tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32497589472656676332024-03-06T01:22:41.486-06:00SoccerDogIt's not the size of the dog in goal, it's the size of the goal in the dog. Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.comBlogger285125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-18712213396879520572014-02-03T20:19:00.000-06:002014-02-03T20:19:05.834-06:00(Not So) Frequently Asked QuestionsAfter trying (and failing) to write the first article for SoccerDog a couple of times. I decided I better explain what the site's all about.<br />
<br />
But bear with me cause as we all know, <a href="http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2002-01-21">first posts always suck.</a><br />
<br />
"What's this site about?"<br />
<br />
I wanted to start SoccerDog to explain soccer to those who are new to the game. I'm not great at analyzing strategy, but if you need to know how the amount of spots doled out for <a href="http://kspaz13.blogspot.com/2011/03/math-nerds-guide-to-eufa-5-year.html">Champions League is decided</a> I'm your man. So I figured I'd focus on explaining the weirder points of the game to the new fans, because I haven't seen a site dedicated to that yet, and it would have helped when I was learning about soccer.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm sure another question I'll get is "Why <b><i>Soccer</i></b>Dog?"<br />
<br />
I would assume the hypothetical people are asking Why not FootballDog? The reason for this is SoccerDog sounds better, and that the British invented both terms, and only started complaining about soccer being used when the NFL started getting popular. On this blog World Football will be refered to as Soccer, and American Football will be called Gridiron. Once they learn to share maybe we'll start using the other terms.<br />
<br />
"No, why SoccerDog?" </div>
<div>
<br />
Oh! Because we already had a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIOGEDife-4">great mascot</a>, and it seemed like such a waste not to use the name.<br />
<br />
We'll put up a proper FAQ page once real people start asking questions. But for now I hope you enjoy the blog, and hopefully I'll make this strange amazing game, a little easier to understand.<br />
<span id="goog_1418939814"></span><span id="goog_1418939815"></span></div>
Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-36552645935178054492013-06-11T16:29:00.000-06:002013-06-11T16:29:41.971-06:00Kspaz Kuick Look<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.smashbros.com/us/images/character/rockman/illust-modal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.smashbros.com/us/images/character/rockman/illust-modal.jpg" width="230" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think it's a buddy cop/road trip game. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
A couple things out of the way. Sorry for the lack of updates, I'm working some odd hours at my job, and my wife and I are looking for a new apartment, so I've been having trouble finding time to write.<br /><br />Next from E3 Nintendo announced a new <a href="http://www.smashbros.com/us/">Smash Bros. game both for the DS and the Wii U</a>. The link will take you to the official site with videos of the new character and some cool art. I don't want to buy another console but the idea of having <a href="http://www.smashbros.com/us/characters/mega_man.html">Mega Man</a> in Smash Bros makes me at least question it.<br />
<br />
EA announced Mirror's Edge 2, with a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB4ZZ-2xVWE">short video</a>. Didn't realize it had been nearly 5 years since the first one.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.gamespot.com/e3/skylanders-swap-force-6409841/">3rd Skylanders</a> game will swap players and be available on 7 systems. Haven't really played the 2nd one much, so probably won't worry about this, but I bet there will be a bunch of these on eBay come Christmastime.<br />
<br />
Also an <a href="http://www.gamespot.com/the-bureau-xcom-declassified/videos/the-bureau-xcom-declassified-origin-declassified-trailer-6408265/">X-Com prequel game.</a> And a new <a href="http://www.gamespot.com/e3/killer-instinct-6409830/">Killer Instinct</a>. What just happened? Did I do the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtkdo7bOmJc">time warp</a>? Is it the 90's again?<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.tqcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/WiiUVsPS4vsXboxOne-TQ-600x378.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="201" src="http://www.tqcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/WiiUVsPS4vsXboxOne-TQ-600x378.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pick your poison.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Stranger sent me <a href="http://www.pcgamer.com/2013/06/11/titanfall-e3-conference-trailers-show-in-game-mechs-explosions-and-mech-explosions/?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=emp">this video</a> on Facebook...I like big mechs, and I cannot lie.<br />
<br />
PlayStation and X-box released some more info, but someone else will be handling that can of worms.<br />
<br />
Those are what caught my eye although I saw several I didn't know the name of, but looked interesting. So what caught your eye from E3, and are you going toward one console, or are you a PC gamer?<br />
<br />Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-57114327871499546342013-05-29T22:08:00.002-06:002013-05-29T22:08:40.728-06:00Wait...it's Wednesday?...crap, crap, crap.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9l304sW3X1qg4c28.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9l304sW3X1qg4c28.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My reaction when I realized it wasn't Monday. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So my wife and I took a vacation over Memorial Day weekend. And then we took Tuesday off, I got sick, and long story short. I forgot it was already Wednesday and time to write a weekly post.<br />
<br />
Should I post about how there was <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/la-me-ln-disneyland-employee-arrested-explosion-20130529,0,518594.story">trouble in Toontown</a> (this time not involving <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSTL3AidX4o">Christopher Llyod</a>*)? No.<br />
<br />
Could I post about <a href="http://missnerdamerica.com/">Miss Nerd America?</a> I could but everything is pretty much there on the site.<br />
<br />
Or about how you can buy a wallet made from the<a href="http://store.srulirecht.com/collections/category/products/dork-whalet-is-sr116md"> foreskin of a whale</a>. No, but I do wonder if these are God's chosen whales.<br />
<br />
Hmm...I'll tell you what I'll be back with a better story later this week.<br />
<br />
*Spoilers: But the statute of whining about it has run out! Seriously the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=when+was+who+framed+roger+rabbit+released&oq=when+was+who+framed+roger+rabbit+re&aqs=chrome.1.57j0l3j62.7930j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8">25th anniversary is June 21st</a>.Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-86957224390666971482013-05-23T00:03:00.003-06:002013-05-23T00:03:18.641-06:00Calling all Geeks<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/which-type-of-geek-are-you/" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/geeks-poster.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Find yourself...with Geek Streak, and this handy poster.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Thanks to the Geeks who Read and the internet in general, we recently had our 60,000th page view. We also have had a fairly successful first month back, despite not posting any where near what we used to.<br />
<br />
And that's why I'm here today. Geek Streak is looking for a few geeky individuals who would be interested in writing articles for our site. If you're interested in something geeky and want to write about it, contact us.<br />
<br />
You can email me at Kspaz13 at gmail dot com.<br />
Hope to hear from you soon.Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-1269200706256229602013-05-22T01:15:00.001-06:002013-05-22T23:41:25.020-06:00Here's an Idea...<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/S1AeKCPjjAM/mqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/S1AeKCPjjAM/mqdefault.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The face of Idea Channel (center) and his<br />
co-hosts Philosophy (left) and Economics (right).</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr">
If the title for this post makes you think of the guy on the right. Then you probably already know about <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/pbsideachannel?feature=watch">PBS Idea Channel.</a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
If not...well, Idea Channel is a YouTube series where the host discusses such seemly bizarre topics as <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M26bDPKk-qs&list=PL69BD06CC757E1D61&index=22">What do Santa Clause and professional wrestling have in common</a>? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeIHH0XEs6E&list=PL69BD06CC757E1D61">Is Buying Call of Duty a Moral Choise</a>? And <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gdyc7BpKic0&list=PL69BD06CC757E1D61">Is Futurama the Best Argument Against Transhumanism</a>?<br />
<br />
Friends and family will probably not be surprised that I love this show. I love a great discussion, especially when it with two ideas so far removed as the WWE and Old Saint Nick.<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/0U3RE_NB0EA/0.jpg" height="266" style="clear: left; float: left;" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/0U3RE_NB0EA&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/0U3RE_NB0EA&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>The show is hosted by Mike Rugnetta a former host of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/KnowYourMeme">Know Your Meme</a>. Which is where he was working when approached by PBS about making a web series. He is a musician who lives in New York City, and is accused by the denizens of YouTube of talking to fast, and having magical facial hair (watch the Santa video if you need convincing).<br />
<br />
<br />
(Almost) Every Wednesday Mike and his unseen cohorts take us on strange mental exercises. With a fast mix of dialog, puns, and pop-culture references they might just make things like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2bAN9pPeiE">Surrealism</a> or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyfV5IsAi3Y">Economics</a> more palatable or at least easier to understand.<br />
<br />
Then on the next episode the questions and comments from the previous episode will be responded to and commented on. Thus not only helping to turn every show into an advertisement for the video before it, but also a conversation.<br />
<br />
It's one thing to respond to your fans via text, but to actually respond to a handful in next week's video gives commenters something to aim for and makes those who get a response feel connected. <br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/beJdVmiQijM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Idea Channel is just over a year old and as you can probably tell from the links and embedded videos alone their topics are numerous. Their most popular videos are generally related to pop culture (the top 4 are related to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Est3UNs-LIk">My Little Pony</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLK7RI_HW-E">Homestuck</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MVvkqbXiws">Adventure Time</a> and the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2bAN9pPeiE">Mario Brothers</a> (in that order)) but all the videos are worth a gander, And who knows? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Csjr8bXvPw">Maybe Doctor Who is a religion</a>.<br />
<br />
What do you guys think? Is Idea Channel one of your new favorites? Let us know in the comments. And yes I am ripping off their ending, so you should <a href="http://www.google.com/friendconnect/signin/home?st=e%3DAOG8GaBTeeMUXz%252BBj38dXNtapqBYwaP2X4VGUinIKA%252FI6k%252BzsyYWigZiEeQTCAG86GiMmktw%252FR3eOqv%252Bng4SRwqvD0sYAPRbmqLlwOzfUsODnC0q6kZbZstcbmbO9viSzgxLy2C3Zp%252BPdKxfQ33sjKbxJSqLa84nkAi5dcrfVhEc3puX80ZFD9dbY%252BDmZ9A%252BMqkFVKsrOlCC9PaY5jnpA6ItGMSIvxJUx9u%252B7lytMH6LLXvZLlPy0ZI%253D%26c%3Dpeoplesense&psinvite=&subscribeOnSignin=1">subscribe</a>. </div>
Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-84373322706007561472013-05-17T00:27:00.000-06:002013-05-17T00:27:41.647-06:00The Googlephone<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.technology-updates.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Samsung-Mesmerize-i500-Mobile-Phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="173" src="http://www.technology-updates.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Samsung-Mesmerize-i500-Mobile-Phone.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's hard to remember when my old <br />
phone looked this new.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Thanks to our old cell phone carrier leaving the greater St. Louis area. My wife and I were soon going to be without working cell phones. We finally selected a carrier and were all set to go and get Galaxy S-3's to be our next phones, because our S-1's* that we had had for a year and a half, had been pretty reliable and good for a first smartphone.<br />
<br />
We never got the S-3's. Why? Because of the <a href="http://www.google.com/nexus/4/">Nexus 4</a>.<br />
<br />
One of our up coming posters, said I should do a review about my new phone now, and then follow up in a few months when the shininess has worn off. So here are my (mostly) positives and (some) negatives about the Nexus 4.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn.androidtapp.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Samsung-Galaxy-S3-in-Sapphire-black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://cdn.androidtapp.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Samsung-Galaxy-S3-in-Sapphire-black.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Galaxy S-3 the phone I <br />
thought I wanted.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<u>The Good:</u><br />
- Amazing screen and resolution<br />
- Bigger screen, yet still fits in my pants pocket comfortably.<br />
- Cheaper then the Samsung Galaxy S-3.<br />
- Supposedly will get update to Android as they come out. <br />
- Super fast<br />
- Almost no bloatware.<br />
- Amazing 8MP camera (with built in panoramic mode).<br />
<br />
<u>The Bad:</u><br />
- No slot for micro SD card.<br />
- Battery is built in. (This has always been a sticking point with me and the iPhones)<br />
- Vibrate function is weak (as in I don't always feel it buzz).<br />
- Word online is that this phone maybe fragile, even for a smartphone.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://battellemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Nexus-4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="http://battellemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Nexus-4.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A new challenger has appeared!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<u><strike>The Ugly</strike></u> <u>The Weird:</u><br />
- Seems to be no option to turn up Vibration strength.<br />
- Seems to be more finicky about transferring files via USB (I transferred over my photos from my old phone, and they aren't showing up in my gallery.)<br />
- Had to download some apps just to get the option of opening files that my old phone had no problem with.<br />
- I seriously doubt it has an 18 hour battery life (that the salesmen promised) just based on my first week of usage.<br />
- Almost everything that comes pre-loaded is a Google app. If your not a Google fan this is not the phone for you.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/nexus-4.png?w=300" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="198" src="http://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/nexus-4.png?w=300" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All in all though, this is how I feel about it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Now I would suggest you take this review with a grain (...or more) of salt. Statements like super fast should be tempered with the fact that I was using a hobbled phone for the last 3-6 months while I waited to replace my old one.<br />
<br />
Also comments on screen resolution and amazing camera, keep in mind my previous phone came out in October of 2010. So I have a feeling anything we would have bought would have been breathtaking.<br />
<br />
Not to mention how many of The Weird section will disappear if I suddenly find the way to fix these problems. <br />
<br />
All in all I feel like I got a good phone for a great price, but isn't every piece of tech new and exciting for the first couple of months? Or will I still be happy after the honeymoon? Keep your eyes peeled for part 2 of the Nexus review.<br />
<br />
*The S-1 came out in Oct 2010. So you can tell how cutting edge we are, we bought phones which were around 2 years old.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-16425022728080887552013-05-14T23:21:00.001-06:002013-05-14T23:29:28.651-06:00Ginger, on The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_iIIdQwkw7gecfGJBTxtcIe6-GoyQ50AaARZIGqVwhwce0qJAQIkj4XKKsePYbUmwmCFv3JuT34330k-WH2zB7ivyyUSK3XCavZYuhAMHzu-x2iRG7RvmL7UWGGt-F5fe30batsUW7L47/s1600/the-time-travelers-wife.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_iIIdQwkw7gecfGJBTxtcIe6-GoyQ50AaARZIGqVwhwce0qJAQIkj4XKKsePYbUmwmCFv3JuT34330k-WH2zB7ivyyUSK3XCavZYuhAMHzu-x2iRG7RvmL7UWGGt-F5fe30batsUW7L47/s320/the-time-travelers-wife.jpg" width="209" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A beautiful cover to be sure.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Title:</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Time-Travelers-Wife-Audrey-Niffenegger/dp/015602943X/ref=la_B001JS2IL6_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1368587667&sr=1-2" target="_blank"><i>The Time Traveler's Wife</i></a><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Author:</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://audreyniffenegger.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Audrey Niffenegger</a><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Publisher</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">: Mac<span style="font-size: small;">Adam/Cage</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Published:</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>2003</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Format:</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Paperback</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Gr<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">ade:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><span style="color: red;">A</span><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></b><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Amazon Description:</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" />A dazzling novel in the most <span style="font-size: small;">nontraditional</span> fashion, this is the
remarkable story of Henry DeTamble, a dashing, adventuresome librarian
who travels involuntarily through time, and Clare Abshire, an artist
whose life takes a natural sequential course. Henry and Clare's
passionate love affair endures across a sea of time and captures the two
lovers in an impossibly romantic trap, and it is Audrey Niffenegger's
cinematic storytelling that makes the novel's unconventional chronology
so vibrantly triumphant.<br /><br />An enchanting debut and a spellbinding tale of fate and belief in the bonds of love, <i>The Time Traveler's Wife </i>is destined to captivate readers for years to come.<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">My Review:</b><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Never before have I had such a personal love/hate relationship with an author. Niffenegger is <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2009/0910/audrey_niffenegger_1008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2009/0910/audrey_niffenegger_1008.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Audrey Niffenegger, author</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
