wise, this game has an interesting twist to your standard vertical shoot 'em up fare.  At the bottom of the screen, there's a row of seven squares, which your character moves between.  You use the D-pad (or the Y and A buttons, if you're left-handed) to move left or right.  Everything else is done with the stylus: point your stylus at enemies to aim your fire, double-tap your target to launch a grenade, touch the weapon icons to change weapons, or touch a square on the movement row to dash to that square.  You can even duck projectiles by touching your character.  The level scrolls toward you as you decimate zombies and clear obstacles.

Each level is modeled after popular fairy tales, such as Hansel and Gretel and Pinocchio, and are typically divided into three areas.  The third area has you pounding on undead bosses, such as Red's Grandmother (tied to her bed, Exorcist style) and Santa Claus.  These bosses are actually pretty tough and take some trial and error to get their pattern down.

While this game is great fun, it's not without its drawbacks.  The difficulty does get pretty high the further you go, but the biggest flaw is your own hand.  As I said before, you use the stylus to do just about everything.  As the game gets harder, you really need to have some serious stylus-fu.  With your hand moving at breakneck speeds across the screen, it sometimes gets in the way of trying to see what you're doing.  Also, I can only play this game in short spurts, as my hand starts cramping if I play for too long.  It does suffer from some slowdown, as well, but only some pampered wuss would complain about that.

One of the guys who made Zombie BBQ created his own company, Akaoni, and made a spiritual successor to the title, Zombie Panic in Wonderland for WiiWare.  While the game does have a similar premise and art style (Momotaro, Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and a very sexy Snow White, join forces to fight zombies) and plays a lot like the arcade classic Cabal, it does suffer from its short length, uneven difficulty, and really dumb story (a plague of amorous zombies are brought on by, get this, scented dwarves).

If you want to barbecue the dead, you can't go wrong with Little Red Riding Hood.  Even though places like Amazon sell the game for $23 (the original retail price was $20 when it first came out, so this is bullshit), you can find it for cheaper.  I remember finding about fifty copies available at WalMart for only $10 each.  However, if you own a Nintendo DSi, buying the game is as easy as getting it from the DSiWare store for the low, low price of $8.

With an awesome title, a fun premise, and a cheap price, the only excuse you have not to get Zombie BBQ is that you don't like cool games.  In that case, what the hell is wrong with you?

Ginger, on the martial arts behind Earthbending

Ok guys! On to issue three this week in mah super awesome mini series: The Martial Arts Behind Bending ... stuff. See issue one here: The martial arts behind Airbending, and issue two here: The martial arts behind Waterbending. I started this series because I was so impressed with the realist look of the martial arts in Avatar: The Last Airbender, and after looking into it more, I found out the the different bending styles were actually based on real arts. (The creators of the show - Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Koniezko - actually brought in a specialist - Sifu Kisu - to help create them.) And I wanted to share what I found with you wonderful people. (Awww.) Enjoy!

Earthbender Toph Fanart (Source: Tyshea)

In the Avatar world, The Earth Kingdom has the largest population and covers the largest amount of land. (Not unlike China in terms of Asia.) Because of it's large population base, Earthbenders are the benders the viewers meet the most of in the course of the show. The most impressive Earthbender, and my favorite character, is Toph. Much like the rest of the cast Toph is a child who runs a way from home - but the real kicker is that she's also blind. (Or so you think!) Toph uses her Earthbending abilities to see with her feet - and while that might sound totally stupid, she comes off as a total bad ass.

More Toph Fanart (Source: Unknown)

Earthbending itself is based on the Chinese marital art Hung Gar. Historically this art was transmitted orally rather than by text, meaning much of the early history of Hung Gar will probably never be either clarified or corroborated by written documentation. That said, the "legend" as to how Hung Gar - as we know it today - came into being is pretty cool: Hung Hei-Gun (originally named Jyu, he assumed a name to honor the first Ming emperor) was a tea merchant that escaped to the Southern Fujian Shaolin Temple after he had an argument with a few upper class Manchurians during the Qing Dynasty when the Manchus were in control. An abott there (Jee Sin) accepted him into the temple and soon found out how talented and hardworking he was in Southern Shaolin Kung Fu. Jee Sin was impressed by Hung and soon began to teach him the Tiger style that he specialized in. After six years Hung became the top laymen follower in the temple (Laymen being people who went to the temple to learn only kung fu and not religion). However, soon afterwards the Qing government destroyed the temple (as well as most of the inhabitants) because the temple gave refuge to many rebels who wanted to restore the Ming Dynasty. Hung was lucky enough to escape (again), though sadly his mentor Jee Sin was not. During his wanderings in the years that followed he met Fong Wing-chun and found out that her father, Fong Sai-yuk (kung fu brother of Hung) was killed by the same person who killed his mentor. Over time they became friends and Fong Wing-chun decided she would teach him her crane style (more evasive) to balance out his hard tiger techniques (more aggressive) - Hence the name Tiger & Crane Style Hung Gar sometimes goes by! Hung went on to avenge Jee Sin and Fong Sai-yuk by finally destroying the murderer (Bak Mei according to some sources).  After many years Hung met Fong Wing-chun again, fell in love, and asked her to marry him. (Cue: Awwww!) Hung later opened a martial arts school when the martial arts ban was lifted in China. It was named Hung Gar Kuen in honour of the first emperor of the last true Chinese (Ming) Dynasty. (He must really love that guy hun?)

Yeah Tea!!!