brilliant, and I have great respect for her as a writer<span style="font-size: small;">. S<span style="font-size: small;">o far I have</span> read t<span style="font-size: small;">wo of her <span style="font-size: small;">works - <i>The Time Traveler's Wife</i> and<i> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Her-Fearful-Symmetry-Audrey-Niffenegger/dp/1439169012/ref=la_B001JS2IL6_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1368587667&sr=1-6" target="_blank">Her <span style="font-size: small;">Fearful <span style="font-size: small;">S<span style="font-size: small;">ymmetry</span></span></span></a></i></span></span></span></span></span> <span style="font-size: small;">(might be reviewed at a l<span style="font-size: small;">at<span style="font-size: small;">er date) </span></span></span>- both<span style="font-size: small;"> of which are <span style="font-size: small;">written</span> superbly.</span> Her style is mesmerizing - beautiful and harsh all at once with no apologies.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Her <span style="font-size: small;">writing</span> itself is <span style="font-size: small;">so</span> extremely realistic<span style="font-size: small;"> -</span> </span>She crafts characters so incredibly human in their faults and merits that they feel like people you could know in real life. Not necessarily someone you would be close to, like a friend, but but someone you know in passing and only think of rarely. And this distance gives these characters a certain credibility - the detachment lending a certain amount of realism to their make believe lives. It's because you don't know them - can't know them - inside and out that they feel much more realistic in relation to yourself. It's the closest any author has come to making a character a person. <span style="font-size: small;">Also, H<span style="font-size: small;">iffenegger's <span style="font-size: small;">ability</span> to write </span>scenes and settings is <span style="font-size: small;">seldom <span style="font-size: small;">surpassed<span style="font-size: small;">. Each char<span style="font-size: small;">acter deals with real li<span style="font-size: small;">fe problems that are obviou<span style="font-size: small;">sly carefully selected and t<span style="font-size: small;">a<span style="font-size: small;">ilored</span> to that <span style="font-size: small;">character<span style="font-size: small;">, and the interactions dealing with those issues just add <span style="font-size: small;">to your belief in thei<span style="font-size: small;">r<span style="font-size: small;"> personal</span> world.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span id="goog_848926210"></span><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/"></a><span id="goog_848926211"></span><div style="text-align: left;">
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4y0T3luAShP1E59Gn9GSqwJ4nAxDQrNX1HKLx85gy3Ivj5aXwA0s4rjAYRrj5ZBMyCtrc1Lb2-oKYIWQXoTAz9td24BLRzyoPG-8P4UkFOYJwhPP_E2_ZRsQhxtEpDgdo_b-v_CXSKm27/s1600/love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4y0T3luAShP1E59Gn9GSqwJ4nAxDQrNX1HKLx85gy3Ivj5aXwA0s4rjAYRrj5ZBMyCtrc1Lb2-oKYIWQXoTAz9td24BLRzyoPG-8P4UkFOYJwhPP_E2_ZRsQhxtEpDgdo_b-v_CXSKm27/s200/love.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All you need is love. Right?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now, as<span style="font-size: small;"> far as this book in particular - I <span style="font-size: small;">actually have read it twice, and had<u> tw</u><span style="font-size: small;"><u>o completely different reactions</u> to it.<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">The fri<span style="font-size: small;">st time I read this book, I loved it. I completely sided with the <span style="font-size: small;">over all love <span style="font-size: small;">story and the <span style="font-size: small;">idea th<span style="font-size: small;">at love <span style="font-size: small;">can surpass</span> all<span style="font-size: small;"> o<span style="font-size: small;">bstacles</span>. Part of this reaction I believe has a lot <span style="font-size: small;">t</span>o do with the stage my l<span style="font-size: small;">i<span style="font-size: small;">fe was in when I read <span style="font-size: small;">it<span style="font-size: small;">. <span style="font-size: small;">I actually had just recently started dating my boyfriend (now husband) and we read the book together - it<span style="font-size: small;">'s one of his favorites. S<span style="font-size: small;">o, I was already incl<span style="font-size: small;">ined to like the book because it had a love<span style="font-size: small;"> story and <span style="font-size: small;">being <span style="font-size: small;">an 18 year old girl<span style="font-size: small;">, I</span> wanted to believe in happy (though <span style="font-size: small;">heart wrenching)</span> <span style="font-size: small;">endings</span> and forever love. I think <span style="font-size: small;">the<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">easiest</span> part <span style="font-size: small;">of the s<span style="font-size: small;">tory for me to connect t<span style="font-size: small;">o was Henry's <span style="font-size: small;">need for <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Claire</span> - he had to have her in his life or that life, <span style="font-size: small;">as he knew it, would fall apart.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> I think that sort of <span style="font-size: small;">obsession</span> is easily <span style="font-size: small;">to <span style="font-size: small;">label</span> as love when you are that young<span style="font-size: small;">, and therefore have fewer exp<span style="font-size: small;">eriances to relate to.</span></span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.motherhood-cafe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Depressed-woman1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="249" src="http://www.motherhood-cafe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Depressed-woman1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A life full of sadness is no life at all.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">The second time I read this book was later in my life, <span style="font-size: small;">around the age of 25 - </span>after I was married for a few years and I read it on <span style="font-size: small;">my own rather than with <span style="font-size: small;">my husband again. The second time <span style="font-size: small;">through I identified so strongly with <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Clarie - or at least the idea of Claire -</span> that the story al<span style="font-size: small;">most read like a horror novel. <span style="font-size: small;">I'm not sure if it was that fac<span style="font-size: small;">t</span> that I remembered some of what was going to happen to her, or my <span style="font-size: small;">connection of actually being a wife now m<span style="font-size: small;">yself, but all I could think of was Clair<span style="font-size: small;">e and how she was always - ALWAYS - just waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's a horrible way to l<span style="font-size: small;">ive your life and I personally could not come to ter<span style="font-size: small;">ms with a love story where the other person <span style="font-size: small;">(in this case<span style="font-size: small;">, Henry) would expect and actually want the <span style="font-size: small;">person they lo<span style="font-size: small;">ve to live that way.<span style="font-size: small;"> It was so heart<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">breaking</span> - I <span style="font-size: small;">can't remember <span style="font-size: small;">the last time a book made me cry <span style="font-size: small;">so much. Ex<span style="font-size: small;">cept for maybe the <span style="font-size: small;">first</span> time I read it with my husband - but of course the tears were for entirely <span style="font-size: small;">different reasons.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://alxa.ru/file/wallpaper/emotions_smile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://alxa.ru/file/wallpaper/emotions_smile.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Bottom line - would I <span style="font-size: small;">recommend</span> this book to someone else? Absolutely. <span style="font-size: small;">But I would make <span style="font-size: small;">damn</span> su<span style="font-size: small;">re t<span style="font-size: small;">he person I <span style="font-size: small;">recommend</span> this t<span style="font-size: small;">o is capable of dealing <span style="font-size: small;">with <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">whatever</span> feelings this <span style="font-size: small;">book might bes<span style="font-size: small;">tow upon them.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> And who knows - maybe I <span style="font-size: small;">will pick this up again later in life when I don't feel like so<span style="font-size: small;"> much <span style="font-size: small;">can be lo<span style="font-size: small;">st with each turn of the page.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Have you read this book? If so,<span style="font-size: small;"> what was your re<span style="font-size: small;">action? Let me know in<span style="font-size: small;"> the comments belo<span style="font-size: small;">w! :)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> Gingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18244086788067644018noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-66743755451643640622013-05-07T00:44:00.002-06:002013-05-22T23:48:01.132-06:00A Girl and her Eldritch Horrors<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAj99MevAlh_vcqkXiIKcaNFPVlCp1zdcCoGR7Ot9E67rI1g24gGsupJdMuzHKkQtFtvEXzo4aH7_9I2YIG0Gj4xINnCDewtKpOeYOoEDWDvoIdUr_lZmLcB0g_ZstvZ3w4qqDEEhoy2A/s320/they+bleed+pixels.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAj99MevAlh_vcqkXiIKcaNFPVlCp1zdcCoGR7Ot9E67rI1g24gGsupJdMuzHKkQtFtvEXzo4aH7_9I2YIG0Gj4xINnCDewtKpOeYOoEDWDvoIdUr_lZmLcB0g_ZstvZ3w4qqDEEhoy2A/s320/they+bleed+pixels.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See cute and gruesome are not mutually exclusive.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So for the last couple months I've been trying to tell everyone I know who is into video gaming to check out one particular game.<br />
<br />
They Bleed Pixels.<br />
<br />
It's hard to explain this game though. At the same times it's gruesome and cute, frustrating and fun, colorful and dark (both in story and art).<br />
<br />
This game is the story of an unnamed girl who while at a Victorian home for troubled girls picks up a bleeding book that slowly changes her into a clawed and purple skinned <strike>monstrosity</strike> little girl.<br />
<br />
She's then plunged into dreams where she has to battle creatures and survive traps and terrain of blades and spikes.<br />
<br />
Every review says this game is like Super Meat Boy but with a fighting element, which is fair. However I never enjoyed Super Meat Boy the way I have They Bleed Pixels. I know I'm speaking blasphemy. Bear with me.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://calmdowntom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/tbp001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://calmdowntom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/tbp001.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You got to admit she seems to be taking it well.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The art while simple is perfectly suited to this game nothing distracts from where your focus should be. ON SURVIVAL. The music is catchy and the backgrounds really do look like they are not of Earth, yet none of these elements distracts your focus.<br />
<br />
The one-button combat takes a while to get used to, but really is all you need for any situation. Figuring out how is the fun part.<br />
<br />
Be warned however because this game is quite the taskmaster. I can't recall how many times I thought well that's as far as I'm going to be able to make it, so I'd focus on achievements in the first couple stages and come back to my problems spot later. Low and behold suddenly I was better and could get to the next area. I could advance! Even if it was at a snail's pace.<br />
<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/7X42GIOfuYo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
Every time I thought I was stuck this pattern would happen. Currently I have beaten the game, and the bonus levels and have 111 of the 126 achievements.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.hardcoregamer.com/2012/09/05/review-they-bleed-pixels/">One review</a> said "<em style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #474747; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">They Bleed Pixels</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #474747; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> will make you feel like a magician with a gamepad." </span>Factual statement, rarely have felt more accomplishment about a video game.<br />
<br />
While the difficulty is fiendish, the save system keeps you from losing all your sanity. Being able to plop down a save point (after killing a couple enemies or collecting enough blood droplets) means that one only needs to get a little bit further to advance. This system reduces, (but doesn't eliminate) getting stuck and killed at the same area over and over again. Plus the game teaches you which areas make for better save points when you revisit a stage later.<br />
<br />
I picked up this game for $3.39 after Christmas, it usually is $10. If you like crazy platformers don't wait pick this game up. You can wait for a sale but I've put 60 hours on this game since Christmas. I'm not sure if I'll get those last 15 achievements but we'll see...how long my patience holds out. If your not sure, then wait for the sale, or put it on your wishlist. This game is not for everyone but it something everyone should try at least once.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.vgblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/15/tbp015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://www.vgblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/15/tbp015.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This room will haunt your dreams. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Also one piece of spoiler-y advice. DON'T show your significant other the last stage's cinematic. *SPOILER* My wife saw all the other little monster girls and has been bothering me that I need to save them. So if your reading this <a href="http://www.spookysquid.com/">Spooky Squid Games</a>, I need a DLC to save the other girls my wife demands it, and honestly I just want some more levels.<br />
<br />
<i>Update: I'm now up to 122/126 on achievements. </i><br />
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Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-68023863710790381902013-05-01T13:07:00.001-06:002013-05-24T08:11:35.739-06:00It's gonna be The Future soon. So if you've been around the internet you've probably seen <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8m5d0_everything-is-amazing-and-nobody-i_fun#.UYFd6LWURZc">Everything is amazing and nobody is happy</a> by Louis CK (skip to 2:15 for the relevant part although it's all pretty awesome), and <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAUXZsHrOtH9QtudeJHo9InkG5AcunSxJbM5JKMnMVKsHaY1Vdcz6KIc0JzXtZzrzTghHh7LxUMMlEYipRg4thXygnTytbvobhP1LWaxsgkJLnMLz0RvPajC1MYA_WBYTZL8IXbLAqSseb/s1640/pictures+of+cats+and+arguing+with+strangers.png">Explaining cell phones to the 1950's</a>.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS96VGkOaSH7pCcr2afT_RAyVKck90Z8wwZ4YGhKZctlnFtG70U4ithiMYDME322nw9egq_-efV59Dz-Xw0n7vb2lPv8keqtCntZh_GYPKyHfH3MzKc_Qq31geajfhHYhg5VMSaEl3BhY/s1600/Back+to+the+future--time+circuit+board.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS96VGkOaSH7pCcr2afT_RAyVKck90Z8wwZ4YGhKZctlnFtG70U4ithiMYDME322nw9egq_-efV59Dz-Xw0n7vb2lPv8keqtCntZh_GYPKyHfH3MzKc_Qq31geajfhHYhg5VMSaEl3BhY/s320/Back+to+the+future--time+circuit+board.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not to mention the Cubs victory in 2015.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Forget the 1950's, try explaining Netflix to the 1980's.<br />
<br />
Kspaz 2013: I have a Blockbuster inside of my computer that can show movies on my television (without a cord), and they never are out of stock. I pay $7 a month and I can watch as many movies as I want.<br />
<br />
Kspaz 1989: *mouth agape*<br />
<br />
You know what the biggest gripe I hear about Netflix? Lack of selection. What these people probably mean is one specific movie that they want to watch isn't on there right now. <a href="http://first-world-problems.com/">First world problems</a>.<br />
<br />
I can watch television from other countries for free. I wish I had had this technology when I had been studying foreign languages.<br />
<br />
I can keep in touch with friends no matter how far away they move. Literally, if you had a friend on the International Space Station you can Skype or Facebook them. Short of the moon, nobody has gotten further away then that. Well, unless you're friends with the Mars Rovers.<br />
<br />
I can buy really amazing video games for 1/5 to 1/10 of the price new games used to cost. Plus the developers build extra content that's either free or less then dollar. I can't remember the last time I bought a game for over $20.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.pandawhale.com/47264-Bill-and-Ted-whoa-gif-Qkdx.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://img.pandawhale.com/47264-Bill-and-Ted-whoa-gif-Qkdx.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Strange things are a foot. Not just at Circle K. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
We have the entirety of human knowledge in our pockets. And yes we use them to look at cat pictures and argue with people.<br />
<br />
Don't look now people, but the future is here. The fact that we aren't constantly amazed by the technology that surrounds us...well amazes me.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Updated: Fixed typos that my wife pointed out</span>Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-90367861050218388882013-03-25T21:52:00.003-06:002013-03-25T21:52:43.345-06:00We're Getting the Blog Back Together<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://craigslemonade.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451c74b69e2010536019461970c-320pi" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://craigslemonade.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451c74b69e2010536019461970c-320pi" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small; text-align: start;">Not exactly a mission from god. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So no change on the job front which was my reasoning for not blogging anymore, but I missed it.<br /><br />So I'm back from my self exile. Some of the others and I have lined up some interesting things and they'll be coming soon.<br /><br />Thanks for your patience. See you soon.Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-70510300062749915582011-10-31T22:24:00.000-06:002011-10-31T22:24:24.864-06:00Games You Should Know About... My Favorite Horror Video GamesIt's the night of Halloween. Let's say, like me, you're alone in your home. Your friends are nowhere to be found and you've got nothing planned. You're too old for trick-or-treating, haunted attractions are only fun with a group of friends, parties are full of loud, obnoxious, drunk people. What do you do? You could kick back and enjoy a horror movie (there's no shortage of them on television this night) or you could take a more active approach and bring the horror to life in your living room. No, I'm not talking about summoning ghosts and demons (I don't terribly recommend that, unless you've got a death wish, Charles Bronson). I'm talking about horror video games. Why watch a bunch of actors get butchered when you can play as a character who narrowly misses a horrific death time after time. With a full harvest of games perfect for Halloween, you may have a tough time picking the perfect one. If that's the case, allow me to show you some of my favorite horror and Halloween themed games. Many of them are available for the XBOX 360 (through download, even), while others may require you to dust off something slightly older. So grab your contoller, turn off the lights, and dive into some digital terror.<br />
<br />
Since this is "Games You Should Know About...," I guess I won't talk about some of the more obvious choices. Everyone should know about the <i>Silent Hill</i> games, so I'm not going to mention them. Though I did enjoy <i>Shattered Memories</i>, for those of you who refuse to play a <i>SH</i> game not made by Team Silent. The same goes for the <i>Left 4 Dead</i> games. Sure, they're great, but most of us have already played them. Besides, you're alone... all alone. Not even your online buddies are here to save you, which kind of puts a damper on a team game like <i>L4D</i>. Let's talk about some games most of you haven't played (at least, in a while).<br />
<br />
First off, let's do an honorable mention. There's a new <i>Pinball FX 2</i> table that came out recently called <i>Paranormal</i>. The story of this pinball table is that a paranormal investigator is... well, investigating all these strange phenomena. Missions include defeating the Jersey Devil, finding the Lock Ness Monster, tracking down UFOs, etc. This may sound like it's inspired by <i>The X Files</i>, but it seems to take more of a cue from the 1974 TV show <i>Kolchak: The Night Stalker</i> (which, in turn, was one of the inspirations for <i>The X Files</i>). It's a fun table, even outside of Halloween, but you should really check it out right now because it's absolutely free for a limited time. That's right, you have until this Wednesday, November 2, to download this table for free. Add in the fact that the <i>Pinball FX 2</i> application is free and you have a very good reason to pick both up (if you haven't, already).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIgbF_nDsPjce6vvoER8VXdFkwUAvzcD7hJongfKk8zEoVxMhKXtVX9OlF6HZEfE9Pl7F2Dh6kcXFPgIppNWgjWWJ6Nees526SIY1zFw-2hPf5JVvbPlx4g3igzkfuSMTZ_MdD_pbqJuw/s1600/AlanWake1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIgbF_nDsPjce6vvoER8VXdFkwUAvzcD7hJongfKk8zEoVxMhKXtVX9OlF6HZEfE9Pl7F2Dh6kcXFPgIppNWgjWWJ6Nees526SIY1zFw-2hPf5JVvbPlx4g3igzkfuSMTZ_MdD_pbqJuw/s400/AlanWake1.jpg" width="282" /></a></div><br />
So let's start with something fairly recent. Remedy Entertainment, the guys who made the first two <i>Max Payne</i> games, teamed up with Microsoft to create a riveting psychological thriller of a game, <i>Alan Wake</i>. You play as the eponymous Wake, a successful writer who has hit a pretty bad slump. Your wife takes you to the quiet town of Bright Falls, nestled in the wilderness of Washington state for some rest and relaxation. Of course, things aren't always what they seem and you find yourself running for your life in the dark woods that surround Bright Falls like an encroaching horde. It's up to you to save your wife, uncover the dark secret of this town, and make it out alive. While it's been a long while since I've played <i>Max Payne</i>, <i>Alan Wake's</i> gameplay feels similar to the PS2 crime thriller. As a third person action game, you will have lots of guns and ammo to take out your enemies, but it's light that is your most important weapon. Without it, the enemy is invincible.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2LvYFWqXCFImw89JnIK08IRsV-YMlO0VXq7nGztZFYMlo744iXbxUVBhZi2Ckpvm6FMpQ2n46C90YN8b52YNGFQFMFIKkGR4YMsjh-7SMf1oNKE_4Eho3NK6hBzmuQExsYiQJa0E46oo/s1600/AlanWake2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2LvYFWqXCFImw89JnIK08IRsV-YMlO0VXq7nGztZFYMlo744iXbxUVBhZi2Ckpvm6FMpQ2n46C90YN8b52YNGFQFMFIKkGR4YMsjh-7SMf1oNKE_4Eho3NK6hBzmuQExsYiQJa0E46oo/s1600/AlanWake2.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>This will become all too familiar sight, as you will need to</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>constantly dodge enemies to survive. </b></div><br />
The game was inspired by many different sources, including the works of Stephen King, John Carpenter's <i>In the Mouth of Madness</i>, and TV shows like <i>Twin Peaks</i> and <i>Lost</i>. The game is done in an episodic format to make it feel like a TV show (a show like this would probably be on Showtime). There are only six episodes, so it's not very long, but there are two DLC packages that extend that.<br />
<br />
Gameplay is good, the story is riveting, and the music is well done, including some songs by Finnish rock group Poets of the Fall (who also made a song for <i>Max Payne 2</i>). I wouldn't say that the game is scary, but there were some stressful moments while fighting and dodging up to seven enemies at once. It's good if you're looking for more of a thriller with a good story and good characters.<br />
<br />
Speaking of <i>Twin Peaks</i>, our next game was heavily, I mean <b>heavily</b>, inspired by the TV show. At first glance, <i>Deadly Premonition</i>, seems like some kind of joke, with its inferior graphics and control. But quite a few people have realized that there is a lot to enjoy in this game. Imagine if <i>Silent Hill</i>, <i>Shenmue</i>, and <i>Grand Theft Auto</i> had an unholy baby. You play as Francis York Morgan, a quirky FBI agent who feels himself coming close to solving a string of serial murders when he investigates the violent death of Anna Graham in the quiet town of Greenvale, nestled in the wilderness of Washington state (notice a pattern, here?) There's plenty to do in this game, whether it's tracking down the elusive killer, or the cornucopia of side missions scattered all over the town.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBschUEpuIupE_4oedz4xTjHljABRWjbJVKVLBBNcE9DQI2GBTuoRHosI0MXcCNl6_7jX_nQmZwLKM8M7O-MXpSdrtw7Vk0rmprRZYOcH5PfIrYDXTGMlZ33Hz6JepY76sYPZx7S0qmO4/s1600/DeadlyPremonition1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBschUEpuIupE_4oedz4xTjHljABRWjbJVKVLBBNcE9DQI2GBTuoRHosI0MXcCNl6_7jX_nQmZwLKM8M7O-MXpSdrtw7Vk0rmprRZYOcH5PfIrYDXTGMlZ33Hz6JepY76sYPZx7S0qmO4/s400/DeadlyPremonition1.jpg" width="283" /></a></div><br />
One thing I will mention that ties <i>Alan Wake</i> and this game together with <i>Twin Peaks</i> is the presence of a kooky lady in the town that cradles an unlikely object in their arms who may know more than people think. In <i>Twin Peaks</i>, it was the Log Lady; in <i>Alan Wake</i>, it was the Lamp Lady; and in <i>Deadly Premonition</i>, it was the Pot Lady. Seriously, there's this woman who walks about town with a casserole pot in her hands and she keeps complaining that her pot is getting too cold (despite the fact that she insists on taking it with her everywhere she goes). There's side missions where you pick her up off of the street and drive as fast as you can to her house before her pot gets cold (no foolin', this is an actual side quest). This game is full of strange, quirky humor like this, which is a big reason why it's so much fun. Also, a lot of the characters are so great that you get to feel very familiar with them. You see them on a daily basis, make chit-chat with them, and gain information and insight from them. Eventually, you feel like your part of the town (of course, the town goes to hell toward the end of the game.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcCVzlXYEqUCWgEXXCsGa9tKWsOcxjOhXsSrbBFzfZVGZVeYkGiHMgvhHgplWtsTbjOojFRdXLEKM7zm9R1qyJ5i0KM2brGwT1IGOxAScSs5IJEKvzRQUDwK6lEmr0-GLQQ44bq96RDxc/s1600/DeadlyPremonition2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcCVzlXYEqUCWgEXXCsGa9tKWsOcxjOhXsSrbBFzfZVGZVeYkGiHMgvhHgplWtsTbjOojFRdXLEKM7zm9R1qyJ5i0KM2brGwT1IGOxAScSs5IJEKvzRQUDwK6lEmr0-GLQQ44bq96RDxc/s1600/DeadlyPremonition2.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Combat in <i>Deadly Premonition</i> may remind</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>some people of <i>Resident Evil 4</i></b>.</div><br />
While <i>Alan Wake</i> wasn't very scary, <i>Deadly Premonition</i> has more of a creepy vibe to it. It's not as disturbing as the Silent Hill games, but I do get an uneasy feeling shooting these bizarre monsters that walk toward you backwards with their upper bodies bent backwards toward you while they try to force their hands down your throat. It's definitely an odd game, but it's one worth playing. This is, without a doubt, the biggest cult classic on the XBOX 360.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhICfEq0VsoPJQV-QABoAtDAjpFhtKyFfeJc1IjWMQ-UnKgvQlpiIwlK1CIYH4uJnDOBdxjTQvB7iiUX690ZTjbPTAwNDMuMpO5gWUL4LWSkXzqowRCihyphenhyphenjWvDjY7PfdMw45B-XagYaOQE/s1600/FatalFrame1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhICfEq0VsoPJQV-QABoAtDAjpFhtKyFfeJc1IjWMQ-UnKgvQlpiIwlK1CIYH4uJnDOBdxjTQvB7iiUX690ZTjbPTAwNDMuMpO5gWUL4LWSkXzqowRCihyphenhyphenjWvDjY7PfdMw45B-XagYaOQE/s400/FatalFrame1.jpg" width="281" /></a></div><br />
Now, if you were to ask me what the scariest game I ever played was, I would only have two words for you: <i>Fatal Frame</i>. While I'm not an easy guy to scare, I have been known to feel the chill of terror while playing a video game. No other game has scared the crap out of me quite like <i>Fatal Frame</i> on the PS2 (or XBOX, if you're so inclined). While three of the games have been released in the US, I'm primarily talking about the first one, for that's the one I played. <br />
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Part of the reason this game is so scary is because you are completely alone in an old, haunted mansion in Japan. In a lot of other survival horror games, you get a break from the terror when you meet up with other innocent people (of course, <i>Silent Hill</i> has you meeting with some pretty fucked up individuals). In the first <i>Fatal Frame</i>, you don't run into other people. It's just you and a house full of tormented ghosts. Your only defense is a mystical camera that drains the spirit energy of the ghosts until they dissipate into oblivion.<br />
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Unfortunately, you have to switch to the camera aim mode, which makes you move extremely slow while trying to keep the ghosts in your viewfinder. This means that you are unable to dodge the ghosts as they lunge at you, howling and tormenting you (especially the blind ghost - you would think that having no eyes would make it hard for her to attack you - you'd be wrong). Let's just say you may never be able to turn off the lights ever again.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitEQOtNPv6m9zVscoUDNshO7IkIO0mbSPc7eMnhNpRiZUjAdmzk0syQNsfoIWFktc8wUTMyqfOOnRxuZaw3ZgC3k8J1cdpLQSMFj4T-S0SnhvWhbWmlCVQE2e3bkpBHHf89UDUIWjY8QI/s1600/FatalFrame2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitEQOtNPv6m9zVscoUDNshO7IkIO0mbSPc7eMnhNpRiZUjAdmzk0syQNsfoIWFktc8wUTMyqfOOnRxuZaw3ZgC3k8J1cdpLQSMFj4T-S0SnhvWhbWmlCVQE2e3bkpBHHf89UDUIWjY8QI/s400/FatalFrame2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Gah! Take the picture, quickly! Do it! NOW!!!</b></div><br />
If you're not interested in scaring yourself so bad, you need adult diapers, with the <i>Fatal Frame</i> games, you may be more inclined in something more old school. No retro game is perfect for Halloween than one from the <i>Castlevania</i> series. Of course there's plenty to choose from, but my favorites would probably be <i>Super Castlevania IV</i> for the SNES, <i>Castlevania Bloodlines</i> for the Genesis, or <i>Symphony of the Night</i> for the PS1 (which is also available for download on XBOX 360). If you have a Nintendo Wii, you can pick up <i>Castlevania: The Adventure Rebirth</i>, which is a remade version of the first <i>Castlevania</i> game for the Game Boy. I didn't really have anything else to say about <i>Castlevania</i>, I just like playing those games around Halloween. Just thought I'd mention it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjErVL147_LRwvvLbS9PjOHw78cUeMbsCCBy2GDV4qOnNGGQoogYIMqRz1lSYJVPymxTVA5jZNFUdKFPSHt9qLHle3SqOFrXVa8e6kiq7OeixM_gjwvc4oncb6K9Pv3oby2TlYIs9ncoM4/s1600/Ghostbusters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjErVL147_LRwvvLbS9PjOHw78cUeMbsCCBy2GDV4qOnNGGQoogYIMqRz1lSYJVPymxTVA5jZNFUdKFPSHt9qLHle3SqOFrXVa8e6kiq7OeixM_gjwvc4oncb6K9Pv3oby2TlYIs9ncoM4/s400/Ghostbusters.jpg" width="282" /></a></div><br />
But, seriously, if you're looking for a more humorous game for Halloween, there's only one group you can call: Ghostbusters. <i>Ghostbusters: The Video Game</i> was released two years ago, but it's great fun for all Ghostbusters fans (and, let's be honest, who doesn't want to bust some ghosts?). The game stars the iconic cast of the movies (sans Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis) in a new adventure during the early nineties and was written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. You play as the new rookie of the team and prototype tester of all the new toys as you help the other Ghostbusters defeat Gozer once and for all. Great third person action and a lot of classic Ghostbusters humor make this a game worth playing (don't even bother with <i>Sanctum of Slime</i>, it sucks).<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ojr5Fy_Vl9_AbpwX1fMeF5Q2FaC1Jh3cs9uD-J_w5RMPq9QoX51w2Sc0BtIOw6Q_TL8vSOPJBT8UmnJZOPAMHVd6Q-U-aBVUn7TyT4TDXpuJO2Odcde_ZzlGheZT-EQUKe2jliVATgs/s1600/CostumeQuest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ojr5Fy_Vl9_AbpwX1fMeF5Q2FaC1Jh3cs9uD-J_w5RMPq9QoX51w2Sc0BtIOw6Q_TL8vSOPJBT8UmnJZOPAMHVd6Q-U-aBVUn7TyT4TDXpuJO2Odcde_ZzlGheZT-EQUKe2jliVATgs/s400/CostumeQuest.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br />
Finally, for those who miss those good old days where we dressed up in shoddy costumes, walked through neighborhoods for candy, and spent the next week on a non-stop sugar high, there's <i>Costume Quest</i>, an RPG where you play a kid who must try to save your sibling while going through your neighborhood, the mall, a country town, and the underworld trying to save Halloween from a group of goblins and a disgruntled witch. While the game is not very long, it will only take you a handful of hours to beat the game, Double Fine (creators of awesome games like <i>Psychonauts</i> and <i>Brütal Legend</i>) made a game that completely captures the spirit of Halloween for children. It's a testament to childhood imagination and a love letter to Halloween that every kid-at-heart should play. And when you're done with the game, you can pick up the DLC which makes the logical jump to the next big holiday after Halloween (no, not Thanksgiving - who would make a video game about Thanksgiving?). By the way, do goblins really celebrate Christmas?<br />
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Okay, so those are my favorite games to play for Halloween. Of course, by the time I finished writing this, Halloween is almost over - go figure. Well, there's nothing that says you have to wait for Halloween to play these games. Don't tell me you don't play horror games on All Saints Day. What the hell is wrong with you?<br />
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Until next time, Happy Halloween for the next 38 minutes.Anacronushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15835168025096871205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-11039065110990994132011-10-30T01:06:00.002-06:002011-10-30T01:06:41.787-06:00Dungeons of Time - Horror Edition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNx_J1zwDr0Zr7tIgaXB6oKaIavHy7BuqvYxzFTCwAMbKejyPiBp2BPDa54_J74V4Mb36oA2Z7TCrky7k39kJQdZeTznu8a5iEYLKfN7x86wAYXYRwkTooqEQasqVHe11NcB1g-UtCDKA/s1600/DungeonsOfTime05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNx_J1zwDr0Zr7tIgaXB6oKaIavHy7BuqvYxzFTCwAMbKejyPiBp2BPDa54_J74V4Mb36oA2Z7TCrky7k39kJQdZeTznu8a5iEYLKfN7x86wAYXYRwkTooqEQasqVHe11NcB1g-UtCDKA/s1600/DungeonsOfTime05.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Okay, so I've been MIA for a few weeks. I was on a forced hiatus due to two factors: my new job and one vicious fucking cold. Between the two, I didn't have the time or energy to make blog posts. But, since my favorite holiday, Halloween, is fast approaching, I had to have some sort of horror post for the occasion.<br />
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Now some people celebrate Halloween by going to parties or taking their kids out trick-or-treating, perhaps watching horror flicks on television, which that's perfectly fine. But what if that's not your cup of witch's brew? Maybe you want to have a few friends over for a special game night. Now, there are plenty of options for tabletop gaming for Halloween. If you like board games, I seriously recommend <a href="http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=ah/prod/houseonthehill"><i>Betrayal at House on the Hill</i></a> and <a href="http://www.twilightcreationsinc.com/en/boardgames/zombies.html"><i>Zombies!!!</i></a> Let's say, though, for the sake of argument, that you have a copy of <i>Savage Worlds</i> just begging for you to utilize for some All Hallow's Eve gaming. You're in luck, for this RPG has plenty of horror supplements that allow you to create the horror experience of your dreams. So let's take a look at the treasury of terror for <i>Savage Worlds</i>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_40DIJr-5kcc79aQ7RyaogPF0FGu9OBF-TuJ2DMXA6Y1D60wLZFb9V8C2EeSCjXWpWr8VLOkjQ6bmM8qghaCWPW50YyalL2XH03Lty2ob7oDnO9W6GYV6Z2zHZJspKYTqigb_1xKwsWY/s1600/TheWildHunt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_40DIJr-5kcc79aQ7RyaogPF0FGu9OBF-TuJ2DMXA6Y1D60wLZFb9V8C2EeSCjXWpWr8VLOkjQ6bmM8qghaCWPW50YyalL2XH03Lty2ob7oDnO9W6GYV6Z2zHZJspKYTqigb_1xKwsWY/s1600/TheWildHunt.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
Let's say you don't have a lot of time and money to put together a campaign or you have players who've never played Savage Worlds before. Is there a horror filled Savage Worlds adventure that has all the components you need (including pre-generated characters and figure flats) for free? In short, yes. Just download <a href="http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product_info.php?products_id=93158&filters=0_0_1600_0_0"><i>The Wild Hunt</i></a>, which was the test drive adventure Pinnacle put out for this year's Free RPG Day. The adventure takes a group of unrelated people thrown into a sleepy town that is under the thrall of a malicious spirit and his legion of zombies. It's completely self contained - all you need is the Savage Worlds rulebook, and is perfect for a quick one shot with little preparation.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRtqb64J4IRPyKYMS8sQvwV5rVhdi6QU2idvdstCRhoF46LCzMqmKcD67XUkbd3hWIX1CCzK7Jr5RgS5bx4KSvdho8xwBXoCdKjc6dr4R56nhyphenhyphen6Q-OHnPKjFGmHxI0U7fAMLXq_QvH71U/s1600/WarOfDead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRtqb64J4IRPyKYMS8sQvwV5rVhdi6QU2idvdstCRhoF46LCzMqmKcD67XUkbd3hWIX1CCzK7Jr5RgS5bx4KSvdho8xwBXoCdKjc6dr4R56nhyphenhyphen6Q-OHnPKjFGmHxI0U7fAMLXq_QvH71U/s1600/WarOfDead.jpg" /></a></div><br />
If your players have already experienced the terror of <i>The Wild Hunt</i> and crave more zombie armageddon, look no further than Daring Entertainment's <a href="http://www.daringentertain.com/"><i>War of the Dead</i></a>, which is a serial adventure of surviving a zombie outbreak. So far, three chapters have been released, covering almost 40 adventures, with a fourth chapter coming soon. <i>War of the Dead</i> is perfect for zombie fans looking for a long campaign.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOaCT2YT1QzjlEQsyOOo7JQJ8-whhqgkZ6s0oYbNPzkw_d-gprFEhXwx3pGkYTkmnh7UKISj9j46UBd3WkcMXxy-p6rrxDUB2NKpGZHCKHC8ZbH7OnEl8qzU1TW8GO8zAoU5dDuJe0sUQ/s1600/RealmsOfCthulhu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOaCT2YT1QzjlEQsyOOo7JQJ8-whhqgkZ6s0oYbNPzkw_d-gprFEhXwx3pGkYTkmnh7UKISj9j46UBd3WkcMXxy-p6rrxDUB2NKpGZHCKHC8ZbH7OnEl8qzU1TW8GO8zAoU5dDuJe0sUQ/s1600/RealmsOfCthulhu.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Perhaps survival horror is not your bag. Perhaps you wish to subject your players to inevitable terror, death, and madness when they encounter the star born horrors from the works of H. P. Lovecraft. Then you should not hesitate to pick up <i>Realms of Cthulhu</i> from <a href="http://realityblurs.com/wordpress/">Reality Blurs</a>. While the <i>Call of Cthulhu</i> RPG has been terrorizing players for decades, <i>Realms of Cthulhu</i> brings the minions of the Elder Gods to <i>Savage Worlds</i>. Whether you play in the classic era of the 1920s - 1930s or a more modern setting, you'll find plenty of cultists, forbidden texts, and creatures that defy human logic to add to your campaign. If you want to add more of an espionage element to your Lovecraftian horror (or to any modern horror campaign setting) you can also find plenty of use from Reality Blurs' latest (and long developed) setting, <i>Agents of Oblivion</i>. Many have said that you can create many different styles of campaigns, from an occult version of James Bond, to <i>X-Files</i> or <i>Men in Black</i>, which makes this product extremely versatile. Check out both of these titles.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxlITSzVHbGP1eML3nmxCRCcEpdWY9tOGaK8cOz-XKatc1c6xy51gYB7p3RqRdoJkvnzi_Ql1lk1dOlTrUa5CHsirsfP9l7hV9CNTNV_-UY8dNvvcm-U9dIuDMSZPdECOh-RLJw2xETKE/s1600/Rippers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxlITSzVHbGP1eML3nmxCRCcEpdWY9tOGaK8cOz-XKatc1c6xy51gYB7p3RqRdoJkvnzi_Ql1lk1dOlTrUa5CHsirsfP9l7hV9CNTNV_-UY8dNvvcm-U9dIuDMSZPdECOh-RLJw2xETKE/s1600/Rippers.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Then again, your players may be less interested in monster investigating and more on monster hunting. If they also would like some Victoriana with their horror, then Pinnacle's <i>Rippers</i> is perfect. Imagine if the movie <i>Van Helsing</i> didn't suck, and you have something close to <i>Rippers</i>. Player take the role of Victorian era ladies and gentlemen of various nationalities and social strata who live a double life. By day, the go about their normal business. By night, they hunt the servants of a sinister organization known only as the Cabal. They gained the name Rippers from their use of Rippertech, which infuses the powers of the monsters they hunt into their bodies to give them an even playing field. However, as Nietzsche once said, "he who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster."<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo8Xe4XOq9gBI96uEuvO91h12yYPtwy6-GB7eUenz32J4SwzJh80VAYmoaMj4XPmwyqh_jI9d42lG4-3L_rotVzkcChUlWJ4N5_iA-SBZ4GI27sD0vHgTLlhAEQQQF8NDDGzGcEwXQyG8/s1600/HorrorCompanion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo8Xe4XOq9gBI96uEuvO91h12yYPtwy6-GB7eUenz32J4SwzJh80VAYmoaMj4XPmwyqh_jI9d42lG4-3L_rotVzkcChUlWJ4N5_iA-SBZ4GI27sD0vHgTLlhAEQQQF8NDDGzGcEwXQyG8/s1600/HorrorCompanion.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Regardless of which horror campaign you wish to use, any Savage Worlds gamemaster can make use of the brand new <i>Horror Companion</i>, which replaces the <i>Horror Toolkits</i> from the old edition. This handy book allows you to improve your games with new systems, tables, spells and gadgets, horror races for players (including one I've been interested in, the dhampyr), and other tools.<br />
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If you're planning on running a horror adventure for Halloween, or any other time, any of these products are a great idea. If you're interested in picking them up, make your way over to DriveThruRPG.com. You'll find them by clicking <i>Savage Worlds</i> in the Rule System drop down menu or typing them in the search bar. Hope you and your friends have a happy and haunted game session this Halloween.<br />
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If you're not the kind of person who prefers a little solo gaming, don't worry. I'll bring to light some of my favorite horror and Halloween video games tomorrow.Anacronushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15835168025096871205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-10545785299997315032011-10-13T00:37:00.002-06:002011-10-13T00:40:37.224-06:00Flick Picks 28: Frozen In Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydtZG_bw4mgCHK045BWeIi-IIeuRtsdal28OtEx8yUqsuzYtDHVDUvG109yiCsD7diAx-iBuRmVmYCnxDEjbPYiAB82lf9Al_oeb-ZRzLZCrhyphenhyphenH5-vokL51cOWgoty-HVVXgmOe_L9yA/s1600/85921.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjydtZG_bw4mgCHK045BWeIi-IIeuRtsdal28OtEx8yUqsuzYtDHVDUvG109yiCsD7diAx-iBuRmVmYCnxDEjbPYiAB82lf9Al_oeb-ZRzLZCrhyphenhyphenH5-vokL51cOWgoty-HVVXgmOe_L9yA/s320/85921.png" width="226" /></a></div>