 What can be confirmed about Hung Gar's history? It was created by a man named Hung Hei-Gun. (Yes, that was an assumed name to honor Mr. Ming emperor.) Hung was a tea merchant before becoming a martial bad ass. He was mentored in bad assory by Jee Sin in a southern Shaolin temple. That temple was destoryed by Quig Dynasty (sore winners if you ask me). Hung did learn Crane style sometime later in his life, though it can't be confirmed he learned it from miss Fong. Other than that - believe what you will. I personally think that legend is nice - though I'm on the fence about the whole vengeance thing.

A traditional horse stance

About the style itself: Hung Gar one of the most famous of the Southern Shaolin styles of Chinese martial arts. It has very specific rhythms to the way it is learned and performed. It is considered a righteous style wherein the student is supposed to be focused on learning the traditional forms precisely and exactly, thereby upholding the strong tradition of the style. The hallmarks of Hung Gar are deep low stances, notably its "sei ping ma" horse stance, and strong hand techniques, most notably the bridge hand and the versatile tiger claw. The student traditionally spent anywhere from several months to three years in stance training, which would often consist of sitting in horse stance for between half an hour to several hours at one time, before learning any forms. Each form then might take a year or so to learn, with weapons learned last. However, in modernity, this mode of instruction has been deemed economically unfeasible and impractical for students, who have other concerns beyond practicing kung fu. Hung Ga is sometimes mis-characterized as solely external - that is, reliant on brute physical force rather than the cultivation of qi - even though the student advances progressively towards an internal focus.

Hung Gar is more recently associated with Chinese folk hero Wong Fei Hung (from the late 1800's - early 1900's). Wong was a martial artist, traditional medicine physician, acupuncturist, as well as a revolutionary - apparently he also became the subject of numerous television series and films. (Though why I don't know. It's not like he could multi class or anything.)  He was considered an expert in the Hung Gar style and visibly the most famous practitioner of modern times. The four pillars of Wong's Hung Gar style include:

• Taming the Tiger Fist: The long routine Taming the Tiger Fist trains the student in the basic techniques of Hung Gar while building endurance. It is said to go at least as far back as Jee Sin, who taught Taming the Tiger - or at least an early version of it - to Hung Hei-Gun.
• Tiger Crane Paired Form Fist: Tiger Crane builds on Taming the Tiger, adding "vocabulary" to the Hung Gar practitioner's repertoire. Wong Fei-Hung choreographed the version of Tiger Crane handed down in the lineages that descend from him. He is said to have added to Tiger Crane the bridge hand techniques and rooting of the master Tit Kiu Saam as well as long arm techniques, attributed variously to the Fat Ga, Lo Hon, and Lama styles. Tiger Crane Paired Form routines from outside Wong Fei-Hung Hung Gar still exist.

Tigress from DreamWorks' Kung Fu Panda

•  Five Animal Fist / Five Element Fist:  These routines serve as a bridge between the external force of Tiger Crane and the internal focus of Iron Wire. "Five Animals" (literally "Five Forms") refers to the characteristic Five Animals of the Southern Chinese martial arts: Dragon, Snake, Tiger, Leopard, and Crane. "Five Elements" refers to the five classical Chinese elements: Earth, Water, Fire, Metal and Wood; with each of the elements being directly related to one of the Five Animals. Thus, in the order in which they are practiced, they are Dragon/Earth, Snake/Water, Tiger/Fire, Leopard/Metal and Crane/Wood. The Hung Ga Five Animal Fist was choreographed by Wong Fei Hung and expanded by Lam Sai Wing, a senior student and teaching assistant of Wong Fei Hung, into the Five Animal Five Element Fist (also called the "Ten Form Fist"). In the Lam Sai Wing branch of Hung Ga, the Five Animal Five Element Fist has largely, but not entirely, superseded the Five Animal Fist, which has become associated with Tang Fong.
• Iron Wire Fist: Iron Wire builds internal power and is attributed to the martial arts master Tit Kiu Saam. Like Wong Fei Hung's father Wong Kei-Ying, Tit Kiu Saam was one of the Ten Tigers of Canton. As a teenager, Wong Fei Hung learned Iron Wire from Lam Fuk-Sing, a student of Tit Kiu Saam. The Iron Wire form is essentially a combination of qigong (or meditative breathing) with isometric exercise particularly dynamic tension although weights were also used in traditional practice in the form of iron rings worn on the wrists. If properly practiced it can increase strength considerably and promote a stable root. However, as with both most forms of qigong and most forms of isometric exercise it must be practiced regularly or the benefits are quickly lost.

Traditional Butterfly Swords

Common weapons for Hung Gar style are the pole, broadsword, the butterfly swords, the spear, and even the fan, but different branches use different routines to do so.

I think the Hung Gar style is the most ... represented (?) style in the Avatar world simply due to sheer numbers of Eartherbends in the series. Most of the Earthbenders have very grounded, rational personalities. And they're very stubborn - especially Toph! I like how the creators matched the practitioners personalities to the element they control and then the matched that element to a style than was very grounded with strong forms. I think it gives the Earthbending in the series some visual creditability (as far as seeing the martial arts sort of mimic their element) and also a little bit of insight to the characters performing the art (how they think, how they might associate with others and the world around them). All in all I think Hung Gar and Earthbending might be the strongest visual pairing in the show - as far as actually seeing the element react to the performer's movements. There's defiantly nothing wasted with this martial art.

What Sifu Kisu has to say about it:


Check next Tuesday for the final installment: The martial arts behind Firebending!