Hello, Streakers! Boog here once more, with another Flick Pick: A made for TV movie released in 2000, maybe 2001 called <a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/frozen_in_fear/trailers/">Frozen In Fear</a>. Except at one point it was called <i>The Flying Dutchman</i>. SPOLIERS!!!!!<br />
Which makes absolutely no sense because there isn't anything ghostlike, or nautical involved, but one character does have an obsession with the operatic work of the same name, so quality by association? Whatever. Because this was a made for TV movie, I can't call it the worst film I've ever seen. That lofty title is split three ways, between <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094074/">Superman IV: The Quest for Cash</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098382/">Star Trek V: Shatner Nearly Kills A Franchise</a>, and <a href="http://kspaz13.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-name-regular-feature.html">the subject of my second review, Shamalyan's take on The Last Airbender.</a> But if this was a studio film, with a budget of more than $2 million, which, I'm sorry, but this doesn't even look like they spent half that, then it would right up there with those films. This thing is horrible, and I don't even know where to begin with this piece of garbage. If you're like me, and will sit through a train wreck of a film just to see how it can POSSIBLY get worse, follow after the jump.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiueG2yoFFjPeaSf7hplNoaOc0vJ42JG_QRe-VUSlluQp0MwNMtQWePQyLyB-kbQO1kQwh7la9pSanABbBQKKGzV3vjdMTK4Z6zAe8QQ1unhkIZL06Dno8Fd54wzyCOvv-ot8KHZJRIGxw/s1600/frozen-in-fear-1-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiueG2yoFFjPeaSf7hplNoaOc0vJ42JG_QRe-VUSlluQp0MwNMtQWePQyLyB-kbQO1kQwh7la9pSanABbBQKKGzV3vjdMTK4Z6zAe8QQ1unhkIZL06Dno8Fd54wzyCOvv-ot8KHZJRIGxw/s320/frozen-in-fear-1-1.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
Alright, so lacking any real point to itself, this film isn't hard to rant on, but if I want to cover everything, I could writing this for weeks. So, let's get on with it, and start with the characters, and the actors/actresses playing them. The lead role is that Lacy, seriously, no last name, played TV movie and series veteran Catherine Oxenberg. Don't fret if you've never heard of her, her most recent work of note was the series <i>Watch Over Me</i>, but other than that, the only things she's been that WEREN'T a TV series or made for TV movie, is a uncredited bit part in <i>Starship Troopers 3: Marauder</i>, a starring role in the little known 1990 film <i>Overexposed</i>, which she landed because of her work on soap opera <i>Dynasty</i>, and a role in the one cult film Hugh Grant wishes he could live down, 1988's <i>The Lair of The White Worm</i>. Here, she's a gallery owner. One of her buyers has found a painting (style of which is exampled above), that sells almost immediately upon display. Intrigued with the thought of a giant payday, Lacy grabs her hapless and useless assistant Polly, and heads out into the Montana wilderness to find the mystery artist. Polly is played by Ellina McCormick, but as this is one of six roles she's ever had, and the first one I've seen, can't say she's all that great. She goes with Lacy to the town of Dark Hollow(yes, that is the town's real name, this film is too poor to afford subtlety), which is very much abandoned(no subtlety), except for four people, all of them them creepy, three of them to be useless red herrings. First we get introduced to Moira, played by Joan Benedict, a veteran actress of the 60s and 70s, here getting relegated to 'angry old cat lady', except she doesn't have any cats. Then comes Ethan, town sheriff, played by Scott Plank. He died in 2002, his final official film role being 2003's <i>Holes</i>, with Sigourney Weaver, Jon Voight, and Shia LaBeouf. There were two releases in 2005 with previously filmed footage of Plank, one of them a documentary short called <i>The Last Days of Jonathon Perlo</i>, the other a satirical comedy called <i>Guns Before Butter</i>. Here, he is called to play a man haunted by the past, driven to drink to chase away his own demons and inadequacies, but it just comes off as an angry, creepy drunk. <br />
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Next in the list of wasted talent is Rod Steiger, who also died in 2002. Steiger here plays Ben, father of Ethan, and adoptive father of the last resident, Sean. He's creepy, offputting, angry, and largely one note. A bad script given to an actor to held his own on screen against Marlon Brando to be nominated for an Oscar for 1954's <i>On The Waterfront</i>, and would later win an Oscar for 1967's <i>In The Heat Of The Night</i>. Sure, his work tapered down to more low rent stuff in the 90s, but he deserved far better than this. And now we come to the final character of the film, and my biggest problem with it. Sean, the mystery artist, played by Eric Roberts. For those who've seen a movie with Eric Roberts in it, you know this means he's the killer. He's the bad guy, in any film he's in that requires a bad guy that kills people. In this case, he's a painter, who occasionally kidnaps women and drags them to his cabin in the woods, where proceeds to kill them and freeze as part of an ice sculpture. Oh, and he listens to <i>The Flying Dutchman</i> on record when works, freezing or painting. Well, characters are taken care of, how about music? Other than the bits from <i>The Flying Dutchman</i>, it's either ear-rapingly bad stock music cues to let you know that someone is being creepy, or that Eric Roberts is the Killer,or this one song that, given it's tone(it's a blandish alternative number that gives off a vibe of devoted love), and it's placement in the film(it would have been far better as an end credits theme), comes off completely off base.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_B-9vr39d4OR-AuzdLc2AkvojotUWiBvJzALkVB2YfKUykOwCgpbugrxVO6MslX-dGZPKLbbdiDm5rpzjxG3M27J0GnCdOr-rUgCfzqKBxWc7BYhHt9c7tovRWUu3zisd_hWtQ43n6kg/s1600/FiF2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_B-9vr39d4OR-AuzdLc2AkvojotUWiBvJzALkVB2YfKUykOwCgpbugrxVO6MslX-dGZPKLbbdiDm5rpzjxG3M27J0GnCdOr-rUgCfzqKBxWc7BYhHt9c7tovRWUu3zisd_hWtQ43n6kg/s1600/FiF2.jpg" /></a>And the story? Hoo, boy. After coming to town, Polly gets a convenient reason to leave Lacy alone without a car, and does so until we need her again, at the end. Lacy, after meeting Sean, who's also mute(at least at first), all of three times, enacts her brilliant plan. She'll get Sean to sign a contract for her gallery, and set up a show, by sleeping with him as much as possible. I'm not kidding, we get two love scenes involving Roberts and Oxenberg, back to back. We also learn that Ethan and Sean are adoptive brothers, both raised by Ben. Moira, in turn, is Ben's sister, and it's implied there's an incestuous thing going on there. Eventually Polly decides she's been away from the plot for too long, and starts driving back to Dark Hollow. I swear, I will never get over that town's name. It is about this time, that Lacy, inbetween bouts of psychic visions of Sean's past, and bouts of fucking him, puts two and two together and figures out that a hitchhiking woman she saw four days ago, was in fact taken and killed by him. She gets away from Sean, only to pass Polly going in the opposite direction. She turns around to save her friend. Meanwhile, Ben has taken Ethan and Moira hostage at gunpoint, at we get closure to a subplot that does nothing, stating that Ethan hates Ben and Sean, as Sean was responsible was for the death of Ethan's fiance, and Ben found some way of covering it up. Not that it matters, as Ben blames himself for whatever it Sean has become, and shoots himself, letting Ethan and Moira escape with a gun. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjewuezOejPmdHkpuX-6wlMICn19GoJs71TOFigmMIiPJ4sKj3u-FBUUrxGbQSbE5jr6v_FI2I9utBgFy3WP9pfmZnWHGZ5zYtEHiPFqy2uT8t_BdkqBgQgFsUrvP0FhKGCdBlqiPDi4qs/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjewuezOejPmdHkpuX-6wlMICn19GoJs71TOFigmMIiPJ4sKj3u-FBUUrxGbQSbE5jr6v_FI2I9utBgFy3WP9pfmZnWHGZ5zYtEHiPFqy2uT8t_BdkqBgQgFsUrvP0FhKGCdBlqiPDi4qs/s1600/images.jpg" /></a>Lacy gets back to town to find Polly's car abandoned, then does what she should have done, and goes straight to Sean's cabin. Here comes the only surprise in the movie: at first, I thought, because the girls are grabbed via plastic bags over their heads, they were dead by the time they got to Sean's cabin. Here, they prove me wrong, by having Polly not only alive, but struggling while chained to a table, naked. As in a slow panning shot, that while not actually showing anything that would move into XXX territory, comes damn close. Lacy and Sean fight, and Sean beats her handily at first. Lacy fights harder, and manages to wound Sean badly enough to give her enough time to unchain Polly, who quickly finds a sheet to cover up. Sean gets up for round two, only to be shot five times by Ethan, having just arrived. Ethan's shots, while perhaps influenced by whatever mental state having his father shoot himself in front of him would have left him in, are all still accurate, with a leg shot, a shoulder shot, two shots to the chest, and an arm shot, being the damage. Sean dies outside his studio, where Ethan and Moira go in to check on Polly and Lacy. Lacy and Polly go outside, to find no body there. The film ends with Lacy getting her gallery show of Sean's work, and her giant payday, having sold every single piece. Polly and Lacy, while talking, notice a piece that wasn't there before, that is obviously of a naked Lacy. She then gets a phone call, where Roberts taunts her over the phone, and we cut to credits. None of these characters are well written, the story is so predictable you can guess it before you put the DVD in, the music is either horrible, or horribly out of place, oh, and the sound editing was shit, at least 35% of the mundane actions on screen, like the placement of cups on tables, gets a fucking reverb effect for no reason. This was director Robin P. Murray's third directorial outing, and, as he seems to wait about 6 or seven years between projects(his fourth, and perhaps, last one was in 2008), we're due for another shitstorm from him somewhere 2015 or so. In closing, don't be <i>Frozen in Fear</i>, pass up this shit if you get the chance.Booghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01145715311937911358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-26306974907652111812011-09-29T16:41:00.001-06:002011-09-29T16:44:29.636-06:00Games You Should Know About... XBOX Live Indie Games 4: Match of TitansOriginally, the subject of this Games You Should Know About... was going to be <i>Ico</i> and <i>Shadow of the Colossus</i>, which came out in an HD collection for the PS3 this week. Both of which are fantastic games, but the only way I wouldn't say what any game critic worth their salt has already said (which is "buy this game, dammit!") is by telling all the haters to go fuck off. All I could really add to the subject is just me griping that those who bitched about these games have an imagination and attention span large enough to fit on the head of a pin (that means you're mentally bankrupt, asswipe). So, in the spirit of repetition, "buy this game, dammit!"<br />
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Fortunately, September has been a pretty good month for XBOX Live Indie games. I've got three new titles available that I think are worth five times the small amount of Microsoft Points they're asking for.<br />
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First off, since Halloween is soon approaching, I thought I'd get a jump start on a game perfect for sating your uncontrollable hunger for 8-bit horror. Now, I know the market is flooded with zombie-apocalypse-survival-horror games, and XBOX Live Indie is no exception, but this is a zombie game with some real substance and staying power. Load your shotgun and prepare to run from <i>Dead Pixels</i> (clever name).<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUs4s5djCwt_hmZ1SoG40A3t0PTEBLayyMbLEe1AIimF03Q69OKxJrpFvdWD9AQu-IOAvqsOev_bOJ7g170mS2UoyOze50P9XDucBNequxjp2a-EWu8SjkYSz-A_H5EN80f8QJgvSYNBI/s1600/DeadPixels.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUs4s5djCwt_hmZ1SoG40A3t0PTEBLayyMbLEe1AIimF03Q69OKxJrpFvdWD9AQu-IOAvqsOev_bOJ7g170mS2UoyOze50P9XDucBNequxjp2a-EWu8SjkYSz-A_H5EN80f8QJgvSYNBI/s400/DeadPixels.jpg" width="332" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>This official art definitely adds to the game's feel</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>of watching an old grindhouse zombie movie -- Nice!</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Created by Scottish indie developer CANTSTRAFERIGHT, <i>Dead Pixels</i> feels like a cross between <i>Left 4 Dead</i> and <i>River City Ransom</i>, though the plethora of inspirations and in-game references span the gamut of zombie movies, video games, etc. You play as a lone survivor (or a pair of survivors in a two-player game) who must plow through a horde of zombies to "get to tha' choppa'" and escape. Just so you know, these zombies are the radioactive brand, created from spilled nuclear waste, not the viral outbreak or the necromantic kind.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">The game has you going further and further to the right (though you can go left to get something that you didn't pick up earlier), shooting zombies, looting buildings, and trading with makeshift stores for guns, ammo, and toilet paper (yes, you can sell toilet paper to them). The further you go, the more varieties of zombies you come up against, each kind harder than the last. Though the zombies don't say things like "Barf!" at the bottom of the screen, they do leave behind money to collect. You can also upgrade certain abilities at stores to make you a better zombie slaying machine.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Gameplay is extremely fun and harder difficulty settings add more streets for you to run through to get to the goal, which allows you to customize your game length. The best part about Dead Pixels is that the developer has promised add-on content (what he likes to call "free DLC") for every sales milestone the game reaches. After three days in the marketplace, the game already reached its first milestone (4,000 units) and he is working on a new game mode called "The Solution." It also seems that there'll be another add-on after that, since the second milestone (10,000 units) was recently surpassed. If you want to keep track of the add-on developments and sales milestones, check out the official <a href="http://www.facebook.com/DeadPixelsTheGame?sk=wall">Facebook page</a>.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Oh yeah, did I mention it only costs a buck?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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Up next is <i>Robotriot</i>, an action platform game from <a href="http://retromitedev.blogspot.com/">Retromite</a>. In this game, you play a robot who looks like the love-child of <i>The Black Hole's </i>V.I.N.CENT<i></i> and T-Bob from <i>MASK</i>. Your job is to infiltrate rogue spaceships and disable their power cores so that your boss can have them towed. Yes, the hero of the game is a robo repo man.<br />
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Of course, just like in the real repo business, you have to deal with people trying to stop you from taking their transportation. Though, instead of the hung-over guy in a wife beater and soiled boxers pointing a shotgun at you, you're dealing with security systems rife with robots, gun emplacements, and hazardous obstacles. Fortunately, you have some firepower to keep things even. There's a lot of shooting switches, finding keycards, and using moving platforms to satisfy action platform fans. While this is usually not my kind of game, I found myself enjoying this one. One thing I will say is, for a game that only costs $1, the graphics and music are really good. It looks and sounds like a high end 16-bit game.<br />
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If you like exploring levels with platforms and switches and shooting up enemies, pick up <i>Robotriot</i>. It's also going to be available on Android phones as well as the iPhone and iPad (not that I'm interested in doing anything on my phone other than making calls, but whatever floats your boat).<br />
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Speaking of high quality games, our final game, <i>Wizorb</i>, is a thing of beauty. Imagine a game like Atari's <i>Breakout</i> or Taito's <i>Arkanoid</i>, add magic spell power-ups that are fueled by a magic meter, some RPG elements, and a healthy dose of monsters, and you have <i>Wizorb</i>. While this may be the first work from Tribute, the Montreal based development team that made this game, I could have sworn this game was made by seasoned veterans of the industry. Don't believe me? Just take a look at the <a href="http://www.wizorb.com/">website</a> for the game. There's not much to it, right now, but it looks great.<br />
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The high production doesn't end there, either. The graphics are beautiful, the sprite animation is silky smooth, and the soundtrack is great. <i>Wizorb</i> looks like a highly polished and rare game for the Sega Master System -- maybe even Super Nintendo. Fortunately, it's an unbelievably gorgeous and extremely fun XBOX Live Indie game for only $3. This is a MUST BUY.<br />
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Storywise, you play Cyrus, a wizard with the rare and mysterious power of the Wizorb, who must save the kingdom of Gorudo from legions of monsters. While you're saving the kingdom, you'll come across a town that needs your help in rebuilding (by spending gold, of course). Each building you repair gives you items or new options, such as a store, to help you on your quest.<br />
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I've only played the game for about five minutes, but I can already tell this game is a solid winner (I played the demo. Once I get my first paycheck from my new job, I'll drop the funds for this one). With fantastic graphics and sound and awesome gameplay, you have no reason to skip this game. Buy it. Seriously, buy it. Just friggin' buy it.<br />
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One more game to mention, though you won't find it on XBOX. While digging up some info on these games, I came across another game called <i>Ninja Senki</i>. Some of you may have heard of it, since it came out last December. If you haven't, it's an old school action platformer in a similar vein to the <i>Mega Man</i> series. It's only available for PC, but it is free to download. Check out the <a href="http://ninjasenki.com/">website</a> and enjoy.<br />
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Hope that buffet of cheap games holds you over until the next crop. I'll see you guys next week.Anacronushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15835168025096871205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-77893091695945355132011-09-24T12:41:00.001-06:002011-09-24T12:42:04.248-06:00Some Dragon Quest-ness and the 75th Birthday of a LegendSo Square Enix is celebrating 25 years of <i>Dragon Quest</i> (like many other classic NES franchises). While the <i>Dragon Quest</i> games have been successful in the U.S. (initially under the name <i>Dragon Warrior</i>), it's the Japanese gamers that made the franchise a phenomenon and kept it alive for so long. Of course, Square Enix rewarded them with the <i>Dragon Quest 25th Anniversary Collection</i> for the Wii, which features the Famicom and Super Famicom emulations of the first three games (known as the Loto Trilogy) along with a bunch of extras. Needless to say, it's not coming out Stateside. C'mon, guys! First, we are denied <i>Xenoblade</i> and <i>The Last Story</i> (even though they were released in Europe) now this? Seriously, Nintendo of America, it's like you don't want people to buy the Wii. What the hell is wrong with you?!<br />
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For those of us who do not live in Japan, all we can do is salivate at these videos. This first one is the Japanese trailer for the collection, featuring all the great extras that are included. So friggin' jealous.<br />
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Next is the anime intro to the game, which was done by the same animation studio who did the intro for <i>Dragon Quest IX</i>, Kamikaze Douga. The intro summarizes the legends of the great hero, Loto, and his descendants that are the focus of these first three games. Enjoy.<br />
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While there's probably no chance in hell we'll get the anniversary collection, we do get some <i>Dragon Quest</i> games coming our way. For those who enjoy the pet monster offshoot of the franchise, <i>Dragon Quest Monsters Joker 2</i> came out recently. Of course, Japan also got an expanded version of the game, <i>Dragon Quest Monsters Joker 2 Professional</i>, which came out last March, but the American release is of the original game. Whatever.<br />
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Then, there's Dragon Quest X, which will be the first time, since <i>Dragon Warrior IV</i>, that a <i>Dragon Quest</i> game came to a Nintendo home console in the U.S. (<i>Dragon Quest V</i> and <i>VI</i> came out for the Super Famicom in Japan). Here's the trailer from this year's Tokyo Game Show.<br />
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Yeah, I can't wait to play it, either. It's supposed to be available for the Wii and WiiU (whether or not it makes a difference which system you play it on is unknown to me).<br />
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Okay, one more video. Today would have marked Jim Henson's 75 birthday. Though he died 21 years ago, his vision and legacy still live on. Here's one of my favorite Muppet moments. Happy birthday, Jim.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="389" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cYejYCfEA9w?rel=0" width="530"></iframe>Anacronushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15835168025096871205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-23442842201241581232011-09-23T19:18:00.000-06:002011-09-23T19:18:13.230-06:00Flick Picks 27: Kick-Ass<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello Streakers! Boog here, with a bit of a vacation piece. You see, after that week of pretty shitty horror films, I wanted to catch up a little on newer films I hadn't seen, and hell, maybe even one I'd enjoy. Hence today's review of 2010's hyper-violent blockbuster <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5mxBaXHcFw">Kick-Ass</a>, based on the comic book from writer Mark Millar, and penciller John Romita Jr. Oh, and SPOILERS! Lots of them. There are two reasons I'm reviewing this beyond my own wanting to see this film. First, in a weird way, I have connected it to my next review, which is going to back to old school horror, and second, very few other reviewers I have read about this film seem to get it. I'll explain my point after the jump, but I will say this: in the end, this review is positive. I'm going to be as balanced as I can, but this film was, to me, rather enjoyable. It takes some rather bland beginnings, and with some dashes of violence that would make Tarantino wonder what the hell he was watching, manages to give you a message too.<br />
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Okay, so what do I mean about the reviewers? Well, as I have stated in <a href="http://kspaz13.blogspot.com/2011/01/first-post-by-new-talent.html">a previous review</a>, sometimes a film comes along that no one knows what to make of it. As that review posited, <i>Scott Pilgrim vs. The World</i> was one such film. I now posit that <i>Kick-Ass</i> is another. Yes, it made money. Made so much that the sequel storyline in the comics is also being made into a film, as is the third arc. Yes, it's an action movie, violence is to be expected, even applauded, as long as it's from the heroes. But I find a disturbing trend in with most when discussing or reviewing this film. One, everyone brings up Tarantino. I can understand, considering the subject matter, but come on. Tarantino, for the most part, well, for the ONLY part, actually, does crime film. Even <i>Kill Bill's</i> revenge fueled storyline, and the characters he portrayed in <i>From Dusk til Dawn</i> and <i>Sukiyaki Western Django</i> involved, or were criminals, or at least mercenaries. Even <i>Inglorious Basterds</i> succumbs to this. Tarantino uses violence as a plot device, something horrific and terrible to keep the audience focused while he sets up another well written dialogue exchange. Violence in these films are a means to an end, and is always shown as a bad idea. They linger on the violence to shock and sicken you, so that when the characters are talking again, it's more meaningful, because you know what's coming, and, even for the bad guys, it's something you don't want to happen. <i>Kick-Ass</i> is compared to Tarantino, but unfortunately, in the wrong way. Most of the time, it seems that a person latches onto the violence, and because the film doesn't focus on the aftermath the same way a Tarantino film might, they complain about it glorifying violence, or saying it promotes violence as a way to solve problems, when I truly believe it's saying the exact opposite.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh59f4cC81kY8WOCqhlObhK5jmJcYYErXL01PDIqlZxeMO5lAjoYBYSPdb4m6igApOAh6H7OVv08iGECTIVCg4Wn8WPqGsVAaN33VhfaJxpUiD4DOTyw3zaoAVFka3hLT3AzwK8PB9aIeU/s1600/KickAss1-lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh59f4cC81kY8WOCqhlObhK5jmJcYYErXL01PDIqlZxeMO5lAjoYBYSPdb4m6igApOAh6H7OVv08iGECTIVCg4Wn8WPqGsVAaN33VhfaJxpUiD4DOTyw3zaoAVFka3hLT3AzwK8PB9aIeU/s320/KickAss1-lg.jpg" width="320" /></a>Our main character is your typical teenage high-schooler who has, here's a shocker, a completely freaking boring normal existence. He goes to school, talks to his father about inane shit, and hangs out with his friends. The only thing that would make him stand out, is a common geek/nerd trait of a love of comics, especially superhero comics(I still wish someone would have the balls to do a movie on <i>The Authority</i>, but that's never gonna happen). Basically, this kid has a good heart, and comes from a place of genuinely wanting to help people, and, as he can see, there's no reason not to, so he does it. He buys a wet suit, gets some gloves and boots to go with it, and proceeds to nearly die in his first outing. He gets stabbed in the gut, and nearly bleeds to death from that and other injuries, including broken ribs, fractured leg and arm bones, and muscle damage. And this is where the film seems to shift. We are told that due to the extensive work needed to put him back together, out titular hero now has an increased pain threshold, and thanks to the metal in most of his body, a resistance to repeat bone breakage, giving him a damn near honest to goodness superpower. So he continues crime fighting. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqdo9FhAOOG_-X5qBKAFgxJTfJLUmM4hG36DVDuW-CmzQlaXH-OrEEgMCmSqYPfwmAUbPUwKiT_ePKAzDws1dRw3XXZ2oPcAQfHnzgbQ8HmNfH_szDqCWlaVxogphcrDfrtR0ZdagJeDc/s1600/kick-ass_movie_image_aaron_johnson_christopher_mintz-plasse_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqdo9FhAOOG_-X5qBKAFgxJTfJLUmM4hG36DVDuW-CmzQlaXH-OrEEgMCmSqYPfwmAUbPUwKiT_ePKAzDws1dRw3XXZ2oPcAQfHnzgbQ8HmNfH_szDqCWlaVxogphcrDfrtR0ZdagJeDc/s320/kick-ass_movie_image_aaron_johnson_christopher_mintz-plasse_01.jpg" width="320" /></a> But the focus of the story there isn't on that aspect of the character. It's on this typical kid, thanks to a very convenient misunderstanding, getting to spend time with his high school crush. This gets completely derailed for a while with the introduction of two other characters, that of Hit Girl and Big Daddy, played by Chloe Grace Moretz, and Nicolas Cage, respectively. Nicolas Cage is, for the most part, his crazy ass self here, but really, it only helps the role and his performance of it. Moretz, in comparison, steals every damn scene she's in, and based on this alone, I really hope she does a whole lot more movies, because I'll want to see every single one. These two are the violent centerpiece of the film, bringing the other characetrs of the film together through their actions. Director Matthew Vaughn shows off more of his by now trademark frenetic visual style, in part influenced from the heavily character driven, Guy Ritchie directed <i>Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, </i>and <i>Snatch, </i>both of which Vaughn produced, and honed in his first two directing efforts, 2004's <i>Layer Cake</i>, a crime thriller starring Daniel Craig, and 2007's <i>Stardust</i>, a fantasy adaptation of the Neil Gaiman book of the same name. Vaughn's directorial talents can also be seen in the recently released <i>X-Men: First Class</i>. A small bit on the visuals and music here: I love Vaughn's storytelling style. Every little bit of film here exuded some kind of charm, shock, awe, or other emotion that really works to the benefit of the film, and to the benefit of what it's trying to convey. For that, I need to go a little in depth into the characters themselves. First, Kick-Ass. This kid is freaking tough, in that he really is someone who wants to do good, and shows how much good by being literally ready to lay down his life for a complete stranger. Big Daddy and Hit Girl, by comparison. are the 90s Rob Liefeld Image Comics crew to Kick-Ass' four color vigilantism. That means they kill every bad guy they see, with lots of blood, and lots of smiles while doing so. Hit Girl is 11, by the way. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vzrSoI4fhpmzNxwrbrnUEaILJU9NY_kvFshzeIWdGQBUbNmmoNlvJxyQz6NDSO7Qfp6iaTjDKk2Hwj0YiZonW0kKwDzDrlSXs6TYCzEWfYz80DHURNVwneU0glXu1dkdSkbdsNga4ic/s1600/kick-ass-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4vzrSoI4fhpmzNxwrbrnUEaILJU9NY_kvFshzeIWdGQBUbNmmoNlvJxyQz6NDSO7Qfp6iaTjDKk2Hwj0YiZonW0kKwDzDrlSXs6TYCzEWfYz80DHURNVwneU0glXu1dkdSkbdsNga4ic/s320/kick-ass-b.jpg" width="320" /></a>So, then we get to the heart of the matter: Kick-Ass, the superhero, is just a normal kid fed up with the world around him and decides to do something about it, by becoming a costumed vigilante. <i>Kick-Ass</i>, the film, is a cautionary tale of hope, and loss, and the uselessness of violence as a way to solve problems, especially when it comes to revenge. You see, Big Daddy is supposed to come off as a kind of villain in this piece. His obsession over the death of the wife has driven him to become the kind of gun toting killer he used to put behind bars as a cop, and not only that, he has let it blind him to the fact that he denied his daughter a childhood by training her in the ways of death and destruction from a very young age, even forgoing traditional schooling, all for his hatred of one man that he believes ruined his life. While anger in this case, even outright rage, may be justified, how in the hell can he justify turning an 11 year old girl into a killing machine? The violence these two perpetrate in the name of revenge, is supposed to be APPALLING and SHOCKING in it's execution, no pun intended, and it is. I don't see how anyone can watch those scenes and say that they are played for laughs, or are somehow desensitizing. They are there to showcase just how screwed up Hit Girl is, thanks to her father's thirst for blood. In the end, his revenge is completed, even if he doesn't get to live to see it. Which is the whole point of the story, I think. Big Daddy dies never getting his revenge. Hit Girl almost dies in the process of trying to complete her father's task, and, in the end, fails, with Kick-Ass getting the final blow. But this is also rendered meaningless through the survival of another character, Red Mist, who, as the son of the man Big Daddy wanted dead, now has his own revenge to plan, thanks to the killing of his father. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0YYCyK4jn0KmCpVilyKu7RZ88_EgpNmDPXFFqb_7q0gpdFnu4tqrJboBKGBXSdyz-FzRoGc8w6ZkGKC6or1GjZqNyC8QFHyBJi-V53n_tYaGOZ61bAPx2qzuYJJLDA6aOXI6xAE9sysg/s1600/kick-ass1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0YYCyK4jn0KmCpVilyKu7RZ88_EgpNmDPXFFqb_7q0gpdFnu4tqrJboBKGBXSdyz-FzRoGc8w6ZkGKC6or1GjZqNyC8QFHyBJi-V53n_tYaGOZ61bAPx2qzuYJJLDA6aOXI6xAE9sysg/s320/kick-ass1.jpg" width="320" /></a>If nothing else, this film is actually a treatise AGAINST it's own cycle of violence, and should be seen as such. In that way, it becomes more than just a self-aware comic book movie. It becomes one of the best films I've ever seen. Seriously, I heavily recommend <i>Kick-Ass</i> to anyone and everyone. Just know going in that you're in for for a lot of blood, a disturbing amount of revenge fueled psychosis, and, in the end, a lot of heart.<br />
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Booghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01145715311937911358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-41577600651491364842011-09-14T14:05:00.002-06:002011-09-14T14:05:46.915-06:00Dungeons of Time - Sagave Worlds of MARS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtGfHbdlUEe81hXxf5XX651QBA6Ia1aCinYREaOurYtnNMYHiB1S12czyPTd8A6YYGE-rTzPV86IXH5ywvXm6kzHvPi907V6vCQbYmPKsZfg_9J9BAcSRUGgiHFAsXQqV5Topjk60wPE/s1600/DungeonsOfTime04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtGfHbdlUEe81hXxf5XX651QBA6Ia1aCinYREaOurYtnNMYHiB1S12czyPTd8A6YYGE-rTzPV86IXH5ywvXm6kzHvPi907V6vCQbYmPKsZfg_9J9BAcSRUGgiHFAsXQqV5Topjk60wPE/s1600/DungeonsOfTime04.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I think it's time we go back into the dungeons, once again. Today, we're going to take a look at a game from Adamant Entertainment. These guys have been making products for numerous RPG systems: <i>Mutants & Masterminds</i>, <i>d20 Modern</i>, <i>D&D</i> 4th Edition, <i>Pathfinder</i>, and, of course, <i>Savage Worlds</i>. Some of their upcoming projects that might interest you include a mash-up of wild west and wuxia (like in those classic kung fu movies) called <a href="http://intothefarwest.com/"><i>Far West</i></a> and an RPG based on the adventures of the original six-gun, six-string samurai of science, <a href="http://www.adamantentertainment.com/2011/07/18/buckaroo-banzai-is-back/"><i>Buckaroo Banzai</i></a>. Whether or not these games will be available for <i>Savage Worlds</i> is unknown to me. We'll just have to wait and keep our fingers crossed.<br />
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However, today's game in question is actually from a few years ago. Back then, I became enamored with Edgar Rice Burroughs' Barsoom series of books, which dealt with a civil war veteran, John Carter, being astrally transported to a fantastical version of the planet Mars and his adventures there, among other things. He became one of my favorite characters, along with Conan, in fantasy/sci-fi literature. With the Barsoom series, Burroughs popularized the Planetary Romance genre (also known as Sword & Planet). His stories inspired writers, filmmakers, and game designers. To prove that, I present to you the first Sword & Planet game for Savage Worlds: <i>MARS</i>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsPPEzB6f-t2N4OeXHgWkqInjEPRIB30dAjRMrSy3udaNyxKhN-XNeEHFzQEzTJ5uBD2457rFC-cj9zt7_3pM4NNz7SVTb_paq_th5Z1EvIO980SWCiTLdP9LfDYghzH9j5YEiUoMdJyM/s1600/MARSCover05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsPPEzB6f-t2N4OeXHgWkqInjEPRIB30dAjRMrSy3udaNyxKhN-XNeEHFzQEzTJ5uBD2457rFC-cj9zt7_3pM4NNz7SVTb_paq_th5Z1EvIO980SWCiTLdP9LfDYghzH9j5YEiUoMdJyM/s400/MARSCover05.jpg" width="306" /></a></div><br />
MARS originally started out as a campaign setting for 3rd Edition d20 system. After 4th Edition came out, Adamant decided to move the game over to Savage Worlds. <i>MARS</i> will be very familiar to fans of Barsoom, but there are many differences. For instance, almost every race in MARS only has two arms; no four armed Tharks or White Apes, here. Speaking of White Apes, they are a sentient, warlike race with their own kingdom (think <i>Planet of the Apes</i> meets ancient Rome). The Grey Martians, an octopoid race, battle in giant tripods, just like those found in H. G. Wells' <i>War of the Worlds</i>.<br />
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What you will find in <i>MARS</i> that is reminiscent of Barsoom is exotic locales filled with ancient ruins and strange beasts, once venerable empires using strength and cunning to survive in a fading world, savage races to wage war with, cool gadgets, such as flying ships and radium guns, and all the action, adventure, and intrigue you'd expect.<br />
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While three of the native races (Red Men, Green Men, and White Apes) can be selected for player characters, many people will probably want to play a human (like John Carter or Ulysses Paxton). Not only is this option available, but there are published adventures that deal with one or more Earthlings mysteriously appearing on the Martian surface, whether they're the player characters or NPCs. The Grey Men, however, are strictly an NPC race, as they're meant to be the strange, subterranean menace to the surface dwellers. Another "race," the Synthe-Men, are homunculi who were charged with the duty of maintaining and protecting the Martian canal system (which makes it difficult to justify one as a player character).<br />
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If this sounds like your idea of adventure, then check out the entire line of MARS products at <a href="http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/index.php?cPath=4256">DriveThru RPG</a> (this page contains products for both 3rd Edition d20, which are now defunct, and <i>Savage Worlds</i>). While Adamant is busy working on other stuff, at the moment, they did promise more adventures and supplements will be available in the future.<br />
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If, however, you are interested in a more authentic approach to Barsoom for your <i>Savage Worlds</i> game, I recommend <a href="http://www.savagebarsoom.com/">Savage Barsoom</a>. This blog contains lots of helpful information for creating games in Burroughs' version of Mars, including articles on races, creatures, culture, religion, technology, and more. He also has links to companies that sell gaming miniatures for the different races/creatures of Barsoom. Definitely go check it out.<br />
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Until next time, make sure to keep your hands of my dice.Anacronushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15835168025096871205noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-43245660249407211592011-09-12T08:37:00.000-06:002011-09-12T08:37:15.171-06:00Real Life Gets in the Way Again.I hate to throw this up here after Anacronus' last post, and after I haven't posted anything since declaring that we were back, but...I am not going to be posting anything for a little while longer. I need to focus on looking for a new job, and so I won't have the time I need to post articles on here.<br />
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But as soon as I find a new job, I'll be back. We should have some interviews coming up with a few indie comics makers so keep your eyes peeled. Hopefully I'll be back soon.<br />
<br />Thanks for reading.<br />
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-Kspaz-Kspazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18125920087363000605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-68625686882658082202011-09-08T10:15:00.001-06:002011-09-08T10:15:41.977-06:00I'm not doing a post this week.Nope.Anacronushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15835168025096871205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-35859855698099160302011-09-05T13:25:00.001-06:002011-09-07T16:32:02.934-06:00Flick Picks Retrospective: Charles Band<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_v2SqNxZpL3410cOJzHt7KfAPhkCmVPxd_C_UxKlZvFMLhk_np1vP_I0vWBpYo2eBdFitwcLHWRhDBhpqIKVlrjM1nDbsWjRtzcL11XBrBZiCdw2ySIscOayyZYSH39VsvCAgn-lGKYc/s1600/CharlesBand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_v2SqNxZpL3410cOJzHt7KfAPhkCmVPxd_C_UxKlZvFMLhk_np1vP_I0vWBpYo2eBdFitwcLHWRhDBhpqIKVlrjM1nDbsWjRtzcL11XBrBZiCdw2ySIscOayyZYSH39VsvCAgn-lGKYc/s320/CharlesBand.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Hello, again Streakers! Boog here, with a little retrospective(HA!), brought on by the fact that after doing four film reviews from this man, I feel I have to go into, at least in part, my fascination, admiration, and utter hatred for <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0023929/">Charles Band</a>. The man had made, to date(as far as I'm able to determine), 244 films, containing some of the worst d-grade schlock to ever be put on film, which I'll get into soon. BUT, it also includes some of the BEST, and most enduring, b-grade horror franchises to date. And how this man can be happy with the former, when he knows he can do the latter, just frustrates me to all hell. But that's for the serious bits after the jump.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQsm0iZ-KxL-G5uZHoFxv5Rb5pCAecNH0AbZTqYYWuOU5EgqJi8KQSxmpb4jBUptEXkPVGWoQabmnosDBrEXhSigo4hYv1BcCc2ceOaVvtdMCsQZ1pR_i5OgIA8MtMeI923YBkV-VKibw/s1600/220px-Puppet_Master.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQsm0iZ-KxL-G5uZHoFxv5Rb5pCAecNH0AbZTqYYWuOU5EgqJi8KQSxmpb4jBUptEXkPVGWoQabmnosDBrEXhSigo4hYv1BcCc2ceOaVvtdMCsQZ1pR_i5OgIA8MtMeI923YBkV-VKibw/s400/220px-Puppet_Master.jpg" width="250" /></a>So, yeah, here is VHS promotional poster for <i>Puppet Master,</i> which, despite my previous admission on my <a href="http://kspaz13.blogspot.com/2011/09/flicks-picks-26-demonic-toys.html">previous review of Demonic Toys</a>, even I have to say is a strong running, and rather enjoyable at times, franchise. There are a few films in the currently 10-film franchise that feature the puppet as antagonists, heroes, of the story, which is one of the reasons why this franchise has gone on for so long. Most of the time, left to his own devices, Charles Band will do something, or hire someone who will, take his film in a direction that honestly, comes off as cult-film gold. But to really get into that, we need to go into the history of the man, and his many film companies. Here we go: The History of Charles Band, Part 1: the 1970s. Charles Band, son of Albert Band, had a love of filmmaking, that Dad honestly helped along. When he got to his 20s, Charles decided he had waited long enough and formed <i>Charles Band Productions</i>. During it's ten year(73-83) long run, CBP was responsible for 16 films, 3 of which, including the very first film Band ever made, <i>Last Foxtrot in Burbank</i>, a spoof of <i>Last Tango in Paris</i>, were some form of erotica. The other thirteen were mostly sci-fi and horror related, with standouts being <i>Laserblast</i> (the film used as the Season 7 closer for MST3K, the last episode before the show switched channels from Comedy Central to The SciFi Channel), and <i>Parasite</i>. There were also some rather interesting ideas in filmmaking presented in this time period, with sci-fi weirdness in <i>The Day Time Ended</i>, and even conventional crime drama, in <i>Walking The Edge</i>. The films in this period also show another Charles Band trademark: first time screen roles of highly recognizable actresses, most notably Demi Moore(the previously mentioned <i>Parasite). </i>In 1983, however, Band, still living in and around Italy thanks to the filmmaking he grew up around, dissolved CBP and formed <i>Empire Pictures,</i> sometimes known as <i>Empire International Pictures</i>. Those of you who know what's now coming, good OR bad, take a shot.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4v1ac32Ig2OcMPzLllRzrm6_E_upoVOI4djeHStWAKVvlQ9UgeqsRxXsaUEVbPxvFpWGRHnnQhisXAOVBU_sZ8iz-KEq1U7xHZ-o3pCWWWVu109XCeg-MSPUFqTO7H21DgQCHapyYXUg/s1600/220px-Reanimator_poster.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4v1ac32Ig2OcMPzLllRzrm6_E_upoVOI4djeHStWAKVvlQ9UgeqsRxXsaUEVbPxvFpWGRHnnQhisXAOVBU_sZ8iz-KEq1U7xHZ-o3pCWWWVu109XCeg-MSPUFqTO7H21DgQCHapyYXUg/s320/220px-Reanimator_poster.png" width="209" /></a>You see, Empire, while formed in '83 (<i>Walking the Edge </i>lists Empire as the film house behind it, despite being firmly in the CBP era), didn't actually release any films for two years, while building up what was to be some of the best films Band would release, as well as some of the worst films ever put to celluloid. The first four films from Empire, all part of 7 they would release that year (1985), included <i>Re-Animator</i>, highly regarded as one of the best indie cult horror classics of all time, mainly due to it's star Jeffrey Combs, and the rampant comedy throughout. It got two sequels, but neither of them had anything to do with Band, and instead had everything to do with hack producer and director Brian Yuzna, but he's a different story altogether. Also in this illustrious group was <i>Ghoulies!</i>, <i>Trancers, </i>and <i>The Dungeonmaster</i>, all three of which were either interesting, new ideas in filmmaking, or honestly entertaining works that would become franchises later on. <i>The Dungeonmaster </i>was a rather awesome idea actually, on paper: let's make a sci-fi fantasy, with a quest based, episodic premise, and let a DIFFERENT DIRECTOR film each 'episode' within the film? We'll give each one the basic outline of what HAS to happen, and have a final editing director to make sure they all flow into each other well, but each sequence will have it's own unique feel! And, in the end, it kind of succeeds, in that there are SEVEN directors listed, one for each sequence, including Band, as the main plot revolves around seven 'tests' the main character must perform for the villain, or lose the soul of the girl he loves. It was a rather ambitious idea, and one of the reasons why I hate Band as a director now, as he shows NONE of that earlier ambition anymore. <i>Ghoulies!</i> would become a well-known late night TV horror show franchise of the late 80s and early 90s, with it's first sequel, <i>Ghoulies II, </i>being handled by Empire as well, with two more sequels later on from other companies as well. That leaves <i>Trancers</i> which, as a premise, was again an AWESOME idea. With one part <i>Robocop</i>, one part <i>Terminator</i>, and a dash of <i>Timecop</i>, <i>Trancers </i>wasn't all that original, but it was freaking entertaining as hell. It would stand alone for about 6 years, until Charles' third and longest lasting company, would revive it as a franchise. It revolves a man named Jack Deth(subtle, no?), and one of the more interesting premises on time travel, in that one can take a drug to enter into a mental state, that allows one to 'take over' the mind of one of your own genetic ancestors.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs9UA3ZhKA5jMT1Z3lO8r-5ZrzVBNz2PoARyKtoacket6opD8dOFRUuiKJWKbhuprqjz5rm5eWMBSVJ5CwVVczMRWRg1Ir8P0M47UCYhDhDO3-p3Bv5E1jQQ-lJwPdVHPJnpJI5CTYhGE/s1600/220px-Trancersposter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs9UA3ZhKA5jMT1Z3lO8r-5ZrzVBNz2PoARyKtoacket6opD8dOFRUuiKJWKbhuprqjz5rm5eWMBSVJ5CwVVczMRWRg1Ir8P0M47UCYhDhDO3-p3Bv5E1jQQ-lJwPdVHPJnpJI5CTYhGE/s320/220px-Trancersposter.jpg" width="217" /></a>Great Idea, really, and it was really helped by the stars, Tim Thomerson, who was already partly known as a b-list badass before this, and a early film role by none other than Helen Hunt. Who reprised her role in the sequel. Now comes the scary part. Over the next four years (Empire effectively died in '89 with the crash of the Italian lira), Empire was at least partly responsible for atrocities like, well, the one I can say I've seen to prove my point, is <i>Troll.</i> Yes, THAT <i>Troll.</i> There were two films released after Empire's collpase that bared the Empire name, 1990's <i>Robot Jox, </i>and 1992's <i>The Spellcaster</i>, but that release was after a four year delay due in part, to the collapse in the first place. I would use <i>Robot Jox</i> as another example of bad filmmaking from that era, but as Empire was effectively dead before it's release, it's kind of a moot point. That, ad again, <i>Robot Jox </i>actually had some decent ideas in the premise department, as I actually like the post apocalyptic sports approach to resolving conflict, and I find films that use that premise at least mildly entertaining.So yeah, Charles Band can count himself as one among many responsible for <i>Troll.</i> And while the staple of actresses show up here too, what with Julia-Louis Dreyfuss showing up here, it's still terrible, in every aspect. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1IIKOj5ZnYj4RLXwlf0nrwTA3w1yha03OLRrV1KNZAp4E-F1bLs2kpZ5HXedl4KOc4Q4ChJ959BesJ55_QdgB3zNpozcrzwY5LoxciXWJ68GkS3e8of6GBHchV0O0RE1B8kRFeHrtqEc/s1600/troll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1IIKOj5ZnYj4RLXwlf0nrwTA3w1yha03OLRrV1KNZAp4E-F1bLs2kpZ5HXedl4KOc4Q4ChJ959BesJ55_QdgB3zNpozcrzwY5LoxciXWJ68GkS3e8of6GBHchV0O0RE1B8kRFeHrtqEc/s1600/troll.jpg" /></a>Then, in 1989, from the ashes of Empire Films, Charles Band launches the film, and franchise, he'll be forever know for, Full Moon, and <i>Puppet Master.</i> I only put Full Moon there, as the company has gone through five name changes since it's inception, six if you count Band's emo period. While currently Full Moon Pictures, in started as Full Moon Productions, and was changed to Full Moon Entertainment, Studios, and Features, in that order, before settling on Pictures a few years back. It is the Full Moon Era, still going on, where Band hit his stride, so to speak, both with good, and bad, filmmaking. The good was well, most of the early stuff, actually. <i>Puppet Master. Shadowzone. Crash and Burn. Netherworld. </i>All films with good premises, good effects, and were entertaining, for the b-movie direct to video market. Not to mention the franchise tentpoles the <i>Puppet Master</i> and <i>Trancers</i> became for the studio, even giving birth to another idea of Band's: presenting Full Moon's films as a self contained universe, like the comics of DC or Marvel, where characters and ideas can interact with each other freely, even making new films out of the possibilities, with one of the films I reviewed previously, <i>Demonic Toys</i>, being a standout in this regard, getting crossover films with <i>Puppet Master</i> and <i>Dollman,</i> another Tim Thomerson vehicle, playing the same kind of cop that he does in <i>Trancers</i>, only he's an alien, and because of the different scale of size from his home planet, he's 6 inches tall. And other franchise films, like <i>Subspecies</i>. Early Full Moon film work is a gold mine of good ideas executed well, despite time and budget constraints. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO4E3S_02r-udupe_82KOvGfhklbwKTabAfXpMeeqQ4qYHPzGI6zleV6vdFH91D3wMo5QIggD6rrpGcu2i265V3OHz5YVBuhcnjI7rVId7y3MVcUsevvFRCnqiKlneHIcUNZyiQXP62J4/s1600/220px-Dungeonmaster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO4E3S_02r-udupe_82KOvGfhklbwKTabAfXpMeeqQ4qYHPzGI6zleV6vdFH91D3wMo5QIggD6rrpGcu2i265V3OHz5YVBuhcnjI7rVId7y3MVcUsevvFRCnqiKlneHIcUNZyiQXP62J4/s320/220px-Dungeonmaster.jpg" width="204" /></a>Then comes 1993, and while good films were still coming out of Full Moon during the entire time frame I'm about to spell out here, here was where Band himself, simply lost sight of what was going on around him, and a period of no less than 7 subsidiary film houses emerges, the first two being Moonbeam Entertainment, and Torchlight Entertainment. Moonbeam, if you can't guess from the name, was a film house Band formed with children's films in mind, the most famous probably being the <i>Prehysteria!</i> trilogy, with honorable mentions <i>Josh Kirby...Time Warrior!</i> and couple of leprechaun films, <i>Leaping Leprechauns!</i>, and <i>Spellbreaker: The Magic of the Leprechauns.</i> It is with the knowledge of those two films that I realize my first encounter with Charles Band was in 1995, when <i>Leaping Leprechauns!</i> was released, as not only was it a VHS, it played on a few family channels during that time. The second company, Torchlight Entertainment, was Charles Band's attempt to de-sleazify the Full Moon banner, by placing all of the racy, damn near softcore potn like stuff, under a different label. It worked, for the the most part, but, as Torchlight only has seven releases in eight years, it seems as if, in 2001, Band just gave trying, and put all of the T&A back under the Full Moon banner. Still, he gets points for trying, I guess. In 1996, 1998, and 1999, other production companies were formed under Full Moon, and all of them were short lived, kind of like how most of the films these days are 'financed' by [film name here] LLC, to make the films infinitely more marketable, by greatly reducing the overall financial risk involved. In 1996, we get two more companies, responsible for two film each. There's Pulp Fantasy Productions, with <i>Head of the Family, </i>and <i>The Killer Eye</i>, both of which are all right, with <i>Head </i>being the standout for again, a rather interesting premise, in a family of mutants, of which, in the five of them, are no one complete being, but five separate entities, each with one aspect of a human being extrapolated to it's extreme end. So, one huge brute, one with amazing senses, etc, led by the intelligence, who is literally just about a head in a wheelchair, who not only has the brains, but psychic powers as well, including mind control. The other company is Monster Island Productions, so named because it's two films are monster movies in the vein of the old Toho Productions <i>Godzilla</i> franchise. They'r called <i>Zarkorr! The Invader! </i>and <i>Kraa! The Sea Monster!</i> should you wish to look them up. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8lDsKDhdnz_G7W9A7dJIdN0FjjpDhyVxCuF4g5Z4Te_Wnt-3kN5a4bjbqH2mh_gJW8r4A1VGnXNK6nRdARmc43dUD8_M8KLvwEkHt2wrlzqA5_UdWLCpQobQOSB7W7t0LkfsVyahOWk/s1600/press_release_distribution_0110865_13907.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8lDsKDhdnz_G7W9A7dJIdN0FjjpDhyVxCuF4g5Z4Te_Wnt-3kN5a4bjbqH2mh_gJW8r4A1VGnXNK6nRdARmc43dUD8_M8KLvwEkHt2wrlzqA5_UdWLCpQobQOSB7W7t0LkfsVyahOWk/s320/press_release_distribution_0110865_13907.jpg" width="320" /></a>In 1999, came the final two companies, Action Xtreme, with <i>Alien Arsenal, </i>a so-called 'loose remake' of <i>Laserblast</i>, and <i>Murdercycle.</i> The second company here was originally called Alchemy Entertainment, but was quickly name changed to Big City Pictures, which was were band wanted to place the 'urban' (read that: minority) centered horror films, such as clown franchise <i>Killjoy</i>. All of the aforementioned companies were defunct as of 2002, so everything since then that would fall under one of those categories has been released under the Full Moon banner. And here starts the real horrorshow. You see, now that all of these crazy rebranding experiments were over, Band had became somewhat disillusioned with the film making process as a whole, citing 'corporate Hollywood control', as the impetus behind his self imposed exile for a short time. He even went so far as to temporarily rebrand Full Moon as Shadow Pictures, stating that he felt that the studio's current work(including a 2002 release of the 1977 horror film Death Bed: The Bed that Eats), was straying too far away from the content the film house was known for. He was somewhat right, but it was still a rather pretentious move on his part. Soon, however, he came out of his funk, and did it by going into full douchebag mode: Every film release since Band's return has to fully controlled by him, every step of the way, as he now produces AND directs every film Full Moon releases. And, since it has the Full Moon name again, one can conclude that he is now happy that the current direction of the studio is now in line with the previous vision. To this I can only say: REALLY? <i>Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong?</i> <i>Decadent Evil 2?</i> <i>The Gingerdead Man </i>and IT's two sequels? While some of the recent films have some sparks of the original Charles Band (<i>Gingerdead Man's</i> casting of Gary Busey as a prime example), when Full Moon stopped being releasing low-budget indie flicks with great horror or sci-fi premises, and instead became Charles Band's self-masturbatory Vanity Project House, everything it touched became tainted. Even it's rich history. Full Moon's name may go on releasing films for another 40 years(Band himself will that hallmark soon.), the studio is dead, and until Band grows up, and goes back to the film making that made him actually good, for the genre and the market, in my opinion, dead Full Moon will stay.<br />
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Oh, and a weird side note, Charles Band is the father of Alex Band, of the band <i>The Calling</i>. You may know their <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAP9AF6DCu4&ob=av2e">one major hit song</a>. Alex has since moved on, and has started a solo music career in 2010. I mention it because he is now my main hope that something of some artistic substance can come out of this family.Booghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01145715311937911358noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-83823354744678008182011-09-02T22:52:00.001-06:002011-09-02T22:52:15.540-06:00Flicks Picks 26: Demonic Toys<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUqCSZ1J6l7ct5giFZO4lE62J0-WDsv6x4fkhuxJ5jemzLF9ljIf1nh7E1abGHw4CV4ZjERt1EgdJigHmalbi_rbmILMw23V7xfHdXRuaXPUT_NDILcHvY989j6fQG90wsHFBXIad2ZZQ/s1600/demonic2520toys2520poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUqCSZ1J6l7ct5giFZO4lE62J0-WDsv6x4fkhuxJ5jemzLF9ljIf1nh7E1abGHw4CV4ZjERt1EgdJigHmalbi_rbmILMw23V7xfHdXRuaXPUT_NDILcHvY989j6fQG90wsHFBXIad2ZZQ/s320/demonic2520toys2520poster.jpg" width="227" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This poster, genuinely scares me.</td></tr>
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Hello, Streaker! Boog here, with part four of four film reviews from Full Moon Entertainment, and therefore, from Charles Band. This time I bring you <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH6fokAYjMQ">Demonic Toys</a>, released in 1992. It's one of Full Moon's most well known works, and, along with their <i>Puppet Master</i> films, are one of the reasons this film company is still around. Now, Here comes the SPOLIERS warning: this review contains some plot of the aforementioned film, and a disturbing amount of personal honesty. Now, on to the review.<br />
First, however, I should tell you something. Pediophobia. It is, in layman's terms, the fear of dolls. In fact, the fear of anything that 'falsely resembles or represents life', such as mannequins, baby dolls, even robots and/or action figures and Barbie dolls, to an extent. You see, I have this phobia. And while I CAN logically disconnect from action figures, and any toy from a cartoon, as they don't represent anything 'real', mannequins creep me out, and I ABSOLUTELY cannot be in the same room with even one porcelain doll without creating a mental checklist of all exits, and all possible human shields I can use to make my escape. I tell you this, so that you can know that when I call this movie scary, it is because I honestly find the concept of random generic toys like teddy bears and jack-in-the-boxes coming to life to eat my face off not only terrifying, but possible, despite all logic. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgLn9jikHQ1wZIUIUIW8Y0vfapjnIZ7xVnaDcZ5jTy5BPYU-1p8tqI51NReAO-2H_UJK6Z_F2RDmAeydKP7E8ArR0ZNTlCN2qzUqlzTwAjaAOLcPLqR_u5g9_Pb6m7Klp_TfFDSVCTn8/s1600/DemonicToys003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgLn9jikHQ1wZIUIUIW8Y0vfapjnIZ7xVnaDcZ5jTy5BPYU-1p8tqI51NReAO-2H_UJK6Z_F2RDmAeydKP7E8ArR0ZNTlCN2qzUqlzTwAjaAOLcPLqR_u5g9_Pb6m7Klp_TfFDSVCTn8/s320/DemonicToys003.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WHY? It's scary enough, why does it need a rattle?</td></tr>
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There. Enjoy my nightmares. Now, this film is surprising. Not in that has any real twists, because it doesn't, but it that, now hear me out, except for the premise of how the Demonic presence animating the toys got to where the film takes place, the movie isn't all that bad. First, the main character is played by Tracy Scroggins, who had a stint in <i>Babylon 5</i>, and is for the most part here doing her damnedest to pull off a Linda Hamilton impression, ala <i>Terminator.</i> The rest of the cast is okay, and the script, while nothing to write home about(HA!), has two interesting things going for it. One, the script was written in 8 days, based off of a promotional poster. All things considered, I think that a script got done at ALL under those conditions is amazing. Second, the script for this film was written by David S. Goyer. Yes, as in the David S. Goyer who wrote all three <i>Blade </i>films, directed <i>Blade: Trinity</i>, and then followed that up by following some guy named Nolan around, I think to write some scripts about some dude who dresses up in a bat costume. (Note: /sarcasm) So yeah, had to do it in 8 days, off of a poster. Yeah, therefore, some of the dialogue is godawful, and cliched. But, some of the dialogue is pretty good, even funny, at times, and the main character is at least decently written for once.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ZkNwZQ6yDfSKpA7ClGOsChy9ZPDtN6GBqyJw3ov9ZokB-SaJb4KBy1ahlKoatfXLM4kQN2hw5iyyErrztrcpdwQ4fEEPjbwKI6CDaWDzLacQIT9ZkrG5Z-vQQkBusdaOX-HOBHVWV7M/s1600/003-300x192.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ZkNwZQ6yDfSKpA7ClGOsChy9ZPDtN6GBqyJw3ov9ZokB-SaJb4KBy1ahlKoatfXLM4kQN2hw5iyyErrztrcpdwQ4fEEPjbwKI6CDaWDzLacQIT9ZkrG5Z-vQQkBusdaOX-HOBHVWV7M/s1600/003-300x192.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'd say kill it with fire, but this was after fire was tried.</td></tr>
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Now, on to the effects. Here is where this film actually polishes up a bit. Full Moon has always been known for films with miniature killers, and this film is one of the reason why. The various effect levels are off putting at first, as this film has two kinda obvious hand puppets, (jack-in-the-box, teddy bear), but then also has animatronics (baby doll, robot), and even some damn good stop motion (toy soldier, letter blocks), but, the hand puppets are well made, the animatronics are good, and, as stated previously, the stop motion is really good. The effects budget in this film is one of the reasons it shall always remain nightmare fuel for me. Now, on to the bad parts of the film. First, we have to believe that a police department would allow partners to be, well 'partners'. You see, Scoggins and her partner, who are now going to be called Fucknuts and Hooch, are so bad at showing us they're cops I didn't figure it out until Hooch (scroggins), said 'You have your piece right?' Which was about, a minute and a half into their conversation. Oh, and Hooch mentions she's pregnant, and Fucknuts is the father. So, Fucknuts and Hooch are in this dark alley as part of a sting operation (a sting involving ONLY Fucknuts and Hooch, no other other officers, or dispatchers, or really any law enforcement of any kind) to catch some gun smugglers. And by gun smugglers, I mean two. Driving a crappy car, and dealing from the trunk. FNuts pulls his gun prematurely, and shoots Gun Runner A, wounding him, but then gets shot by Lincoln, aka Gun Runner B, which kills him. Poor FNuts. We shall miss you. Hooch overacts like hell, then gives chase as GRB runs off, with GRA following. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfmlMKYk-gwqKucD2wYMxuFshy1ZYJLXHJkzHAHqEuGnsYktLOkGSBCjIOrVIppydtjZQtI5EQXaXogkiUEDTV4HcocZzk1yU4RZgVcR0hK5K15Al8rpTdavy9KgnK8q2hpDDwfE76xV0/s1600/demonic-toys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfmlMKYk-gwqKucD2wYMxuFshy1ZYJLXHJkzHAHqEuGnsYktLOkGSBCjIOrVIppydtjZQtI5EQXaXogkiUEDTV4HcocZzk1yU4RZgVcR0hK5K15Al8rpTdavy9KgnK8q2hpDDwfE76xV0/s320/demonic-toys.jpg" width="320" /></a> Eventually Hooch catches GRB, and cuffs him. GRA, having avoided being seen, manages to crawl off to some dark corner, only to find that it contains some kind of evil energy, using his blood to fuel dark magic, animating four toys (well, five, but we'll get to that) that promptly kill him. Poor Gun Runner A. Oh well. Hooch and GRB get locked in the room they're in as the door gets slammed shut by some unseen force. We then get introduced to Charnetski, who, if you haven't seen a film like this before, I'll rename for you, as Comic Relief Dead Meat, or Fat Guy. Fat Guy, while watching TV (looped footage of a single kill from <i>Puppet Master 2</i>, another Full Moon release), and reading a porn mag, calls up the local chicken joint to order some food, where we get introduced to out hero, kind of, in the form of the delivery boy. Delivery Boy shows up, and thanks to his penchant for loud rock music, doesn't hear Hooch screaming at him merely a floor above. He gives Fat Guy his food, and they talk for awhile, until Hooch gets mad at GRB during an argument and shoots at the ceiling multiple times, bringing Fat Guy and Delivery Boy to their rescue. Here is where the film really begins, as everything up to this point has been setup for 'locked/trapped' horror scenario about to begin. Fat Guy, having served his purpose in bring Delivery Boy to Hooch, goes of to die-I mean, phone for back up for Hooch from his office. While watching at the door, Delivery Boy sees a teddy bear ambush Fat Guy by hitting him in the knees with a baseball bat, a baby doll grab Fat Guy's gun off the floor and shoot him in the knee, and then watch the bear and the jack-in-the-box chew on his face and choke him while the baby dolls stabs him repeatedly in the crotch. Poor Fat Guy. Hooch, having not seen the carnage, doesn't believe the title of the movie is real until the REG pops in from an air conditioning duct, prompting stop motion letter blocks that have a short conversation with the group, kinda like a Ouija Board. Oh, what's REG mean? It stands for Random Exposition Goblin, an ancillary character that only exists to explain or reiterate plot points until they are no longer needed. In this case, nailing the point home that the toys are, in fact, alive, and demonic. Hooch, after a quick talk with Delivery Boy, decides the best course of action is to send the Boy and the REG through the A/C ducts to Fat Guy's office, not to call for backup, but to open the freight door Delivery Boy used to bring the Chicken Mobile in, so they can escape. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2Cg_JaUsyNFgPyxT-Vg5m2TMlNy_j_1BG5jav_eBt2epknTj0JeLZA__JXW5lGOPqvSTVjHFzgA0n-eQs9-uOVexi2o9kIrRsgltW7YUu47p9WqEU-GKv9P6enxFntfMcdKUL0E2Yok/s1600/demonic-toys-300x204.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2Cg_JaUsyNFgPyxT-Vg5m2TMlNy_j_1BG5jav_eBt2epknTj0JeLZA__JXW5lGOPqvSTVjHFzgA0n-eQs9-uOVexi2o9kIrRsgltW7YUu47p9WqEU-GKv9P6enxFntfMcdKUL0E2Yok/s1600/demonic-toys-300x204.jpg" /></a>While in the vents, the REG explains that, along with the toys, there is this small group of hallucinations that manifest as women, on trikes, wearing gas masks, that act like a kind of patrol for the killer toys. Having now explained everything her character was written to explain, they get attacked, and chased into Fat Guy's office, where we see that all the equipment has been destroyed, making it impossible to leave. Delivery Boy gets a shotgun, and the REG is stabbed in the eye repeatedly by the baby doll, killing her. Poor REG. While this is going on, we find out why the REG isn't psychic, which they usually are in horror films. Hooch, while watching the cuffed GRB, gets pulled into a hallucinatory landscape by the true evil of the film, the demon animating the toys, who takes the form of a small boy. This same small boy would eventually be cast as the leader of the titular children for <i>Children of The Corn 3,</i> so he can act somewhat creepy. You see, it is now the demon's turn to do some explaining. He tells Hooch that he has been waiting in this warehouse for 66 years for something to come along and free him. You see, 66 years ago, he tried to be born in the flesh, cause hell on earth, but failed, the body being stillborn. The old couple running the smallest satanic cult ever then foisted off the stillborn child on the first group of trick-or-treaters to come by it was Halloween, of course), claiming it was better than candy, and spouting some shit that should have gotten them arrested, regardless of the decade. The kids, all apparently homeless despite their costumes, decide to open their loot at an construction site, whereupon, finding the dead baby, they throw it away from them, where it falls in a shallow hole. That is the explanation as to why the demonic presence is here, and these toy are alive. Because now, the toys need to kill all the people but Hooch, as since she's pregnant, the demon will use the power he gains from the victim's blood to 'hijack' the baby's soul, thus being born in already formed baby, rather than trying from scratch like last time. Hooch wakes up from the exposition to find GRB attacking Delivery Boy, so she shoots him in the head. Poor GRB. Then some other stuff happens, including the Teddy Bear growing to human size, and nearly killing Delivery Boy (Twice), Hooch and Boy going on a toy killing spree and Hooch being saved from the demon by a toy soldier while Delivery Boy kills the Teddy Bear with the Chicken Moblie. You see, in an somewhat predictable, but still interesting twist, the spirit of Hooch's unborn child, not wanting his mother to be hurt, hitched a ride on the demonic energy to animate the toy soldier, biding his time until he strike when the demon least expected it. Thus ends this movie, and man am I thankful for it. While there are some good, even great things here, the overall execution is still kinda poor, and rather rushed. So, in closing, never play with <i>Demonic Toys</i>.Booghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01145715311937911358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-92080759076336113292011-09-01T01:16:00.002-06:002011-09-01T01:16:32.609-06:00Flick Picks 25: Decadent Evil<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5EPzobygXTgkIjb9U-Ppxc78DDd20Bxdo4nzroCaZePlzYK0MPIBSbhRcIG82VqowemTxWQvO1lVqy_Frja_9e62YANPkHgSldZjP7vSJrLhgCfvneTYj2M9n-bJX7_l4HNUxxBh_Svo/s1600/Decadent-Evil-Affiche.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5EPzobygXTgkIjb9U-Ppxc78DDd20Bxdo4nzroCaZePlzYK0MPIBSbhRcIG82VqowemTxWQvO1lVqy_Frja_9e62YANPkHgSldZjP7vSJrLhgCfvneTYj2M9n-bJX7_l4HNUxxBh_Svo/s320/Decadent-Evil-Affiche.jpg" width="242" /></a></div>
Hello Streakers! Boog here, only slightly late with the third review of the four review series, a Full Moon straight to video feature from 2005, <a href="http://www.videodetective.com/movies/trailers/decadent-evil-trailer/117132">Decadent Evil.</a>Well, let's see, as far as SPOLIERS go, we get Phil Fondacaro again, as apparently Charles Band has this guy on retainer. Here he's a vampire hunter. Not kidding, has a freaking fedora and everything. We also get two other Full Moon cliches in full force: Puppets, and nudity.You see, as I continue watching these films, it becomes obvious to me that Charles Band is not a man that cares for his audience. He doesn't want to make films that are actually entertaining. He wants to make films so he can film nude scenes. And make toys. Hence the puppets, tailor made for toy translation, and merchandising rights. As he has yet to make a film with a puppet that he hasn't made into a toy, my theory stands proven. Charles Band is a parody of bad film-making. He's what most of think bad filmmakers are when watch the truly bad stuff. And as I go into this film, you'll find I have a lot of proof to back this up.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXShU7hlIAk0xC7o2Y8DesoaxKcqCwfm1L0TImo4d8XqoN-0q_hLM8uQLU_Ibh7F73j1GEXLEulZQ3QzImwaJbsLL0eMxmjghqhyWQlyn9xoFJQjz7hW7E01_8PH2JWA9ISF8hmF8-LHU/s1600/vlcsnap-2011-03-21-15h33m30s180.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXShU7hlIAk0xC7o2Y8DesoaxKcqCwfm1L0TImo4d8XqoN-0q_hLM8uQLU_Ibh7F73j1GEXLEulZQ3QzImwaJbsLL0eMxmjghqhyWQlyn9xoFJQjz7hW7E01_8PH2JWA9ISF8hmF8-LHU/s320/vlcsnap-2011-03-21-15h33m30s180.png" width="320" /></a></div>
Yeah, cheating a little bit with the pics this time. But I'm using this shot for a reason. First of all, there are three minutes of opening, with the credits being tacked on to stock footage from another Full Moon Picture, 1997's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120428/">Vampire Journals</a>, which itself is a spin off from ANOTHER Full Moon vampire franchise, started in 1991, called <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103002/">Subspecies</a>. so, for those keeping track, this is a film being loosely tied to another vampire film from 8 years before it, that was itself based on events from 3 previous films from 6 years before THAT.Confused yet? As seems to be the case, <i>Subspecies</i> actually seems to be well liked as a good example of vampire characterization in film, but this film... Where do I begin? After the three minute opening, we waste a whole 13 minutes on a couple in a strip joint, only to have come to a house and die, introducing the villain of the piece, the vampiress Morella. We also get introduced to Morella's vampire children, strippers named Sugar and Spyce. Not that's not a misspelling, that's the actual name. And guess what? Sugar's in love with a human. God, I could use the cliches in this film to choke an elephant. So, 16 minutes have passed, and we still have no idea what's happening. We spend another ten minutes establishing that Sugar and Spyce live with Morella, the DJ at the strip club that Sugar loves is named Dex, and Spyce likes finding idiots online to eat, even luring them to the Fu- REALLY? The FULL MOON HOTEL? Are you truly that intellectually bankrupt, movie? Well, whatever. About 32 minutes in, Dex is visited by Phil Fondacaro, who quickly(and I mean, quickly) gives him the run down on Sugar and Spyce being vamps and working for Morella, which he seems to take pretty damn well, all things considered. At the film's 40 minute mark, everyone important to the plot has gathered at Morella's house, and the stakes are finally revealed: First, every vampire bloodline is different, which is actually the only plus the script has for me. If this film was any good, that part would the sequel(there is one), worth watching for me, as I, for one, like it when vampire films take this route. You see, it make sense from a logical standpoint. Why, when there are so many different kinds of human beings out there, should a race of parasites, that procreates through human beings, be exactly the same? It's like saying that all dogs should act like Chihuahuas or something. It makes a creature we already know, and are afraid of, do things we've never seen it do before, with out alienating the audience.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi08yxeR2y7qtOPCmc4bu0mHBMVKxMUWa6BICugocFAQ-RcSVDPp71V5D6wuxwbGiyGgTvgKvEJ-K86X5fCzVORnsuje0dW4zWmEECr4So3igsVrr-BYe1IvsLppmJiFlbpdrBDfunMWXE/s1600/decadent-evil-flickchick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi08yxeR2y7qtOPCmc4bu0mHBMVKxMUWa6BICugocFAQ-RcSVDPp71V5D6wuxwbGiyGgTvgKvEJ-K86X5fCzVORnsuje0dW4zWmEECr4So3igsVrr-BYe1IvsLppmJiFlbpdrBDfunMWXE/s1600/decadent-evil-flickchick.jpg" /></a>That said, there are still some stupid bits in here, but oh well. Second, there is an end goal for vampire existence. This I don't agree with so much, as again, I prefer the vampires as variable, changing beings, with their reason being their own, and not some cookie cutter premise to make sequels. But I digress. The end goal is 10,000. 10,000 souls, to be exact, souls extracted from 'primal blood', also know as the blood from the first arterial spray brought on through a fang bite. You see, with the couple from the padded out opening, and a porn star brought in to add more tits, Morella's at 9,998. Not that I care much though, as she, like everyone else here, just isn't that interesting. We get some more dialogue, pointless at this point, and Fondacaro kills Spyce.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT-JU_1CbtQpzNR3k2Q93hVsLQNOSdP1QzE_SViWKP7gAg_NQvuIgpwwFm_bEeFXu41ZwwZP3Edf-7HMXu7JDrYB6ZhC1Yjh_hmTDiJd0_pzvX0a21fkxt1iCVCNFnGQuFrIOHGEV_nvE/s1600/003444_24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT-JU_1CbtQpzNR3k2Q93hVsLQNOSdP1QzE_SViWKP7gAg_NQvuIgpwwFm_bEeFXu41ZwwZP3Edf-7HMXu7JDrYB6ZhC1Yjh_hmTDiJd0_pzvX0a21fkxt1iCVCNFnGQuFrIOHGEV_nvE/s1600/003444_24.jpg" /></a>Morella, dragging Dex into the final showdown room, finds Spyce dead, and promptly beats Fondacaro's character easily. Fondacaro, who had mentioned briefly before about trying to get revenge for his father, figures out that Marvin, this film's puppet, actually is his father, whom Morella keeps in a cage after turning him into a creature because he hurt her at some point in the past. Fondacaro after talking with his father for a bit, takes some of his blood into himself, which is important. Morella, then kills him. But, as it turns out, that was the plan, because, by drinking the blood of a puppet creature, you turn into one. Except Fondacaro doesn't, but oh well, it defeats the bad guy, so yeah. Then we start the 6 minutes of end credits, only to figure out that this film has a runtime of 67 minutes. Minus the padded opening, the bit with the pornstar that was also padding, and the end credits, we are left with about 40 minutes of actual film, of which maybe 5 is used for plot development, the rest is for stilted dialogue and rather hamfisted character development, none of which does anything, as the runtime is so short we don't get to connect to any of the characters in any real way.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixHAcgAxcJDfz_n0uSy_WNpze2gfnEHDrmysHvHgIl-0JgCh0x0AQmCrAuI5mtzBs7U9YB-vMKYUk_-zjoANfXgq_GcB9OxU9DXh9Z4oBXD5sImeMpN5yvcudPACWHVbe8wEDyMrkPbrQ/s1600/movdecadentevil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixHAcgAxcJDfz_n0uSy_WNpze2gfnEHDrmysHvHgIl-0JgCh0x0AQmCrAuI5mtzBs7U9YB-vMKYUk_-zjoANfXgq_GcB9OxU9DXh9Z4oBXD5sImeMpN5yvcudPACWHVbe8wEDyMrkPbrQ/s320/movdecadentevil.jpg" width="320" /></a>Basically, the script, while it had a couple of good points, was nothing special, the characters bland, the performances just enough to call it acting, when it wasn't hammy villain preening. The music here is even pretty bad, just mostly being some basic electronica, if it was usable as elevator music. All in all, <i>Decadent Evil</i> is neither, and should be avoided at all costs. Booghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01145715311937911358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-6754112057486993932011-08-31T14:45:00.001-06:002011-09-01T23:55:57.429-06:00Forgotten Worlds - Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigJQBJ4aPSWuq_rWrmN4yJStekyuI2ooU4s3sCF2Ja6SYaNxyN2yScFw8H_IxP5RvVr9FG2gwNhKD1CpWfjcUHaAV9OdsNhFmCWdvdVdNPYi_psEw1MUhh-ekWpKQlsaPKC9D4yJ29PNk/s1600/ForgottenWorlds08.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigJQBJ4aPSWuq_rWrmN4yJStekyuI2ooU4s3sCF2Ja6SYaNxyN2yScFw8H_IxP5RvVr9FG2gwNhKD1CpWfjcUHaAV9OdsNhFmCWdvdVdNPYi_psEw1MUhh-ekWpKQlsaPKC9D4yJ29PNk/s1600/ForgottenWorlds08.gif" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
I may be a bit late on this tidbit, but I recently found a website from Namco Bandai that allows you to play the world's biggest game of <i>Pac-Man</i>. Basically, it's a version of <i>Pac-Man</i> that is swelling with user created levels and continues to grow. You can even create your own personalized levels and add to the collection. I created a level based on another Namco classic celebrating its 30th anniversary (as if you need to guess). Start out with my custom level <a href="http://worldsbiggestpacman.com/play/#109,-109">here</a>, then create and explore this enormous <i>Pac-Man</i> game to your heart's content.<br />
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Fans of <i>Ms. Splosion Man</i> who have <i>Pinball FX2</i>, exclusively for XBOX 360, should check out the new pinball table based on Twisted Pixel's explosive valley girl. Download the trial version for free (<i>Pinball FX2</i> is also free to download, if you don't have it, yet) and play it for yourself.<br />
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Also available, this week, is a collection of one of the most controversial arcade franchises in history. <i>Mortal Kombat</i> has been showering gamers with blood and gore since 1992 (which means it's one year short of its 20th anniversary). Since then, the series has had its ups and downs. Sure, there have been some decent games after the first three, but they couldn't recapture the awesomeness of the original games. They tried adding weapons, multiple fighting styles, crossovers with comic book superheroes (which was a stupid idea), and even offshoot games (which was even worse). Nothing could completely win over gamers quite like the original trilogy.<br />
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When Midway went out of business, <i>Mortal Kombat</i> seemed to die with it, until Warner Bros. picked up the intellectual property and Ed Boon worked on resuscitating the franchise with a more back-to-basics approach that returned, somewhat, to the original style of gameplay, but pushed the envelope on the characteristic gore and brutality that made the series extremely popular back in the day.<br />
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This week, NetherRealm studios (the team that was reborn from the ashes of Midway Games) released a downloadable collection of the first three <i>Mortal Kombat</i> games: <i>Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection</i>. Sure, all three of these games have been available in previous arcade classic collections, but this one adds loads more extras, such as new visual modes (including one that makes it look like you're playing the game on a curved CRT monitor, giving you the feeling of being back in the old arcades. On top of the cosmetic extras, you can play against people online, which seems to be a must for fighting games, these days.<br />
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I played the demo of this collection and it brought back memories, for me. Back in those days, <i>Mortal Kombat</i> introduced a different style of fighting game. Most fighting games used to be clones of <i>Street Fighter II</i>, which dominated arcades the year before. <i>Mortal Kombat</i> was different in many ways. Aside from the obvious, the game used a different control scheme; there were high and low attacks for both kicks and punches, plus a block button. You had to enter a button combination to pull off the famous Fatalities. There were secrets and Easter eggs to uncover during gameplay. It was an entirely new philosophy on how to create a fighting game.<br />
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I remember seeing <i>Mortal Kombat</i> for the first time at the local bowling alley and it blew my mind. I watched my brother and my friends play it (I actually sucked at <i>Mortal Kombat</i>, since I was more accustomed to <i>Street Fighter II</i>). The game had this irresistible combination of digitized sprites of real actors, uncensored violence and brutality, and a story and atmosphere that reminded me of <i>Enter the Dragon</i>.<br />
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Of course, when the game was announced for home systems, my brother and I had to have it. Unfortunately, there was a reason why arcades were still doing pretty well during the early '90s: ports of arcade games remained inferior to the originals. <i>Mortal Kombat</i> was no exception. We got the Super Nintendo version of the game and were extremely disappointed in the result. All of the awesome crap was watered down. They changed the blood to look like sweat (though it looked like the characters were bleeding sand) and the Fatalities were heavily doctored. Nintendo's censorship in their games ruined what could have been a great port. Even though Sega had no problem with the blood and gore, the godawful graphics and sound screwed up the Genesis port. It was best just to stick with the arcade version.<br />
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1993 saw the rise of <i>Mortal Kombat II</i>, which improved upon every aspect of the original. Better graphics and sound, new characters, new moves and Fatalities (including Babalities and Friendships, which made fun of the controversy surrounding the first game). Gone was the storyline of a Shaolin tournament taken over by a shapeshifting mastermind, which was replaced by a fight against an inter-dimensional warlord and his cadre of fighters, sorcerers, and assassins. By this point, the story wasn't so convoluted and ridiculous yet, so I actually enjoyed it. The otherworldly aspects of the setting were kind of cool. Of course, my brother and I got this on the Super Nintendo, but only because they recanted their stance on censorship. This port of <i>MK II</i> left all the blood and violence in, much to the delight of many gamers.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEV5guF1DybPmXMb2SQO6KY1NRpB7PZdQkeO3oADmTnF9cGbWyM3wFvBmrs8tepi782SLJF5F2J__yaVCiaflLjXiJXCz5qMsNTu9XvUVOJee3jEs7W-kqeUWFzJzjBQ544U_tfqUVdkA/s1600/MortalKombatF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEV5guF1DybPmXMb2SQO6KY1NRpB7PZdQkeO3oADmTnF9cGbWyM3wFvBmrs8tepi782SLJF5F2J__yaVCiaflLjXiJXCz5qMsNTu9XvUVOJee3jEs7W-kqeUWFzJzjBQ544U_tfqUVdkA/s400/MortalKombatF.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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Then came <i>Mortal Kombat 3</i> and <i>Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3</i> (which became the definitive version), which felt like a step down, in some ways. A lot of things changed in the two years since <i>MK II</i>. The game became extremely dependent on doing combos, which kind of distanced me further from the fighting engine. Even more characters were added to the roster, which tangled the storyline with a bunch of subplots. The graphics were better than the first two, but the stages and new characters felt uninspired. I'll admit, it was still enjoyable to watch, but it wasn't as fun as the first two games.<br />
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After <i>Mortal Kombat 4</i>, a lot of gamers abandoned the series. By this point, the story was too involved with too many characters that it was not worth following. It also didn't help that things were getting stale, gameplay-wise. I've played some of the console sequels, like <i>Armageddon</i>, but it just wasn't the same.<br />
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That's why it's refreshing to have this collection of the first three games available. While I still suck at them, it does remind me of a young gamer who used to ride his bike down the street to play all the new arcade games. The hell with Quan Chi and Shinnok, screw the DC crossover, and Bo' Rai Cho can suck it. Give me the classic <i>MK</i> trilogy any day.Anacronushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15835168025096871205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-91039530920960247282011-08-30T22:17:00.003-06:002011-08-30T22:18:19.811-06:00Flick Picks 24: Meridian<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYuZYpENk-2zjhWiGVgb405f_ufRhAJP6Xx2vXSR7_xUFozRE0MAbnRt-53vUErkN3L5-wy0h7Wvko9_FMdYwoDP_7mpPQXPj-n07FKWriuCKZB84z5Q9-m4yiJk34fWr-u5B0dk_5LL8/s1600/meridian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYuZYpENk-2zjhWiGVgb405f_ufRhAJP6Xx2vXSR7_xUFozRE0MAbnRt-53vUErkN3L5-wy0h7Wvko9_FMdYwoDP_7mpPQXPj-n07FKWriuCKZB84z5Q9-m4yiJk34fWr-u5B0dk_5LL8/s320/meridian.jpg" width="219" /></a>Hello Again, Streakers! Boog here, with part two of a four part review series, focusing on horror film company Full Moon Entertainment. From 2006, we go back to 1990, and one of Full Moon's first feature films, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5Hd86_beeY">Meridian</a>. Also called Kiss of the Beast. Warning: The trailer link, while not showing any naughty bits, still features nudity, as the film has a good amount of nudity in it. Also, SPOILERS! Now, I must say, as someone who has seen a few Full Moon features, I will admit that there is only one of the four films I'm reviewing for this series that I have seen previously (Demonic Toys), and that one I watched once about 6 years ago. This film, is far better than most Full Moon pictures, as it has somewhat decent acting talent, a great locale, and some decent behind the camera work, especially in the music department. However, this also one of the deplorable films I have ever had the displeasure of watching. Seriously. This film, based on one scene, made me want to actually hurt something. Then, this film had the balls to try and make that scene a freaking plot point.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLDGYJAAqPWNVoqyVTyE4ZRSKnraFCUPJRRmkEiZnFoM2ZHybdTMngnP-6v5XGgNxbJ3-aVYtc4oDdn3BNkR7V-Kx9G-Tr6twaIBU0nF02PTTxJdKFJ31cCB47FcgVF94IqskS7YC2Iw0/s1600/meridian4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLDGYJAAqPWNVoqyVTyE4ZRSKnraFCUPJRRmkEiZnFoM2ZHybdTMngnP-6v5XGgNxbJ3-aVYtc4oDdn3BNkR7V-Kx9G-Tr6twaIBU0nF02PTTxJdKFJ31cCB47FcgVF94IqskS7YC2Iw0/s320/meridian4.jpg" width="320" /></a> Okay, so the film opens on cheesy mid 80s black title cards with a white font out of every other movie from that era with a budget of more than $5, intercut with some closeups of some kinda creepy statues, the last couple of which get glowing eyes for no real reason, as they are never actually relevant, or even brought up. Then we get a kinda trippy slow motion sequence of a bunch of circus sideshow folk parading one at a time from a backlit giant stone mouth. We don't get any context for this for about 25 minutes. Of an 82 minute movie. What does happen for that 25 minutes? Well, first we get a young boy child taking a painting to a church, leaving as a donation from some lady from a nearby castle. This is done primarily to cement the fact that this film takes place in Italy. The priest at first dismisses it as worthless, but one of the other people in the church notes that the frame is very old, and so there should be an equally old painting underneath the rather crappy pastoral landscape it currently houses. The priest then takes the painting to a restoration facility, where we get introduced to a side character, Gina. She, being an American just out of college, is of course the best restoration talent this firm has, as is told to get that particular painting done that weekend. It's implied that this conversation is occurring on a Thursday or Friday, and the restoration has to be done by Monday, so that the painting can be presented to a visiting cardinal as part of a church restoration. Apparently a 400 year old painting can be restored over a weekend. Well, that doesn't matter, as Gina takes a day off anyway to visit her friend, Catherine, the main character. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQCJ3SVkD3ioDAf6G1nGMFW5Gm2yk6ZL-GdnJEOkZSgqjmGza0_X0hZsUR-lsXEX2qkKt09gNYShVuRuM8QTvTHyyrQokgKaoAQhiev-0ZQY6Eeo2U2xPGIsomm-SAxU1xHNEGei8nA_8/s1600/meridian3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQCJ3SVkD3ioDAf6G1nGMFW5Gm2yk6ZL-GdnJEOkZSgqjmGza0_X0hZsUR-lsXEX2qkKt09gNYShVuRuM8QTvTHyyrQokgKaoAQhiev-0ZQY6Eeo2U2xPGIsomm-SAxU1xHNEGei8nA_8/s320/meridian3.jpg" width="320" /></a>Catherine, as it turns out, has just returned to Italy, having been away for 10 years, to take control of, and now care for, her family inheritance: a freaking CASTLE. When Catherine arrives, she is greeted my Martha, her old nanny, and apparently the only help that stayed after Catherine's father died. We get some boring talk from the two, then Gina arrives. We get some more boring talk, and then, we get the context for the opening, as Gina notices a traveling circus troupe has set up shop on the grounds outside, and coerces Catherine into going. Along the way the two get a slight character development talk, as they walk through an Italian landmark know as Bomarzo Monster Park, a really interesting site, with all kinds of weird statues of monsters and mythological creatures. They even try to give it a backstory, claiming a legend of a wizard that once roamed the grounds and turned all his enemies to stone, displaying them there as proof of his power. Seriously, if all Full Moon films managed to pull off even half of the atmosphere that <i>Meridian</i> has brings to the table, I wouldn't hate this film house as much as I do. The two women get eventually get to the performance, where we see the circus troupe that slow-mo-ed into the movie including Phil Fondacaro again, this time wearing a ridiculous 16th century-esque bard getup and cracking a whip about three times to big for him. We also get to a magician, whose name we don't learn quite yet. Gina gets picked from the crowd as a volunteer, gets knives thrown at her, and the show ends. As everyone is dispersing, Gina convinces Catherine to go inside, moving the plot along. The girls talk with the magician, who seems rather interested in Catherine, as it is revealed to him that she is now the lady of the castle, and Gina moves the plot along again by inviting the magician and his troupe to dinner.<br />
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We immediately cut to the dinner party, where the group of carnies eats with just about as much manners as you'd expect. Martha excuses herself for the evening, and then comes the the thing I hate most in this movie. After Martha leaves, the magician has Fondacaro's character drug the wine, so that we can nude scenes, damn near soft core porn scenes, with both of the women via DATE RAPE. Now, let me say this. I am a redblooded straight male. Nudity in films I don't see as a bad thing. Done right it can even add to a film without being trashy. That said, date rape is just about the most deplorable, stupid, and downright transparent reasonings behind a nude scene I could ever think of. That's not the worst thing about this film though. During the nude scene, the magician, having practically smacked Catherine damn near unconscious, leaves the room, and turns her over to a robed, masked figure we have seen before among the carnies, as a wielder of a crossbow. The mask comes off, revealing the robed figure as a twin for the magician. This twin, now with Catherine, turns into a large, hairy creature in the middle of the scene, even comically screaming as he, well, does his thing. The two women wake up afterward, nor remembering anything about what happened, and Gina leaves, for the rest of the of the film. Seriously. She does nothing else for the rest of the movie. Oh, wait, she does have 5 seconds of screen business during the climax. But that's it. The rest of the film becomes a slow, plodding, melodramatic mess, as we learn the names of the twins, both evil and good (Laurence and Oliver. I'm not kidding), and the fact that they have been alive for hundreds of years, as part of a gypsy curse placed on the castle, and a curse placed upon the pair of them, that turns Oliver into the 'Beast' every time 'he loves', and that to break the curse on the pair, one of them has to be killed by a loved one. Oliver, due to guilt at not having prevented Laurence from killing previous 'Ladies of the Castle', always tries to get the current Lady to fall in love with him so she can kill him, because he is an idiot and a complete wuss, as evidenced by the fact that apparently every attempt to woo the current lady of house begins with the thrice-damned DATE RAPE plan. Laurence, in turn, attempts to rape Catherine twice more during the film's runtime, and admits during the films climax that he kills every woman Oliver falls in love with, in front of him, because Oliver won't try to stop him, because Laurence is apparently the world's largest Douchebag wrapped in candy coated Asshole. Most of the time before the climax, when Catherine isn't almost getting raped by Laurence, is devoted to Oliver and Catherine talking. Well, mostly Oliver deliver the previously mentioned exposition, and Catherine telling him to fuck off. Until she decides she loves him. Which occurs after an EXTREMELY awkward clothed sex scene between Catherine and Oliver in Beast mode, which is awkward mainly because it occurs after an attempted rape by Laurence. The only other thing that happens in during this time is one of the few things I really like about the movie. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ8ox2o9QpMYzP6b0DWlmAW-dwRNkXt2BNg5UZU7U0kpwfSm5XHFKr9t1bIss4WbRcZSkyU5BB2J9kuJswOFIyYkVEFjd7UBgp3ByymQNLYRhp_NTt4iSyKuEfjMkaXhXA_17LEhxSIHU/s1600/1301941251_meridian3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ8ox2o9QpMYzP6b0DWlmAW-dwRNkXt2BNg5UZU7U0kpwfSm5XHFKr9t1bIss4WbRcZSkyU5BB2J9kuJswOFIyYkVEFjd7UBgp3ByymQNLYRhp_NTt4iSyKuEfjMkaXhXA_17LEhxSIHU/s320/1301941251_meridian3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Catherine, for the most part, is freaking nuts during the middle third of the film, having visions of a dead girl, visions of the dead girl and the creature, fainting without provocation, and randomly putting on old jewelry and dresses for no reason. At one point during all this, she finds out that the painting Gina was restoring came from her castle. She tries to find Martha to ask her about it, but finds that all the furniture in Martha's room has been covered with dust blankets. Catherine eventually makes her way to the church, where the priest thanks her for the painting, and explains the best, and most unexpected, twist in the movie: Martha herself has been dead for six months. Now, this opens up a crapload of plotholes, but I do applaud this film for taking an unexpected turn, that thanks to the performances of Catherine and Martha, add some touching moments for both characters, and some character development, and in the end, enriches the film a but with its inclusion. The climax is boring and predictable, with Catherine being tricked by Laurence, and a showdown between Laurence and Oliver ending with Oliver killing Laurence, ending the curse on the pair, and somehow ending the curse on the castle as well. Overall, this film is okay, with decent performances, good music(for the era), some decent effects, the standout being the creature suit, and a completely bat-shit insane story that derails the whole damn thing into a deplorable mess. If you ever find your self traveling, try to avoid crossing too many <i>Meridians.</i>Booghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01145715311937911358noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3249758947265667633.post-51104163682938562502011-08-29T01:45:00.001-06:002011-08-30T22:24:42.808-06:00Flick Picks 23: Evil Bong<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHCSVyY22hQ-BqFHaiyXEEMCSSwo-npDXyl7m-zNZOv4cP-8kgX7SlLZreGszyzaSjc_ZovVSi2Ijj9dHssa5aqkQ6S6YGWCZu1BY5k_hPQQfrIqgEMp8VjrbL-IFDH4DcpoDGnX9Vabo/s1600/19990-evil_bong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHCSVyY22hQ-BqFHaiyXEEMCSSwo-npDXyl7m-zNZOv4cP-8kgX7SlLZreGszyzaSjc_ZovVSi2Ijj9dHssa5aqkQ6S6YGWCZu1BY5k_hPQQfrIqgEMp8VjrbL-IFDH4DcpoDGnX9Vabo/s400/19990-evil_bong.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also, This is a lie. Chong has 10 minutes on screen, tops.</td></tr>
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WARNING: The following review contains references to drugs, drug paraphernalia, and drug use. Potentially NSFW. Got that? Good.<br />
Hello, Streakers! Boog here, having taken nearly a week to get my shit together again(sorry!), bringing you another Flick Pick, the first in a series of four, that, all things being kosher and awesome, will conclude with a retrospective on the man behind the films, and his myriad of companies required to get them funded (I know of about six, I think, at the time of writing this article.). Now, on to the SPOILERS! The first film I'm reviewing this week, as evidenced by the DVD ad beside me, is 2006's <a href="http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=8197">Charles Band's Evil Bong</a>. Yeah, the director's name is actually part of the title. That should clue you in. Also, that trailer is the nicest one I could find, but still features scantily clad women. You have been warned. "But it has Tommy Chong on the cover! Holding a chainsaw! And the rest of the title is Evil Bong! It's obviously dumb, so just sit back and enjoy!" You might say. But then the opening credits start, with "visual effects" that look like they were thrown together by a five year old using a back alley copy of Photoshop 2. The song playing over it is actually pretty good, though, and proper, considering the film doesn't even try to say it's a horror film. It actually wants to market itself as a comedy, but the problem here is, it's not, really. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's your leading couple. Scared yet?</td></tr>
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The credits thankfully end, and we get introduced to our hero, the so-stereotypically-nerdy, it makes me want to burn my Star Wars DVDs Allistair, who we know is our hero, as he is the only one of the four beginning characters that DOESN"T smoke weed. He's come by to rent a space from three others, Larnell, a stereotypical stoner, Bachmann, a "surfer dude" type stoner, and Brett, a former college athlete who failed a piss test because, you guessed, he's a stoner. The plot, if it can be called that, moves right along with Larnell buying a gigantic old bong from an ad in the back of a High Times mag. The ad warns against 'bad side effects', and that the bong's previous owner had died. Larnell doesn't care, though, as his one character trait is to be 'all about the high'. One transition from the opening credits later, the bong arrives while Larnell is playing some arcade shoot-em-up cleverly disguised as <u>Super Mario World </u>for the SNES. Once out of the box, Larnell, Bachmann and Brett immediately partake, which just goes to show how little Mr. Band actually know about bongs and bong use. Not that I encourage drug use, but I do happen to know a thing or two about weed accessories. First, the 'bong' in question is a hookah, not a bong. A bong works by having the imbiber fill a receptacle with the drug of choice, light it, and then inhale from the top of the pipe apparatus, creating a vacuum, that then is inhaled by removing the recptacle containing the drug, forcing the built up smoke out the only other avenue, out of the top and into the imbiber. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvNzMPs3wfGi4oEV7dfMocrxsYpVwPNV-ZzAbAGlVu61p1UYraSkVV-5Dja9n0fJgw2vXCkF0VpSP4FDvwZjYPjAH4zy3oVbPuoDiqZdXTAT9NKxN-Uvr13Xt0g6cBy_st2P-Ckdl0uhg/s1600/EvilBong_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvNzMPs3wfGi4oEV7dfMocrxsYpVwPNV-ZzAbAGlVu61p1UYraSkVV-5Dja9n0fJgw2vXCkF0VpSP4FDvwZjYPjAH4zy3oVbPuoDiqZdXTAT9NKxN-Uvr13Xt0g6cBy_st2P-Ckdl0uhg/s320/EvilBong_1.jpg" width="320" /></a>What they have here is a hookah, which, while similar in construction, works differently, rather like smoking pipe tobacco, only through a narrow tube, and using water for a filter. Bongs also require water, which, as none is ever put in, means that it wouldn't work. However, the sound effect for water is still there, and considering the ad said it hadn't been used since 1969.... ew. Let's move on, shall we? After the initial toking, we finally get to the evil part of the title, as Bachman gets sucked into the bong, and we find that inside the bong are a bunch of pointless cameos, the first being Phil Fondarco, and if you don't know who that is, stop reading this and go watch <i>Willow</i> right now. I mean it. Then, to understand why a little person from a fantasy movie is in this schlock, go watch <i>Doll Graveyard</i>, as Fondarco's cameo is supposed to him playing the character from that film. The second part, is nudity. Lots of tits, which, I believe, Mr. Band has included in about 98% of his films to date. In fact, more screen time in this film is devoted to bare breasts than to Tommy Chong. Which is a shame, really.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibkkueU_LrxoE0drJai7zYmiRDLpkjxF8ZYgl16z9G_MRm7HDRSD_Iv7MuHnKdCxseqtOAwfH4nmtiII9bco_qTKdotdmQ6qlUX5tyorQ2fZcO5fYtayetiyv5cmpuJ_U7H1PG9m-1D3E/s1600/FullBongBongWorld.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibkkueU_LrxoE0drJai7zYmiRDLpkjxF8ZYgl16z9G_MRm7HDRSD_Iv7MuHnKdCxseqtOAwfH4nmtiII9bco_qTKdotdmQ6qlUX5tyorQ2fZcO5fYtayetiyv5cmpuJ_U7H1PG9m-1D3E/s320/FullBongBongWorld.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's your villain. Seriously.</td></tr>
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Well, Bachman dies by magic evil skull bra, and yes you read that right, and in turn, Larnell, and Brett fall victim as well, but not before introducing two females to the cast, in Luann, who is 'attached' to Brett, and Janet, who is to be the main love interest. After everyone else falls victim to the bong, Tommy Chong shows up, playing 'Jimbo', the bong's original owner from the 60s, who has finally tracked it down so he can destroy it. Allistair, now having smoked weed for the first time, is in the strip club to save Janet, and runs into old school cult horror and schlock actor Bill Moseley, who gets a special mention here thanks to the fact that his role as Otis in Rob Zombie's <i>House of 1000 Corpses</i> and <i>The Devil's Rejects</i> would give the film some more legitimacy. There's also a cameo by Tim Thomerson in here, who some of you might know as Jack Deth from the <i>Trancers</i> films, and others still may have seen him in another Full Moon Feature, <i>Dollman</i>. Here, is supposed to be Deth, but that doesn't make any sense, but then, neither does the ending. Allistair, having found Janet, gives her some instantly working vitamins, which he also takes, and they both escape while Jimbo, having succumbed to the wiles of the bong, blows up himself, and the bong's strip club world, via a bomb he had strapped to himself. Here's the kicker: Every one wakes up. Bachmann, Larnell, Brett and Luann, are all okay after the bong's destruction. Jimbo, as a consolation prize, now runs the metaphysical strip club in the bong's place. Now, I don't mind happy endings, but this implies that had the bong been destroyed within a few days of the original deaths in the 60s, there might have been some former 'victims' waking up wherever they had been buried. Not very nice. All told, the visual effects are poor, the acting is poor, except Tommy, but he's just playing a version of himself carried over from his Cheech & Chong days, so not really trying to hard. Two really weird notes come from the character of Larnell's grandfather, who is a foul-mouthed, mean-spirited asshole who ground the film to a halt by showing up, and almost made me turn off the film in disgust at his character. The second note? How do I put this.... Charles Band likes to present Full Moon features as a whole entity, a universe unto itself. What that means is, if Charles Band produces, directs, or writes it, then it can interact with anything he's written, produced, or directed previously. Here, that equals prop cameos from three earlier Full Moon Features, <i>Doll Graveyard, Gingerdead Man, </i>and <i>Demonic Toys</i>, in that order. Why or how they're here doesn't matter, as randomly throwing shit together is a Full Moon trademark, and, to diehard fans, one of it's selling points. In the end, it's harmless, but for the most part, boring. Other than some low points, like the grandfather, nothing stands out for me as particularly scary (except for two of prop cameos, but that will be explained in the fourth review of this little series) or funny. Not even Chong. Waste of talent, waste of time, waste of film. Now matter how nicely it asks, just don't take a hit from an <i>Evil Bong.</i>Booghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01145715311937911358noreply@blogger.com1